Depressed
 

I'm not sure what exactly is going on with me right now. I had my last (hopefully) surgery on 9/13 - I finished Herceptin in August and I don't need radiation. My visit with the doctor 2 weeks ago had excellent results. All in all, I am doing well but I just feel depressed. I feel guilty about feeling this way as there are so many wonderful people that are really struggling right now. Has anyone else felt this way after finishing their treatments? Am I totally odd??

Re: Depressed
 

Sometimes when you are so focused the journey ahead, and then you get thru it. it's almost like a roller coaster ride. When first going to treatment your life and schedule changes, not just for you also for those around you. Now that you are nearing completion, your are leaving part of the other routine and family. There is no reason to feel guilty about others who are struggling, does not mean you can't stay in contact, pop in on their treatment days with little trinkets of love and caring, get info to send letters etc. Be a Volunteer just to hold someones hand , volunteer with American Cancer Society. Read andreas posts, she is always encouraging.
Peace and Prayers
Darita

Re: Depressed
 

You are normal. This will pass. I was actually depressed because treatment was ending...especially Herceptin. I felt I was cut loose and on my own...only to worry did all of this work for me?Just hold onto the fact that the treatment you recieved has produced amazing results for many of us. You have to find a new normal, because you have been through over a year of doctors, surgery and infusions. To celebrate my last procedure which was getting stitches removed from my replacement surgery...my appointment was in the morning and that afternoon we headed west on a roadtrip to Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico. ( I also treated myself to a pair of handmade Lucchese cowboy boots, which is crazy for me since I am on the frugile side) I booked hotels along the way from my i-phone. I wanted to feel spontaneous again...and it really cleared my head. The trip was great for my husband also, who was my primary caregiver. Treat yourself to something that will relax you and get you in tune with nature!

Re: Depressed
 

Thanks to both of you for your thoughts!

Re: Depressed
 

I don't know you well enough to tell you if you are "odd" or not but I can say that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Remember that guy who recently walked a tight wire over the grand canyon without a net? I kind of felt like that after my last Herceptin. I just remind myself every day upon rising that I'm alive and loved and then I try to move on.

Move on? Did I say that? I visit my infusion nurses often. When my rad onc recently told me I didn't need to see her again for a year I said "see you in 6 months!". It's a hard "break up". I involve myself in my community trying to raise funds for folks going thru cancer treatments now, I savor the taste of fresh picked tomatoes and I carry on. You can do it too. Survivors guilt? No one wants you to feel that way. Now you are free to live your life...find something that gives you a sense of satisfaction and do it.

Best
Leah

Re: Depressed
 

This is normal. when you finish treatment there is a gap and you wonder, did it work, am I ok, etc. it's time to start returning to your life before cancer. take your time and accept whatever emotions you are going through. your routine is changing and that's always unsettling whatever the change is.\
well don to be through with it.
enjoy life
health and happiness
sarah

Re: Depressed
 

Just another who went through the same feelings. Peace my friend this too shall pass. Gods blessings are all around you.

Re: Depressed
 

I had the same experience. It will pass. You are entirely normal!

Jacqueline

Re: Depressed
 

I went through the same thing and it will get better, I found time to be my friend as the longer out I was the more confident I became.

Re: Depressed
 

I understand what you mean.....I would prefer to never go to the doctor again, and I find it depressing to go. I had my diep flap surgery and go back to work 10/21. I do not like the idea we hope it works. Or noticing every little change in my body and wonder is this normal? Will I have energy again? Will nothing hurt soon? I feel ya!

Re: Depressed
 

Star,
I can't speak for everyone...
but please, please don't ever feel guilty about how you're feeling on my account.

What you're feeling, whatever, and whenever you're feeling it is REAL.
And I'm certain you feel it just as profoundly as anyone else on this board...
no matter what it is they're dealing with at the moment... related to BC or not.

We stage IV gals don't have a corner on the depression market.
Have you talked to your doctor?

After all your body has been through in the last year, it would not surprise me one bit if the balance of feel good brain chemicals in YOUR brain was a little off kilter.
It's very natural... nothing to be embarrassed about... but not something to ignore either.
A brief stint on a mild anti-depressant might be just the thing to get those brain juices back in balance.
I would definitely mention it to my onc or primary.

In the meantime, I'm sorry you're hurting.
I agree with the others, I believe your feelings of contentment will return.
A whole year of your life was just stolen from you...
you had all those med. professionals making sure you were okay...
and now you're on your own.
Frankly... wouldn't you have to be a little "off" not to be feeling strange now? :)

Sending a big healing hug!
Denise