[VaMoonRise]

I agree with what every warrior sister has said, some beautiful and inspiring posts by the way ladies. There isn't too much I can add that hasn't already been said.

When I was first diagnosed as stage "4" I was so angry. I had done everything right as far as being proactive and having mammograms done every six months for a year and half after having been diagnosed with DCIS stage "0" with only microcalcifications in 2004. How could I possibly go from stage "0" to stage "4" in just a year and a half? It didn't make sense to me and I wanted so badly to blame someone. I still have moments where I get angry about it but they are few and far between and only when I am at my most vulnerable now. My biggest fears aren't for myself but for my loved ones, because I know that it isn't the ones who leave us who suffer, but the ones who are left behind who suffer the most. I try not to dwell on that too much and when I just can't help myself I pray and I feel God's reassurance that He will take care of them and that they will be okay.

As crazy as it sounds my life has been so enriched and become so much fuller since having metastatic breast cancer. Every morning that I awake I am grateful for. I say a little prayer of thanks for the gift of today before my feet hit the floor. My personal relationships are much more meaningful and intimate, so many amazingly wonderful people have come into my life that otherwise wouldn't have, my relationship with God and Christ has become so much closer, richer and deeper than I ever dreamed possible for myself, I have recently found a church that I love and that makes me feel like I am apart of a family, my appreciation for nature, that has always been great has become even more profound, my love for myself has grown deeper. I could go on and on but basically cancer has enriched my life to a level that it had never been at before and for that I am grateful.

I love what Andy wrote when she said:

I REFUSE TO ALLOW FEAR-DRIVEN CONCEPTS TO MANIPULATE ME AND PLAY GAMES WITH MY LIFE AND WELL-BEING. I WILL NOT GIVE MY POWER AWAY TO ANY ONE OR ANY THING. I WILL NOT ALLOW A SINGLE MOMENT OF A SINGLE HOUR TO BE STOLEN FROM ME, LOST TO SADNESS OR FEAR.

This is exactly how I feel. Whenever I feel any negative feelings or thoughts creeping in I start talking to God and they immediately go away and I am filled with a sense of peace and well being. I too have little conversations with God & Christ throughout the day. I love this as it fills me to the point of over flowing joy, so much so that at times I feel like I may just burst with happiness.

As Jean said so well:

We know and understand how precious each & every moment is. How lucky we are to be so aware of the beauty of each hour. To really know to enjoy the days and not "Sweat the small Stuff" ! We now have obtained an acute and sharp awareness of life, love and what is truly important.

Faith, we will all have our moments that test us to the limits but please know that it is completely normal and that we are all here for you and as your name states, when these times hit always hand it over to God and He will take the burden from you and replace it with faith, comfort, love and peace of mind.

Also be sure to read and reread the so many inspirational posts on here especially the ones from warriors like TriciaK & Andrea Barnett Budin who have been living with stage "4" for so many years and who are still here fighting the good fight, they are my heroes and in whose foot steps I hope to follow.

Guess I had more to add than I thought, lol.

We all love you Sweetie and are here for you through thick and thin. Sending you lots of love, warm hugs, feelings of happiness and well being, prayers and strength to seize every moment and to run like the wind with it.

Love & God Bless,
Nicola