[Believe51]

Nicola, I am so sorry for the torment you are going through right now, your post had ME spinning along with you. My husband has just finished his WBR and had his share of side effects, one that bothered him most was the confusion, his memory recall and the balancing was troubling too. Since he is off the Decadron and finished with radiation things are falling back into place slowly, the same should hold true for you too. I cannot offer you any medical advice from the questions you have posed but I can send some kind words your way and offer my cyber-friendship.

WBR is a one time thing and should take care of most of the problem for a large majority of the patients, then the gamma knife for those stubborn mets that did not completely go away. Right now the waiting for the next scans is brutal. All I want for all of us is to get a decent result so we can go on fighting this battle. I know many people including my dear late Aunt Eva (brain cancer), who had WBR/gamma knife and made out okay. I do know several friends who have liver mets who have also made out alright. Nicola, the most vital information I can give you is that I worked on an Oncology floor of our area hospital......I have seen many miracles through the years, so many that I refuse 'NOT TO BELIEVE'!!!! I have witnessed many doctors stand there scratching their heads, they appear to be totally confused until they realize what has happened!! By-george, it is a miracle!! I refuse to let any one of them give us a sentence. Why can we not be the next miracle??? Why not you??? Why not the next person??? Soon you shall catch your break.

If you feel better today, write another post with specific questions for these fine friends here that I call 'My Extended Family'. They have always made us feel better than we ever knew we could feel during this outrageous battle with breast cancer. It is sad that your sister cannot give you a daily hug during this all, I think that she would if she was nearer, but surely she has you in heart every second of every day. We can hug you from here, in fact I am sending bigs hugs to you right now, I am throwing prayers at you and positive thoughts your way. You will remain in our prayers, so...we pretty much have you surrounded from the east coast.

As for leaving your loved ones alone here without you: It is my husband who has stage IV HER+ Inflammatory Breast Cancer w/mets to all bones and brain. So I am that person, I am the one that he will be leaving. And I am telling you from the bottom of my very huge heart with the experience of being a seasoned caregiver....I have the same fight. I may not have BC but I still live it each and every day. I am fighting to keep him here and to do everything in my determined power to do so. Keep close to your sister as you always have, she may not be there to help with the laundry, but she can sure know when your appointments are so she can have you covered from where she is. We will surround you Nicola, we will all shower you with the love and support that you need so direly. Make her feel like she is doing what she can to support you because I KNOW firsthand how she is feeling. I feel so helpless, so deperately helpless. Sis will feel she is an integral part of your recovery.

Sorry to ramble on; I love to talk, to help, to absorb others heartache and I always have, breast cancer just made me better. It gives me a reason to give back for all that others have given to us and still do. Remember we all have the same fight, whether patient or caregiver we are fighting to petition for time until our CURE arrives or something close to it. Please do not get offended with this post, it is supposed to give you the nudge you need to smile for a moment. Also remember, you will never be alone, not with this family we have here!!

Waiting For A Miracle....and commanding one soon>>Believe51