[chrisy]

Joy,
You are such an amazing person - and so aptly named. I always look to you for hope and encouragement, and I see your strength in the face of all the sucky things. And that great sense of humor.

So, you proved to yourself that you can have a true 'cancer free' holiday! Thats terrific. It is incredible how a change of environment can effect such a dramatic change in your outlook. The old picture I had on here was a year ago when I had the same experience - a vacation where I somehow forgot all about cancer. It really is liberating. Sorry you felt slammed in the face when you opened that door to your home - the very place you should feel safe and loved.

I certainly don't have the answer of how to not think about it AT ALL on a daily basis - I'm not even sure that's a good idea. But maybe we can find ways to box it in - or out. Maybe create a room or a space with a big "NO CANCER ALLOWED" sign on it. A cancer-free zone. Maybe create times during the day that are like that. Sure sounds easier said than done, I know!

Or maybe I'll send my friend Pat over to see you - her daughter is at school in Ft. Collins. I guarantee you Pat will make you forget ALL about cancer (but you may need to change your name and leave town!)

In the meantime, I know you know that part of your reality is how many people love and care for you, including us here. Try wrapping that reality around you.

Take care
Chris