[KellyA]

Thank you. I don't know what happened yesterday. This thing has been in the back of my mind now and doesn't seem to go away. I thought that I had reached a certain level of comfort with it, but apparently not. I am going to have to pursue some kind of testing to get a more definitive answer so I can put this to rest.

Oh I just feel horrible for the Edwards. It was crushing news. I just love Elisabeth Edwards- she is a beautiful woman who is so strong and has been through so much. Sometimes it seems so unfair when people have so much to deal with. She is really so inspirational and someone very special. I want everything to be ok for her.

Since cancer something very different has happened to me. I don't know if I'll be able to put it into words or not. I would say that I was a relatively sensitive person before and would be upset for others and try to feel their pain and put myself in their shoes- as much as I could anyways, without being there myself. But to some degree I also realize, and am ashamed to say that there probably was a degree of insensitivityand that things usually never "really hit home". I feel so much deeper now. I ache inside for others.Really ache. I love people that I have never met before and am profoundly affected by adverse things in other peoples lives. I just want to fix everything and make it go away. I feel like when something horrible is happening to someone else, its happening to me and that I can actually really feel like how they might feel. As bad as I feel and as upset as I get when situations arise, I am THANKFUL to the Lord for this blessing. I feel like my eyes have been opened, and my soul is alive. Really alive, for the first time in my life. As hard as it is, it is also a beautiful feeling, one that I probably never would have had without this disease. It is amazing how something so beautiful can come out of something so bad. God is good.

Love, Kelly