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jessica · 11-05-2006, 06:42 AM

I'm also 37years old & have been survivING this disease for the past 4+years. I was dx'd @33yo,Stage IV@ primary dx-liver mets. There are so many women on this site that can offer testimonials about survivING this disease and offer hope & wisdom & courage & support. If your friend can find her way to us, she'll be welcomed with open arms.
Sounds like her current status has become pretty complex & I hope she's being treated at a facility that can really support her. Because my disease has been so complex, I switched from a private practice oncology group to a Cancer Institute w/a true interdisciplinary, TEAM approach. It became such a burden to have to consult w/so many different specialists,(onc,surgeon,radiologist,etc) w/too much of a delay in communication btw all my docs. Now everyone is under one roof, w/immediate access to the same records, scan reports, films,and each other! I hope your friend is pursuing a et a second opinion, preferably from a specialized Cancer treatment center/institute.
If what you're stating about your friend's treatment approach is accurate, it seems confusing to me that her oncs are witholding chemo? There many great synergistic combinations of chemo+herceptin, it seems naive/ignorant not to get started right away. So many of us have managed so well on chemo, with some modifications to life. I've done 81 weeks of chemo (so far, unfortunately w/more in the near future) & have still maintained an active, happy life.
My advice to you, as a loving, supportive friend, who probably feels pretty helpless, is to follow her lead...Yes, you may feel angry & scared, but imagine how she must feel!
Put your own pity for her situation aside & offer your friendship, the same friendship you've always shared, with or without cancer. Many times I'm not sure what I need, from moment to moment, inspite of the great generous offers, but I always need my friends to just be there. Sometimes I want to talk about cancer, sometimes I don't. Help her be the best, strongest, loudest advocate for her care, but becareful, UNSOLICITED ADVICE is rarely ever welcomed.
There are no rules when if comes to this disease. All I know is I would not be here today if it weren't for the love & support of my friends and family...As my dear friend has said to me "Stay strong...and when you can't, Lean Hard."

Good luck & God Bless~

11-05-2006, 06:42 AM	#3
jessica Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Atlanta Posts: 87	4+years SurvivING Stage IV... I'm also 37years old & have been survivING this disease for the past 4+years. I was dx'd @33yo,Stage IV@ primary dx-liver mets. There are so many women on this site that can offer testimonials about survivING this disease and offer hope & wisdom & courage & support. If your friend can find her way to us, she'll be welcomed with open arms. Sounds like her current status has become pretty complex & I hope she's being treated at a facility that can really support her. Because my disease has been so complex, I switched from a private practice oncology group to a Cancer Institute w/a true interdisciplinary, TEAM approach. It became such a burden to have to consult w/so many different specialists,(onc,surgeon,radiologist,etc) w/too much of a delay in communication btw all my docs. Now everyone is under one roof, w/immediate access to the same records, scan reports, films,and each other! I hope your friend is pursuing a et a second opinion, preferably from a specialized Cancer treatment center/institute. If what you're stating about your friend's treatment approach is accurate, it seems confusing to me that her oncs are witholding chemo? There many great synergistic combinations of chemo+herceptin, it seems naive/ignorant not to get started right away. So many of us have managed so well on chemo, with some modifications to life. I've done 81 weeks of chemo (so far, unfortunately w/more in the near future) & have still maintained an active, happy life. My advice to you, as a loving, supportive friend, who probably feels pretty helpless, is to follow her lead...Yes, you may feel angry & scared, but imagine how she must feel! Put your own pity for her situation aside & offer your friendship, the same friendship you've always shared, with or without cancer. Many times I'm not sure what I need, from moment to moment, inspite of the great generous offers, but I always need my friends to just be there. Sometimes I want to talk about cancer, sometimes I don't. Help her be the best, strongest, loudest advocate for her care, but becareful, UNSOLICITED ADVICE is rarely ever welcomed. There are no rules when if comes to this disease. All I know is I would not be here today if it weren't for the love & support of my friends and family...As my dear friend has said to me "Stay strong...and when you can't, Lean Hard." Good luck & God Bless~