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dlaxague · 08-02-2007, 07:52 AM

I really like how this discussion is so supportive. Each person sharing what worked for her but completely without judgement of other's choices.

Regarding husbands, and reconstruction or not - I think that response is just as varied as is the woman's. I know women whose husbands thought that reconstruction was essential, and as long as the wife was in agreement, these couples are apparently both happy with that choice.

After diagnosis (but still before surgery) my husband seemed to have developed a breast aversion. It was as if he felt these previously wonderful body parts of mine had betrayed us. He did not touch either one of them again. When we began to talk of bilateral surgery (elective simple on the noncancer side), he was all for it. When we looked together at photos of reconstructed breasts, and talked about how they would have little sensation, we were equally unimpressed and progressively uninterested. We were lucky in that our thoughts were very similar throughout. Not that these were the right thoughts for everyone - but for us they were, and we have no regrets.

Which, again, is not to say that we don't miss my breasts, each in our own separate ways. And which is certainly not to say that I love my flat chest. I am okay with my flat chest, I accept why it's there and am grateful for the life that I've had since cancer diagnosis. I figure a flat chest is a relatively small price to have paid for what I've received - lots and lots of learning and quality life experience. But still, I miss having breasts. Although I give "not wanting more surgery" as one of the reasons for not doing reconstruction, I will fantasize and contradict that by saying that if there were some way to put back MY breasts (floppy, small, silly things that they were), I'd be in THAT line in a heartbeat, even if took ten surgeries.

Time changes perspective a bit. I'm six years out from surgery. I rarely think about my chest anymore. It's just there. When I get new clothing, it's a consideration, just like my broad hips are a consideration - that's just the way I am. But it's not a big deal.

Debbie Laxague

08-02-2007, 07:52 AM	#30
dlaxague Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 221	I really like how this discussion is so supportive. Each person sharing what worked for her but completely without judgement of other's choices. Regarding husbands, and reconstruction or not - I think that response is just as varied as is the woman's. I know women whose husbands thought that reconstruction was essential, and as long as the wife was in agreement, these couples are apparently both happy with that choice. After diagnosis (but still before surgery) my husband seemed to have developed a breast aversion. It was as if he felt these previously wonderful body parts of mine had betrayed us. He did not touch either one of them again. When we began to talk of bilateral surgery (elective simple on the noncancer side), he was all for it. When we looked together at photos of reconstructed breasts, and talked about how they would have little sensation, we were equally unimpressed and progressively uninterested. We were lucky in that our thoughts were very similar throughout. Not that these were the right thoughts for everyone - but for us they were, and we have no regrets. Which, again, is not to say that we don't miss my breasts, each in our own separate ways. And which is certainly not to say that I love my flat chest. I am okay with my flat chest, I accept why it's there and am grateful for the life that I've had since cancer diagnosis. I figure a flat chest is a relatively small price to have paid for what I've received - lots and lots of learning and quality life experience. But still, I miss having breasts. Although I give "not wanting more surgery" as one of the reasons for not doing reconstruction, I will fantasize and contradict that by saying that if there were some way to put back MY breasts (floppy, small, silly things that they were), I'd be in THAT line in a heartbeat, even if took ten surgeries. Time changes perspective a bit. I'm six years out from surgery. I rarely think about my chest anymore. It's just there. When I get new clothing, it's a consideration, just like my broad hips are a consideration - that's just the way I am. But it's not a big deal. Debbie Laxague __________________ 3/01 ~ Age 49, occult primary announced by large axillary node found by my husband. Multiple CBE's, mammogram, U/S could not find anything in the breast. Axillary node biopsy - pathology said + for "mets above diaphragm, probably breast". 4/01 ~ Bilateral mastectomies (LMRM, R simple) - 1.2cm IDC was found at pathology. 5 of 11 axillary nodes positive, largest = 6cm. Stage IIIA ERPR 5%/1% (re-done later at Baylor, both negative at zero). HER2neu positive by IHC and FISH (8.89). Lymphovascular invasion, grade 3, 8/9 modified SBR. TX: Control of arm of NSABP B-31's adjuvant Herceptin trial (no Herceptin): A/C x 4 and Taxol x 4 q3weeks, then rads. Arimidex for two years, stopped after second patholgy opinion.