[koolbreeze]

Chelee, I know that all this is frustrating and difficult. It seems that you may need to take a step back and determine the things that are really important. I know you are SCARED and EVERYTHING seems like it is important. However, you are beginning to sound over anxious in your posts and that concerns me. I am not trying to be judgemental here or condone the doctors treatment of your emotional state, I am just trying to let you know what I am seeing.

Does your insurance cover any mental health care? Maybe talking with a professional couselor might help you to find some things that you can do for yourself to reduce your stress level.

I have seen lots of good suggestions to you in previous posts about contacting the ACS or Komen foundation. Have you tried any of those? I really think it is important for you to find someone to talk with; another survivor, a counselor, an advoacte, a friend, someone that will listen and let you vent and help you think through these things, without judgement. They may be able to help you focus on those things that you have control over and let go of the things that you cannot control or what has happened in the past.

Please take a step back, breathe, try to relax a little, and focus on what you have control over. I will be thinking of you. Hugs Kool