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Special bonds
Sheila and all,
The one thing I have noticed over the years as I have seen friends and family dealing with cancer, is the difference between men and women with respect to how they choose to cope. When women are diagnosed and undergoing treatment, they always confide in each other and lean on each other for emotional support.
When men are dealing with cancer, they go into hiding and fail to find any comfort or support from other men or women for that matter. It is almost as if they were ashamed of the diagnosis, or that they weren't "strong enough" to avoid the disease. I have never understood that. When my barber was suffereing from lung cancer, he never said a word at first. Then, after years of bugging him about his horrendous smoking habit, he finally admitted it to me when he actually developed lung cancer. He only spoke of it when I was the only one in the shop. I offered as much advice and incouragement as I thought he would allow. We had spoken before his diagnosis of how my Father had succumbed to cancer, so I guess he felt I would be at ease with the subject.
I can only hope when my turn comes some day, that my male friends will be supportive and willing to listen to me reach out for conversation. I have a bad feeling that they won't however. Boys will be boys I guess. In men's minds, it is somehow unmanly to have cancer, as it makes us vulnerable and mortal. Perhaps I will come here for my comfort, as I doubt I will be disappointed or find myself fighting alone. I have the greatest respect for all of you here, for the way in which you reach out into the vapor to comfort total strangers with your own personal stories and advice. It certainly has met the world to me and Mom. Take good care this Christmas season and God bless you all.
Humbly,
Tom
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