[Audrey]

Sheila, I was sorry to read your latest post--you've been through so much lately...I was reminded of my own husband's reaction to my cancer--I also went to treatments by myself--his mom would drop me off and he would leave work a little early to come pick me up. I always felt a little jealous of the other women who always had their spouse by their side during every treatment and dr. appt. Anyway, I also lost both breasts and my hair, gained 20 pounds, felt tired all the time and had two small children to raise. One day he told me he was so tired of all this, that he had "compassion fatigue" and just wasn't attracted to me anymore. I was devasted. What happened to "in sickness and in health" vows and all that? We did talk to a social worker and she made me understand a little how much stress he was under and how differently men cope with their fears of loss. I thankfully had a lot of support from my friends and family, and we were able to get our marriage back on track again. Of course, now that I'm six years out from my diagnosis, have implants, my hair back and lost the extra weight, life is good again. However, it weighs on me that if I get sick again, he's not going to be my "rock" or as supportive as I would like him to be. When I mentioned this to my friend, another bc survivor, she said "that's why we have daughters" and it's true, I know that my little girl will be there for me. I can sympathesize with your pain and am wishing you the best that you can find some peace with your husband's lack of support at this time--Sometimes they are just doing the best they can, even if we'd like it to be more. I agree that finding other support people would be a good thing for you right now until he's ready and able to step up to the plate.