[chrisy]

My dear friend Chelee,

I am truly sorry that you are continuing to have such trouble with your medical team and are feeling trapped in a situation which has been less than supportive to you.

You've received several great practical suggestions for getting a response from your HMO - a well written, detailed letter with cc to the HMO management and, since you are in California, the Insurance Commissioner, could definitely help get some action. Lawyer letterhead is always an added inducement! Chocolate is also helpful, but I disagree with Tom - I think your situation calls for nothing less than SCHARFFENBERGER!

You've also received some great suggestions for managing the stress associated with this mess. Some of the responses which you may be viewing as less than supportive might also be seen as "tough love". Nobody thinks these issues are "all in your head"; you have every reason to feel stressed and angry. I would too! Please do not take these responses as a signal to "shut up" or that another support safety net is being yanked from under you. We care about you very much and speaking for myself, your cheerful and encouraging responses to others posts always lift my spirits.

The concern you are hearing from us is that being in a prolonged state of stress does not serve your health. Managing stress is unfortunately ONE MORE THING we have to do to successfully fight this disease.

I've heard some fascinating speakers on the topic of stress reduction. I guess you could say I was a "stress junkie"! The readers digest version is that when faced with danger, the body releases stress hormones which give a quick boost to our "fight or flight" survival mechanisms - diverting blood flow to our muscles and away from our higher consciousness (ability to reason). This response harkens back to our early evolution. Unfortunately, human beings do not run very fast, don't have very sharp claws (especially those with taxotere/herceptin nails!) and don't fly very well at all. Our survival advantage is our ability to think and reason. Being in a constant state of arousal (stress response) is detrimental to our immune and cardiovascular systems and makes it more difficult to think clearly just when we need it most.

So, I would agree that finding some ways to decrease your anxiety and relax would serve you. As would getting some local support. I'm not saying it is easy, but it is worth some effort. Anything to give you more power! I've found that meditation helps me get relaxed and focused (although that's not saying I do it well!)

Finally, remember you are being treated with the "miracle drug" Herceptin, which as Esther said, is a VERY valid treatment option.

Take care Chelee, we are with you all the way.
Hugs,
Chris