[saleboat]

It seems like one of the biggest side-effects of this wretched disease is its emotional impact-- and at least my doctors never really addressed it in any real way, even though it was as real as the chemo side-effects.

I found Ativan to be an enormous help, although I'm very hesitant to take drugs (well, that rule sure went out the door with chemo...)

I was diagnosed two years ago this April, and there are many days now when cancer barely enters my mind. Then there are days that I find it consuming and I'm plagued by fear. But those days get further and further apart, and I feel a much greater sense of well-being than I did even 6 months ago.

All to say, what you feel is totally normal and understandable and yes, there are things like Ativan that can help. I also found trying to meditate a help (I'm not very good at it), yoga and exercise help a lot now too. And I started seeing a therapist, which truthfully, I think every cancer patient should see a therapist at least for a little while. It is such a trauma to be dx'd with cancer, and just like we all have Oncologists, I think a dose-dense regimine of seeing a shrink would help too!

Also, I find that if I spend too much time on breast-cancer discussion boards, I start to freak a little. I have to moderate my usage...it is very tempting to surf the internet for a cure-- and it is a big disappointment!

Best of luck to you,
Jen