I think your families burden will never be lifted. I think a big empty whole will live in their hearts forever. Losing a loved one is never easy. But I do take your point. My neighbors are in their 70's and their son is mentally disabled (similar to Rainman) he is 40 and he is like a kid. He lives in a group home but it is a heavy cross to carry. He comes home for weekends and has outbursts and they are pretty old to still be going thru this. You make a good point but it is like choosing which evil. Personally I would opt for neither.