[rinaina]

Shiela, I was so saddened by your post for as everyone has stated, we always looked forward to your very upbeat posts from the past. You have always had such a positive outlook. Not much I can add that hasn't already been stated however, my suggestion would be to definitely communicate with your hubby, if he is receptive to talking, and relay your feelings to him and tell him how hurt your are. If you are having trouble doing this either at your end or his, then write him a letter. Sometimes seeing things in writing has more of an impact then when we get all emotional when we are talking. Many a times I have had to write a letter to my husband to convey my feelings or dismay about something because I get too excited, and not in a good way, when I try to talk to him. Please don't allow yourself to get too down about this. Sometimes too, when we are going through so much due to treatment and disease, we lose perspective and things aren't really as bad as we are seeing them. I am hoping this is the case with you. It is true what everyone says, we forget sometimes what are husbands are going through too. They are overewhelmed, frustrated that they can't do things for us or change our health, and they are scared. I think a good heart to heart either verbally or written is in order. If that doesn't work, please consider counseling for both of you. Don't give up on him or the two of you just yet. Best of luck with everything. I will be praying for you and your husband.