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Flori, I hear you. It is always devastating and anxiety filled when a treatment change is indicated. Hang in there, the new combination may be just the thing for you, and once you settle into the new treatment routine things will seem better.
I long to feel "normal" too, and achieve some sense of that doing the things I love, outdoor activities like water-skiing, snow skiing, rock climbing, etc.
Do you have any hobbies or things that you are passionate about? Sometimes even reading a good book will transport you to a nicer place.
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