Mary Jo, thank you so much. I feel that hug right here at my desk.
Grace, I think you have touched on exactly where these feelings are coming from. Early in diagnosis, we are so overwhelmed with various appointments, tests, second opinions, and the shock of the situation, we don't get the chance to properly grieve our own lost sense of security and well being. All that gets pushed in the background. I looked at Barbaro as some kind of beacon of hope, that if he could defy really bad odds, maybe I could, too. His passing has put me in touch with all the feelings about my diagnosis that I just shoved under the rug so I could keep going forward. They were bound to come out at some point; this is the real catalyst for it. So, in a way, the grief is cathartic. I am sure that I will be back doing justice to my screen name when it has been worked through. Thanks for responding.
Hopeful