[Mary Anne in TX]

Hi Stephanie! I have grown boys, but one is a single parent and for now we have his little girl, our granddaughter! She is 7 1/2 and has had a difficult time with my illness. I remember last year when I had no hair going to her kindergarten graduation and causing her to hear some ugly comments about the scarf on my head. She was confused that they didn't like my "hair do"! I told her that I didn't either, but didn't have a choice. In the past year, I have had lots of conversations with her about my illness. She has tried to plan her future without me, just in case. She has come up with possible families to take her in, etc. Ugh! What a time all that was. Thankfully, we have gotten past that part. But she does worry about my dying and leaving her. She has a mother that gave her up and a dad who stuggles with alcoholism. My husband and I have decided to just listen to everything and all she has to say and try our best to comfort her. Sometimes she cries, I give her lots of hugs and tell her that there are many who will always keep her safe. (I have another son who would fill the role if needed and has pledged to do so) It gets easier, but there are still hard times for her and for me. Then we talk it through and talk about all the "safety nets" waiting to help her if necessary. I think the talks help me as much as her - maybe more! I teach her everything I can think to teach her and just love her and try to keep her life normal (whatever that is) and filled with lots of activities! Best wishes to you and trust your heart. Just love and talk and talk and love. ma