[MJo]

I can identify. Wednesday I went to the oncologist due to muga score issues and we decided that the nine months of Herceptin I've completed is enough. I was all prepared to celebrate the end of treatment (except for arimidex) with a trip to the mall to buy shoes! So I casually mention to the oncologist my right side rib pain. I've had rib pain on and off for years -- sometimes on the left, sometimes on the right. I've even had hairline fractures, so my ribs are vulnerable. But he has set me up for a bone scan. For two days I've been as terrified as my first day of diagnosis; today I'm better because I finally slept. I am tired of being frightened by my condition. Stage 1 bone mets are extremely rare, but they happen. Of course I immediately googled symptoms of bone mets. You can do that too. The nurse practicioner didn't help. I wasn't too worried about the bone scan until she told me to "keep my fingers crossed." That reduced me to quivering fright. Of course, this is the women who, when she saw my muga score had gone up a point in 9 weeks, said "I didn't know they could do that."

I don't think it matters much if our recurrence risk is 10% or 40%, the fear is the same. I hope that my bone scan will be clear and that I can go to the mall and buy shoes. MJO