[Believe51]

If you want to ponder about what people would feel about someone stopping treatment I will give you my opinion. My husband would be no less of a hero in my book if he chose to stop treatment. In fact, I have told him when he chooses to stop that I will accept the choice he makes. When he started this journey he was in the process of already dying and very quickly at that, and I did mention at that time he had the right to refuse treatment. This is a personal disease and we all have our own choices to make concerning the quality of life. I love all my friends here no matter what thier choices for treatment are. It is my nature to do the rah rah thing, which since I know this offends you I will refrain from doing so. Basically in a nutshell, I support my friends no matter what their choice is, just as most of the members here do. Support is unconditional just like the love I provide, it is me and always has been.

As for the rah rah thing I firmly believe in it and it has always been my nature in life long before breast cancer. It is not a blame game if someone loses to this battle whether they had a good or poor attitude. This disease has taken from me some of the most heroic heros, some positve, some negative, some religious, some not. We do not need to smile if we do not feel like it, breast cancer or not for it does not take breast cancer to make a person do that. As for people saying "Stay Positive" or "He will beat this, he is strong & healthy", sometimes people on the outside do not know what to say, just that they want to remain supportive. It is your job as a patient to tell them, "I do not want to smile today", if you do not say what YOU feel, it is all with you.

I am with Brenda, I like both mindsets because it is such a random journey. This is a disease none of us wanted in our lives, what we do to heal or how we go about it is totally up to us and how our bodies accept it. Sometimes that involves a positive attitude, sometimes someone is not religious. All I know is that I shall never know why or what helped my husband to get worse, then better, then worse, now on the up. I shall continue to Believe, I shall pray, I shall do the rah rah thing, I will research, I will shall be the best caregiver that I know how to be, we shall communicate. I know when to push him to eat or to let him sleep, that is from communication of what his needs and wishes are. So PinkGirl, I am sorry if I personally am one of those rah rah persons you mention but it is my means of support and certainly my personality.

If you ask me about this journey I have said before that I view it as a circle. We get diagnosed, we learn, we give, we get the best medical team together, we support, we nuture. We look for the best medicine that suits our needs with this most personal journey. We give back to others who are affected now or maybe in the future to help them on this path. If something in the circle goes amuck, such as the medicine does not work, well, the circle is not complete. The friends I have lost had almost perfect circles, but the chemo stopped or they were weakened because they had no support team. I know this may sound crazy to you PinkGirl, but it is my visualization of this horrific journey. It is a combo of many things that gets us through, sometimes fate plays the part.

It certainly is OUR choice on our attitudes, treatment choices, or even the decision to stop that treatment. I Believe in the power of choice, positive thinking, prayer, some degree of nutrition (hubby was the healthiest person I knew BEFORE cancer so nutrition thoughts are quite different now). I think that quality of life is important whatever your choice and communication is key to obtain your desires of that quality. Again, I love everyone here the same, some women I know better than others, but the love remains the same. I remind you that these are MY feelings and I guess whatever gets me through the day. It is all I know. And I will always view my husband as the hero in my life no matter what. Let us face it, this disease WILL COME TO GET HIM SOMEDAY, just not now.

Believe51