32 and have some sexual questions please help
 

Hi to everyone. First let's say that I have not been on here in a long time but I was visiting a lot last year. My name is Tricia and I am 32 years old and Jan. 07 I was diagnosed with stage 3c invasive ductual carcinoma 3 tumors all very large in size. Had port placed and started 8 rounds of TCH followed my right side mastectomy and lymphectomy 27 nodes removed and 9 of them positive. I had 34 rounds of radiation, completed the year of herceptin and started my tomaxafin treatment (have been on it about 7 months now). February 2008 I had left side mastectomy with the double tram flap surgery (which was a crazy 8 and a half hour surgery, much harder recovery than I anticipated but it's done now). So here I am today married to a wonderful, supportive, gorgeous guy who is crazy about me. We have three children 10, 10 and 3. We are good together and are attracted to eachother BUT and it's a BIG BUT....... The sex is gone. This saddens me deeply. I have no desire for any sexual activity and our 10 years together before cancer was very sexual. Even when we are engaging in the act it's very very hard for me "to get there". My cancer was Er+ and Pr+ and Her+ so I am sure the hormones or lack of is hugely responsible for this but what can I do??? My Onc tells me I have to be on the Tomaxafin for at least 5 years. I am very grateful to all the medications as I am here and alive but my bones ache terribly, I have gained over 50 pounds (and never have had weight on me like this before) I am tired much of the time, my short term memory is gone and my great sex life is also gone. Now my Husband is a very wonderful man but he seems to think it's more of a mind over matter issue....but it's not. Are there any other medications or anything that I could take or try or look into. ANYONE'S ADVICE WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!!! THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!!! Tricia

I admire you for your honesty. Sex and fertility is a subject that is not talked about enough and from what is written on the subject it is not raised in risk reward assessment for those on the treatment border lines.

You will find quite a few posts here looking the effects of treatment, try using key words such as atrophy, and dryness. Here is one

On mental and bone issues this thread may be of interest.
http://her2support.org/vbulletin/sho...ght=greek+diet

Long chain Omega 3s are essential to brain function.

They also reduce the risk of bone loss.

They also assist with dry eye syndrome. so may assist with dryness.

Please discuss dietary change with your doctor.

RB

Something that helped me
 

I believe this is a common side effect not commonly discussed. I found a product that helped me a lot. It is called "Response-topical sexual arousal cream" by Emerita. It was recommended to me by my naturaupath when I asked for suggestion for lubricants without parabens (suspected carcinogens). It is a natural warming gel/lubricant. The warming helps with the arousal. I got it at a natural foods store, but you can also get it online at Emerita.com. I hope it helps others as much as it has helped me.

"it must have just slipped their mind...."
 

Dear Tricia,

If you have been able to take Marjorie's advice in looking at the Mojo thread I hope it helped, whether for practical advice or even just for understanding that you are certainly not alone in dealing with this.

There is no excuse for care providers who fail to thoroughly discuss this issue before a patient makes a decision about having treatment, so that at least we are more prepared to handle it ourselves and with our partners if we choose treatment.

Perhaps someone who is personally experiencing the problem rather than the "experts" who have not will find a way to restore our libido through caring enough to learn half as much about such factors as pheromones as they think they know about treatments for bc.

Sympathetically,

AlaskaAngel