Dear IVW,
I may offend some here and my apologies in advance for that. This is just my opinion, remember.
I think it is much much MUCH more difficult when you are as young as yourself ESPECIALLY with small children. I'm 57 with two grown daughters. So, for me, I know I would be handling my situation with much more fear and dread if they were young.
From what you've said in both of your posts, you sound like you are generally 'on track' in dealing with everything. And it is also your right and so very normal to have those bleak down days, no matter what else is going on. Your reaching out is evidence of healthy coping skills.
Early Jan of 2000 I was dx'd with Stage IIIb, so am close to your 7 yrs.
Since Sept of 2002 I've been dealing with brain mets, a total of 24 so far. Currently (and for nearly the past 18 mos.) am dealing with 8 lesions in brain. Have been NED in body (knock wood) since late 2002. That amounts to surviving, even WITH ACTIVE brain mets for a bit over four years.
I've been able to let go of a lot of 'crap' by getting all my 'affairs' in order more than three years ago. There may be a few things you could do in that line that could help you, too. But specific to your children. I believe I would have done more along those lines should I be in your position. As it is, I've prepared little notes of wisdom (lol) and music CD's, photos etc.
Here's to worrying about a sagging arse, thin grey hair and asundry other OLD AGE related issues
)
Wishing you years of good days, one day at a time.
with hugs,
pattyz