[MJo]

IMHO Public assistance is for people like you -- those who have worked hard all their lives, are willing to work hard again, but need help through a very rough patch. Get all the public assistance you can. I assume you have talked with the American Cancer Society and other cancer assistance programs in your area, as well as state service centers.

As for your husband, and putting aside the fact that he's had to face the pressures of coping with a wife and child with cancer --- I actually identify with him because I have spent a long time trying to figure out who I am. But I have no children depending on me. In fact, knowing myself, I am very glad I have no little ones to care for. Lucky kids have two responsible parents, but one is better than none. You are the one in this family. I think it's okay to still love your Peter Pan husband. But I hope you can wean yourself away from participating in his schemes to make money or find himself, his new career, etc. You don't have to offer him emotional support or encouragement. Your job is to take care of yourself and your kids, because you turned out to be the one capable of doing this, even with cancer. Your husband is ON HIS OWN to make his own way. He is in his mid 30s right? Some men never mature into responsible husbands and fathers, but others mature late. Maybe your hubby is one of these. Maybe when he is 40 he will be more settled, happy with himself, etc. But it's not your job to get him there. It's his job.

Does he do any kind of drugs? Marijuana for instance. That could be one reason for his confusion. Also, domestic violence is non negotiable. I think you did the right thing to involve the police and a domestic violence program. Very smart. YOu also might want to check out books and articles on codependency.

The above are only my opinions. I'm no expert. Keep us posted on how it's going. Take care of your precious health.