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Chelee · 08-12-2007, 11:50 PM

Vanessa, No...you are FAR from nuts...I think its the other way around. I'm sorry but your husband is just plain cruel to talk to you that way and say you brought the cancer on yourself. This guy is just mean and *trying* to push your buttons. One of the BEST things you can do when he goes off saying such mean things is total *indifference*. That will drive him crazy and he will be so disappointed that he *can't* upset you which seems to be his ultimate goal for some reason.

You have enough to deal with. Don't give him the time of day. As the others mentioned...get a lawyer if you don't already have one. If he thinks threatening you with a divorce will make you come un-glued...call his bluff and do it. You just don't need that in your life. Thats really nice that he decides to do this every time you find out you have to continue on your chemo. What great timing. He seems to want to turn things around and make this all about him. I am serious....instead of letting him know he is getting to you by pushing buttons....TOTAL INDIFFERENCE! It works..try it. He won't know what to make of that. Give him no satisfaction other then that divorce he wants. I sure hope things get better for you soon. You certainly don't need added stress in your life. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and know we are all here for you.

Chelee

08-12-2007, 11:50 PM	#9
Chelee Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Southern, CA Posts: 2,511	Vanessa, No...you are FAR from nuts...I think its the other way around. I'm sorry but your husband is just plain cruel to talk to you that way and say you brought the cancer on yourself. This guy is just mean and trying to push your buttons. One of the BEST things you can do when he goes off saying such mean things is total indifference. That will drive him crazy and he will be so disappointed that he can't upset you which seems to be his ultimate goal for some reason. You have enough to deal with. Don't give him the time of day. As the others mentioned...get a lawyer if you don't already have one. If he thinks threatening you with a divorce will make you come un-glued...call his bluff and do it. You just don't need that in your life. Thats really nice that he decides to do this every time you find out you have to continue on your chemo. What great timing. He seems to want to turn things around and make this all about him. I am serious....instead of letting him know he is getting to you by pushing buttons....TOTAL INDIFFERENCE! It works..try it. He won't know what to make of that. Give him no satisfaction other then that divorce he wants. I sure hope things get better for you soon. You certainly don't need added stress in your life. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and know we are all here for you. Chelee __________________ DX: 12-20-05 - Stage IIIA, Her2/Neu, 3+++,Er & Pr weakly positive, 5 of 16 pos nodes. Rt. MRM on 1-3-06 -- No Rads due to compromised lungs. Chemo started 2-7-06 -- TCH - - Finished 6-12-06 Finished yr of wkly herceptin 3-19-07 3-15-07 Lt side prophylactic simple mastectomy. -- Ooph 4-05-07 9-21-09 PET/CT "Recurrence" to Rt. axllia, Rt. femur, ilium. Possible Sacrum & liver? Now stage IV. 9-28-09 Loading dose of Herceptin & started Zometa 9-29-09 Power Port Placement 10-24-09 Mass 6.4 x 4.7 cm on Rt. femur head. 11-19-09 RT. Femur surgery - Rod placed 12-7-09 Navelbine added to Herceptin/Zometa. 3-23-10 Ten days of rads to RT femur. Completed. 4-05-10 Quit Navelbine--Herceptin/Zometa alone. 5-4-10 Appt. with Dr. Slamon to see what is next? Waiting on FISH results from femur biopsy. Results to FISH was unsuccessful--this happens less then 2% of the time. 7-7-10 Recurrence to RT axilla again. Back to UCLA for options.