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Andrea Barnett Budin · 06-02-2007, 02:18 PM

PS I have been fighting off the fear since '95, and especially since '98. It is a daily process. Monitoring my thoughts. Allowing the what if's and should be's to be experienced and then consciously dispensing w/them as soon as I possibly can. Then connecting w/my spiritual Essence, my Spirit and finding myself lifted up to joy and serenity. Meditation each day, deep breathing and focusing only my the inhalation and exhalation, helps ground me. I become reminded that we are each magnetic fields of energy, drawing neg or pos energy to us from the Universe. I AM ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE is a mantra of mine that is a personal favorite. It is soothing. Reconnects me. Allows me to just BE -- in the moment. Stay in The Now, where happiness is. Don't get caught up in looking ahead or back. Fond memories are joyful, but stay clear of anger, blame, resentment, remorse and the inability to forgive. Reach for kindness and compassion with pure LOVE and as much Grace as you can muster. Sending loving, healing energy to all my Soul Sisters always... ANDI

06-02-2007, 02:18 PM	#15
Andrea Barnett Budin Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: LAND OF YES! w/home in Boca Raton, Florida Orig from L.I., N.Y. Ever hovering IN THE NOW... Posts: 1,904	Fighting Off The Fear Factor PS I have been fighting off the fear since '95, and especially since '98. It is a daily process. Monitoring my thoughts. Allowing the what if's and should be's to be experienced and then consciously dispensing w/them as soon as I possibly can. Then connecting w/my spiritual Essence, my Spirit and finding myself lifted up to joy and serenity. Meditation each day, deep breathing and focusing only my the inhalation and exhalation, helps ground me. I become reminded that we are each magnetic fields of energy, drawing neg or pos energy to us from the Universe. I AM ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE is a mantra of mine that is a personal favorite. It is soothing. Reconnects me. Allows me to just BE -- in the moment. Stay in The Now, where happiness is. Don't get caught up in looking ahead or back. Fond memories are joyful, but stay clear of anger, blame, resentment, remorse and the inability to forgive. Reach for kindness and compassion with pure LOVE and as much Grace as you can muster. Sending loving, healing energy to all my Soul Sisters always... ANDI __________________ Andi BB '95 post-meno dx Invasive LOBULAR w/9cm tumor! YIKES + 2/21 nodes. Clear mammo 10 mnths earlier. Mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT/8 mnths chemo (4Adria/8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen 2 yrs. Felt BLESSED. I could walk and talk, feed and bathe myself! I KNEW I would survive... '98 -- multiple mets to liver. HER2+ 80%. ER/PR- Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast. New PORT. 9 mnths Taxotere Fought fire w/fire! Pronounced in cautious remission 5/99. Taxotere weekly for 6 wks, 2 wks off -- for 9 mnths. TALK ABOUT GRUELING! (I believe they've altered that protocol since those days -- sure hope so!!) + good old Vit H wkly for 1st 3 yrs, then triple dosage ev 3 wks for 7 yrs more... The "easy" chemo, right?! Not a walk in the park, but not a freight train coming at 'ya either... Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked it for met bc). Stayed w/Vit H till July '08! Now I AM FREE! Humbly and eternally grateful for this life-saving drug! NED since '99 and planning on keeping it that way. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! STOPPED VIT H JULY '08...! REMAIN STABLE... Eternally grateful...Yes is a world & in this world of yes live (skillfully curled) all worlds ... (e e cummings) EVERY DAY I BEAT MY PREVIOUS RECORD FOR # OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS I'VE STAYED ALIVE. Smile KNOWING you too can be a miracle. Up to me and God now...