[VaMoonRise]

Dear Chelee,

My heart breaks along with yours with hearing this very sad news of your Mother's passing. I know how much pain you are in right in. I am sure that your insides are screaming and you think no one can hear you but yourself. Well, Sweetie I hear you.

I lost my Big Brother in 1986 to a drowning accident. He was my hero, my mentor, my protector, my best friend. I was only 17 years old at the time. I lost my boyfriend in 1989 to a drunk driver, he was on his way to see me when the accident occurred. I lost my Mother to BC in 1995. Lost my step father in 2005 to emphysema. My Mother too was my very best friend. There was nothing that we didn't share or do together. She was so beautiful, loving, nurturing, compassionate,quick witted and feisty as all get out. She loved her children more than life and we all knew it, she spoiled us rotten, always putting us before her self. I was her caregiver along with my step father while she fought this horrible ugly disease and she fought it so bravely, with such dignity and strength. Seeing what she went through back then when treatments were almost worse than the disease it's self is where I gain my strength from to fight this disease. She never complained, never asked why me or allowed herself to get depressed. She truly was a Beautiful Warrior Queen. Whenever I am terrified of something having to do with this disease I only need to think of her and I tell myself if she could go through what she did when fighting this fight and never complain than I can face whatever it is I am facing at that moment and this feeling of inner calm comes over me and I manage to get through another bump in the road. I lost my Father in 2001 to lung cancer. Although we had a turbulent relationship my whole life I was finally able to forgive him for all the pain that he caused my family and me and even asked him to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day as a true sign of my forgiveness because I had told him in the past that he would never walk me down the aisle, that I would have my step father walk me down the aisle. I got to know him as a man an individual the year before he died and I am so grateful for that time we had together. I worry about my Big Sister who I love so dearly, we have lost so much over the years already and I don't want her to lose yet another and the last member of her immediate biological family. It rips my heart out to even think about it. I know that isn't going to happen for a very long time though because I truly believe that the Greatest Physician in the world, Jesus Christ is healing me.

I know that there isn't much anyone can say to you right now that is truly comforting or that will lessen your pain but please know that we are all here for you and that if we could take away any part of the pain and loss you are feeling that we would do it in a heart beat. We are all cyber hugging you right now and praying for you. As you are thinking about your Mom and all of the wonderful memories you have of her, try to picture her as the beautiful Guardian Angel that she is now. Completely free of pain, filled only with peace, overwhelming joy and love, basking in the warmth of our Lord's omniessence and loving embrace. Reunited with loved ones who have gone before her and looking down upon you with loving eyes and a smile on her face because she knows what a beautiful child she raised and that her child is strong enough to get through this and will one day soon be able to think of all the memories you shared and once again will be able to smile because you are so strong and grateful that she was your Mother and for the time you had together and because you know that her suffering is over and that she has nothing but happiness now in her new life with our Lord and Saviour.

May time heal your heart, memories soothe and comfort your soul and the Lord bless you and yours.

Love, Warm Hugs & God Bless, Sweetie,
Nicola