another wall...
 

On one hand, yesterday was my one year birthday/anniversary of the bone marrow transplant. I am very happy to be here and to have the transplant be considered a success. On the other hand, I received my reports back from my bone and PET scan. The bone scan is clean - yeah!! But, the PET showed 2 new spots on my right lung that are highly consistant with malignancy. The spots are 1.4 x 1.4 cm and 2.9 x 2.6. I have already seen my leukemia onc and bc onc. Tomorrow, I will see my thoracic surgeon to schedule a biopsy. The surgeon will also drain the plural effusion in my right lung that has gotten bigger. I've lived with it, and it hasn't been a problem; but I know he will want to drain and seal the lung again. I have refused to have it drained over the last 3 years (since the first time it was drained/sealed) because they have to collapse the lung. My body has been ravaged enough, and I did not want to chance infection or damaging the lung even further. Besides mets (probable), I've been told the spots could be from an infection (please), a new cancer (ugh - God forbid) or scar (not likely). If it is bc mets, my bc onc will treat me with hormonals until that doesn't work anymore, then go to chemo. If all else fails, my leukemia onc suggested giving me host verses graft disease (again) so that it will become host verses disease and my new immune system will kill off the bc. This can be very dangerous and kill me - great option huh?? So what have I learned this week?? My leukemia onc is very gloom and doom (but I knew that already), but he is smart and thinking ahead. My bc onc and nurse practitioner are the greatest people in the world. They love me and are both upset but not freaking out over this. My onc didn't want to tell me...he says if this is bc then there are plenty of treatment plans to choose from. I have the best family and friends a person can ask for. My friend Liz is just awesome. I don't know if I would have survived without her these past 3 years. So, once again I ask for your prayers. I'll know when the biopsy will be done tomorrow. It may be out-patient (easy), or in-patient (hard). We all know it will be the latter. I usually don't do things the easy way...

Oh, Maryann, sorry to read you've got more possible mets to deal with--after all you've been through already...I will keep you in my prayers and hope for good news from your biopsy results. I'm glad to know that you have a wonderful support system in place to help you through this--you know we're all pulling for you here, too- you're such an inspiration/warrior woman, and you always keep your sense of humor and gratefulness no matter what life throws at you.

Maryann,

I'm praying that those spots are from an infection. You have proven over and over how incredibly strong you are - it makes me so sad and angry to think that you might have to take on yet another battle. I know you'll win it if you have to - just don't want you to think about it for even one second.

All my thoughts and prayers go out to you, Patrice

Oh Maryann,

I'm sad to hear your news. Please know that you will be in my daily prayers. I have always been impressed by your strength and courage and today I am impressed again. You are an amazing women and I'm believing that you will beat this back once more.

Hugs.

You could possibly be one of the strongest people I have ever encountered! All I can say is WOW, and I am in awe of you and your journey. Prayers, prayers, prayers for you and your loved ones.

Hi Maryann,
I'm so sorry to hear this news. You will be in my thoughts tomorrow. Hang in there. There are new easier treatments coming all the time. The trial I am on is very easy to tolerate and it is working for me.
Best regards,
Barbara H.

Dear Maryann,

I am praying for infection, infection, infection! Whatever this brings I know that you will be ok. You are an amazingly strong women and I admire you so much. All my love, prayers and thoughts are with you. I hate cancer so much! All my best my friend.

Hi Maryann! Huge hugs and prayers coming your way! You are strong, smart, and the bestest warrior ever, but I hate that you even have to do the biopsy! I'm praying for a huge miracle, that its the least pain of the options! I'm believing for ya, girl! Tons of love, mary anne

Thinking of you Maryann and hoping its nothing, but in case it is something I know you can beat it easily. Wishing you all the best.

Julie

Maryanne,

Seems strange to pray for infection---but I surely will. You are a strong, determined, beautiful person who is a constant inspiration to many of us. Keeping you at the forefront of my prayers.

thank you Maryann
 

I'm sorry that you have had to deal with sooooooooooo much, thank you for sharing you are such an inspiration to me to stay positive and fight. I will pray for good news for you this week. God bless you Leslie

Dear Sweet Maryann,

I send up prayers for you and a heart that is full of encouragement and love for you. I'm truly sorry you have to encounter yet another "wall" and pray that the "wall" will come tumbling down and there will only be brightness on the other side.

Mary Jo

I'll keep the prayers & good thoughts coming.

Sending you positive thoughts and buckets of prayers. You are an amazingly strong woman. You can beat this. I loved your Halloween essay by the way. I could realate. Hang in there, we are all here for the long haul.

Maryann, so sorry that you are facing a new challenge, but I am sure that you will rise to meet it yet again and deal with this.

You will be in thoughts and prayers as you continue to follow up on this situation.

Dear Maryann ..I will thinking about you tomorrow on my Doc infucion room ...tomorrow I will receive my first treatment from the same trial that our sister Barbara H is doing too ...I will need to much of prayers too .. but I hope so much that is just a beatyfull infection only ....for you tomorow but if is not ..there is many many drogs ...you know that girl !!!!

Good heavens mary ann. you are one mighty warrior woman. I think of you all the time anyway, tonight I'll be hoping you learn tommorrow that this is to be a very minor skirmish.

hang in there

much love
Chris

Awww Maryann

Why can't you just be left alone for 40 or 50 years now. You've gone through more than anyone ever deserves to and then some.

I will be praying for you and thinking about you.

Maryann,
Gee'ss, I wish you did not have to go through this. I will be saying my special prayers to the green lady for you...

Sending you big hugs,
Jean

So sorry to hear your news...just the waiting to see what will happen is hard enough. I hope whatever it is, they just take care of it in just the right way. Hang in there and stay strong. We are all here to support you.