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Andrea Barnett Budin · 09-25-2007, 12:33 PM

Tonya, We all relate to your not so private meltdown. Do not be embarrassed. Any one who has been down this road totally empathizes with such a moment. And, Tonya it is true that is a part of the process, the grieving for what has been lost and what must be endured. Crying is HEALING. It is a good thing that this happened, believe it or not. It means you are in touch with your emotions and deepest thoughts and have not only connected with them, but purged yourself of them. This is how we experience our feelings and then move on. You knew it would happen and so it did. MAY YOU *KNOW* THAT YOU WILL BE HERE ON THIS EARTH LONG INTO THE FUTURE. WHAT WE *KNOW* COMES TO PASS! That is a Knowing I cherish, and work with all day, every day. Have FAITH in that, Tonya.

Typically, I had mine privately, behind a closed bathroom door. I melted right down to the floor. I couldn't speak. My daughter was on the phone, my husband gently knocking, but I could not yet respond. I had to have a moment. Then, I became revived and took a shaky step back into Life. May you be stronger for dealing with what must be dealt with so that you can get on with Life and dance with NED...

Prayers and love to you and Mom...
Andi

09-25-2007, 12:33 PM	#10
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Evidence That You Are Healing! Tonya, We all relate to your not so private meltdown. Do not be embarrassed. Any one who has been down this road totally empathizes with such a moment. And, Tonya it is true that is a part of the process, the grieving for what has been lost and what must be endured. Crying is HEALING. It is a good thing that this happened, believe it or not. It means you are in touch with your emotions and deepest thoughts and have not only connected with them, but purged yourself of them. This is how we experience our feelings and then move on. You knew it would happen and so it did. MAY YOU KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE HERE ON THIS EARTH LONG INTO THE FUTURE. WHAT WE KNOW COMES TO PASS! That is a Knowing I cherish, and work with all day, every day. Have FAITH in that, Tonya. Typically, I had mine privately, behind a closed bathroom door. I melted right down to the floor. I couldn't speak. My daughter was on the phone, my husband gently knocking, but I could not yet respond. I had to have a moment. Then, I became revived and took a shaky step back into Life. May you be stronger for dealing with what must be dealt with so that you can get on with Life and dance with NED... Prayers and love to you and Mom... Andi __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...