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-   -   My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks (https://her2support.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=44297)

charlotte 03-19-2010 08:50 PM

My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
I hope I don't depress ya'll but my mother died about 3 1/2 weeks ago.. that I thought was the hardest thing I was going through. she died with me stroking her arm and telling her how much I loved her.
well, my husband died yesterday. the funeral will be tomorrow. He had sarcodosis and only had about 10 percent left of his lungs that worked. I have cried until I have made myself sick. I realize this site is for cancer patients... (I am one, unfortunately).. I am pacing the floor and trying to "be strong"... I have no reserves left in me. I always thought I would be the first to die, with all of my problems... I guess we never will know in advance what lies ahead. One of the things my husband said to me (after my mastectomy) was"I would love you even if you had no arms or legs"we had been married for 28 years. So I say to every one... as others have said... Always tell the one you love how much you love them. It does not have to be a special occasion. My husband was on a vent and could not speak, so he taught me in sign language how to say "I love you".I had him brought home , I did not want him to die without seeing me and being with me. He died at home . I have to go now as tears are starting to flow agin. thanks for letting me come here for a few minutes of being in the presence of a fine group of women who really understand how cancer has affected our lives and family.

v-ness 03-19-2010 09:09 PM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
dear charlotte - i am so sorry to hear of this double blow you have suffered. if you want to talk, you can PM. just let me know. my father died 11 months before my husband then died (of cancer), then over 3 years 3 of our long-term cats died, then of course i got diagnosed with this! i understand what it is like to suffer serious blows over and over again. please feel free to write because i found that is one thing that really did help. valerie

VirginiaGirl 03-20-2010 03:57 AM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Charlotte,
I'm so sorry to hear of your losses, such significant ones and so close together. I hear your fear and sadness, and I'm lifting you up in prayer right now, that you may be filled with the love, comfort and strength of God, surrounded by His angels, and peace from knowing you are always safe in His arms.
Peace and Blessings,

Pam P 03-20-2010 04:26 AM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Charlotte - My deepest sympathy goes out to you. The loss of both your mom and dear husband in such a short time is too much to even breathe. Know that I am lifting you up in prayer right now. Pam

undecided8 03-20-2010 04:29 AM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Oh how I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain. My heart is crying for you and what you're going through. I cannot even imagine! If you EVER need anyone to talk to please email me. Day or night! May I ask you where you live, what state? I'm in Illinois. Words cannot even express how sorry I am.
((((((Gentle Hugs))))))
Suzanne

Becky 03-20-2010 05:12 AM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Dear Charlotte

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband and mother. I can't imagine what you are going through as these are the two most important and influential people in most people's lives.

Your husband sounded wonderful and you know he really loved you and will continue to watch over you.

I am thinking about you.

Ellie F 03-20-2010 05:55 AM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Hi Charlotte
I am so sorry to hear of both your losses. It is hard to keep faith sometimes when these things seem to happen in no order with no explanation.
They often seem to happen to really good people as well.

You are in my prayers
Ellie

ammebarb 03-20-2010 07:06 AM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Dearest Charlotte. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Barb A.

Bill 03-20-2010 07:17 AM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Charlotte, I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. Please accept my condolences and prayers. God bless you.

michka 03-20-2010 07:26 AM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Charlotte, I can't even imagine how you are still standing up with what you are going through. A loved mother and a husband are what we have most precious. I am sending you love and hugs. Michka

Unregistered 03-20-2010 09:28 AM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Dear Charlotte,

I am so very sorry for your losses. It seems too much. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers now.

Hugs and Prayers,
Lexi

sassy 03-20-2010 01:01 PM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Charlotte,

My deepest sympathy to you in a time of such profound loss. Please know I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Jackie07 03-20-2010 02:11 PM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Charlotte,

My prayers are with you. "Be strong, and with courage." Come to the Board anytime for anything you feel like to share. We are here for you.

Lien 03-20-2010 02:19 PM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Dear Charlotte,

I am so sorry! That's way too much for one person to handle in such a short period of time. Know that we are here for you. And I am impressed how lovingly you describe their passing, and how you were there for both of them. I just know you made it so much easier for them.

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}


Jacqueline

BonnieR 03-20-2010 02:23 PM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
God bless...

Adriana Mangus 03-20-2010 02:26 PM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Dear Charlotte,


Please accept my condolences --can't imagine what you are going through.

My brother in law died January 16--prostate cancer.. He had a great life and amazing friends who loved him dearly.

We have to remember them for the good times, our loved ones never died. There are many ways to keep them alive--by playing the music they loved, preparing their favorite meals, having friends/relatives to relate their experiences with our loved ones will also bring comfort to you.

I appreciate you coming to our site --this is a peaceful place for you to vent your frustrations. You know you will always find us, we care for one another.


Much love to you.

Adriana

Sheila 03-20-2010 04:52 PM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Charlotte
I cannot imagine enduring all of this....I too have had a rough month or 2, but losing both so quickly had to have been a heavy burden. Please know that we are here for you and you are in our hearts and prayers.

Sherryg683 03-20-2010 07:11 PM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Oh Charlotte, I am so sorry for your recent losses, it can be devistating. You are so right about not knowing when your time comes. About 6 months after I finished all my chemo, my sons best friend, who was also like a second son to me was killed in an automobile accident, he was 18. Me and him were so close and I remember thinking that when I died, I wanted Michael to be one of my pall bearers. It was just unreal for me to be watching them bury this young man before me. It's still painful to think about and all I could think about was "you never know". I also lost my best friend and my brother to cancer within a 3 year period and it just seemed like it was unreal, to keep losing people so close to me. I try to keep telling myself that God has a plan, although it confuses the heck out of me sometime. I guess it's not ours to understand. May he send some angels down to comfort you and get you through this time. I found that at the times when I was suffering the most, was when I felt that certain presence, that I wasn't alone. Please know you are not alone and I am so sorry for your loses so very close to each other...sherry

flynny 03-20-2010 07:12 PM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
I can't imagine what you are going through right now. But I want to send a big hug your way, cause you need one!

Yorkiegirl 03-20-2010 07:45 PM

Re: My mother and Husband have both died in 4 weeks
 
Charlotte I am so very, very sorry for your loss. What a difficult time you are going thru. Many prayers are being said for you.
May God wrap his arms around you and give you much comfort.


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