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Dear Kelly,
Based on nearly five years of experience, it seems to me that staying positive - especially when one doesn't feel well - is just too great an expectation. This is not to say that it's fine to go around feeling depressed or scared all the time but a lot of what you're going through IS depressing and scary.
What I found most helpful was talking (for several months) with the new oncology therapist at my HMO. He was the third person to lead the breast cancer support group in the five years that I was aware of its existence. My point in mentioning about the three different people is that the first two were so-so but it was worth it to keep seeking help until I found this third person who has guided me over some truly rough spots.
I hope you will feel better soon which will also help lift your spirits.
Karen
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