HER2 Support Group Forums - View Single Post

KellyA · 07-17-2007, 07:15 AM

Dear Debbie,

I did not find your post critical or blunt. It was actually very informative, and I appreciate the matter-of-factness in it. I have had my markers checked, three times, and had 3 bone scans (to moniter a spot on my ribs). I have had a few scares now, and after aging about 10 years with each one, and obsessing for hours (heck, DAYS!!) with did I have a reoccurance, or didn't I- I think I am finally reaching a "new era" in my treatment. I am SICK,SICK,SICK, of this absolutely controlling my life. It has become who I am, has engulfed me at times, and I am wasting very precious time worrying over it. In addition, I think that I have allowed my worrying to skew the facts in my head and I have forgotten that I do have a very good chance of beating this. Of course there is the chance that I won't- but how sad I would be if that time came and I had not lived my life to the fullest. I have always said that getting breast cancer can be a blessing- people die every day in automobile accidents and never have the chance to say the things they want to, do the things they love, etc. etc. What a wake up call we've gotten.

I agree that much of the testing is not helpful, that it certainly can increase anxiety and fears, and that it can take away from life a bit. I do think that one has to listen to their body, take very good care, and genuinely put forth the effort to do whats humanly possible to be vigilant and fight. The rest is in God's hands. For me letting go of the control THAT I DON'T HAVE has been the hardest part.

Anyways, just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the time you took to write and explain. I don't know why, but the docs seem to have a very hard time explaining what you just did. :-)

Love, Kelly

P.S.- Don't take this the wrong way, but you have even more "credibility" with me just because you've been there yourself, just like us, and had real reason to worry, and dealt with many of the same issues. So I know you understand. Its harder to listen to from a person who has never actually dealt with cancer.

07-17-2007, 07:15 AM	#11
KellyA Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 301	Dear Debbie, I did not find your post critical or blunt. It was actually very informative, and I appreciate the matter-of-factness in it. I have had my markers checked, three times, and had 3 bone scans (to moniter a spot on my ribs). I have had a few scares now, and after aging about 10 years with each one, and obsessing for hours (heck, DAYS!!) with did I have a reoccurance, or didn't I- I think I am finally reaching a "new era" in my treatment. I am SICK,SICK,SICK, of this absolutely controlling my life. It has become who I am, has engulfed me at times, and I am wasting very precious time worrying over it. In addition, I think that I have allowed my worrying to skew the facts in my head and I have forgotten that I do have a very good chance of beating this. Of course there is the chance that I won't- but how sad I would be if that time came and I had not lived my life to the fullest. I have always said that getting breast cancer can be a blessing- people die every day in automobile accidents and never have the chance to say the things they want to, do the things they love, etc. etc. What a wake up call we've gotten. I agree that much of the testing is not helpful, that it certainly can increase anxiety and fears, and that it can take away from life a bit. I do think that one has to listen to their body, take very good care, and genuinely put forth the effort to do whats humanly possible to be vigilant and fight. The rest is in God's hands. For me letting go of the control THAT I DON'T HAVE has been the hardest part. Anyways, just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the time you took to write and explain. I don't know why, but the docs seem to have a very hard time explaining what you just did. :-) Love, Kelly P.S.- Don't take this the wrong way, but you have even more "credibility" with me just because you've been there yourself, just like us, and had real reason to worry, and dealt with many of the same issues. So I know you understand. Its harder to listen to from a person who has never actually dealt with cancer. __________________ dx'd 05/06, 37 years old er/pr-, Her2+, grade 3 double mastectomy, immediate reconstruction- implants Stage 2b, 2 tumors- 2.2 cm and 0.6 cm, 3/5 + nodes all scans clear genetic testing- negative 06/06 began dd A/C x 4, 12 weekly Taxols w/ Herceptin 30 rads Herceptin weekly x 1 year Herceptin completed 08/07 Port removed 12/26/07 MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!! 05/17/08 Two year anniversary NED "We gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... you must do the thing that you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt