I still think someone will wake me up and it's all a bad dream. Until then my story started 18 years ago when I was 30. Found a lump in my breast the size of a walnut! I lucked out it was medullary in situ and a lumpectomy w/rad kept me clear all this time.
Just this April 2003 I went to surgeon for my yearly checkup. No lumps mamogram was great! Next " I visit my ob/gyn. He does a pap and checks my breasts as part of the visit. He says ""I feel a lump"". I promptly say it's impossible" I just had a mamogram and an exam by a breast surgeon and both say I'm clean. He convinces me to get the mamogram report not just the nice little letter that says all is fine. Sure enough birads II. That's all I had to see. Went back to the surgeon for a biopsy. Turns out to be Inv. Ductal. I thought I had it beat no lymph node involvement bone and CT were all ok. Surgeons took a month to schedule O/R for bi-lateral mastectomy and TRAM construction. Right before surgery I had the normal pre-op testing. Chest x ray shows a nodule. Surgeons stay on plan and I get my surgery. Because tumor size > 2 cm. and HER2+ I had to have chemo. X-ray of port insertion and chest x-ray now show 3 nodules. Unfortunatly my surgeon doesn't bother to tell me or my oncologist of these findings. I didn't even know I had a 2nd chest x-ray until I wanted a copy of all my reports. It would have been nice to know before my first fec chemo. Maybe I wouldn't have lost my hair. But it all fell out. Switched hospitals completely and happy with new care but the strategy changed to Herceptin and lots of tests another CT PET Brain MRI Lung Biopsy. Getting results on Friday at my next infusion. Herceptin plus whatever it takes to combat what the tests show. I know it's in my lungs please don't let it be anywhere else. One thing for sure I WILL FIGHT THIS WITH ALL THE STRENGTH I HAVE! I joined the gym and watching my diet. No refined anything complex carbs limited fruits lots of vegies and protein. Absolutely No sugar.

Does anyone else have suggestions on how to keep on going? On the outside I appear to be holding up fine. Just afraid if I start to cry I'll never stop. If I rest I won't get up. Do you know what I mean?

Thanks for listening. Getting it out makes me feel better. I pray for all of us...Carol