Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

Hello to all my her2 "sisters!" It has been a long time since I visited the her2 site and I remember when I couldn't stay away. I remember back when I was so very scared. The initial diagnosis...(June 2005) - Mastectomy number 1 (July 2005) - chemo begins (August 2005) - Herceptin starts (Oct. 2005) - Chemo ends (Nov. 2005) - Radiation begins (Dec. 2005) - Radiation ends (Feb. 2006) - Prophylactic mastectomy other breast (March 2006) - Herceptin ends - (October 2006) - Delayed Bilateral DIEP - (June 2008). Ey yi yi - FEAR?......will it ever end?......will I ever be "normal" again?.......will it come back?.......will I ever not think of cancer?........will I ever trust my body again?..........and on and on and on with the questions and fears.
Now......today.......July 23, 2014......It will be 9 years since my first mastectomy on July 28, 2014. Here are the answers to my questions above.....Fear? - Yes, I had much fear. It took time but the fear leaves as you one day realize God gave you today to live. I decided to live in the "today." I didn't know my tomorrow any more than anyone else did and I surely didn't want to waste "today" on worrying about tomorrow. It took a few years to get to that place, but I did. WILL IT EVER END? Oh how I remember those feelings of everyday being something with cancer....whether it was chemo - radiation - side effects - appointments - whatever, you live it day in and day out and wonder if it will ever end. It does for some of us and in all honesty those days are a vague memory for me. The positives that I took away are what is with me still today. WILL I EVER BE 'NORMAL' AGAIN? - My answer in a nut shell.....oh Lord, I hope I never return to the "normal" before cancer. I have learned so much....God has taught me so much. He has taught me the truly important things in life. I can honestly say that breast cancer was a blessing in my life. That very, very, very tough trial.......helped me get to that place I needed to be. WILL IT COME BACK? I think I thought about recurrence the most in the first 3 years. It was a tough time for me. Each ache and pain scared me into thinking "what if." I never was that kind of person before breast cancer. I was healthy and never sick. I trusted my body completely. Breast cancer showed me that yes, it can happen to you. So recurrence seemed very real to me and I use to think....'well it happened to you once....why not again?' I'm over that thinking now and realize that yes, I may get cancer again....but I also may get a lot of things. No one gets out of this life alive (as it were) - so worrying about recurrence I left by the roadside. :-) WILL I EVER NOT THINK OF CANCER? Well, I think about it.....how can you not. It seems everyone has it. But I don't think about it for me personally anymore. I know it's always a possibility but I'd rather spend my energy trying to encourage and help others and let that go. WILL I EVER TRUST MY BODY AGAIN? - It took a while but I do. I try to take care of myself but realize that I really have no control over my body. I couldn't control the first breast cancer and can't control whatever else will happen. One day at a time.
I was diagnosed at 45 with stage 2B her2/neu positive breast cancer. I now am 54....have 4 grandkids and feel incredibly blessed and changed. All because of breast cancer.
I pray I encouraged and helped someone here.

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

Mary Jo,
I'm glad you have come back to this site with these wonderful words. I don't know you nor you me but these words ring true for so many.
I'm still going through this journey and as you can see from my Signature despite I'm still in the mist of this crap my Doctor has declared me Cancer Free ,she did not say NED she said cancer free and that is how I will live my life. I don't know if my cancer will ever return but I also don't know what tomorrow will bring so for today I live cancer free. I still have rads and infusions and more surgeries but no more cancer.
Thank you so much for this post.

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

Mary Jo thanks for that wonderful post. Not only are you encouraging the new ladies here but giving all of us a reminder of where we have been, what we have been through, how we did it, and how we move forward. Your words ring very true. Lois

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

Hi Mary Jo! How nice to hear from you!!! I, too, am a member of the 9 year club. We have navigated this site, together across cyber-space!! Cancer has also thought me to live in "today". You put it very well, thanks!!! Congrats on 9 years. XOX Suzan

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

I just passed my 2 year mark and apparently needed to hear your words, very encouraging. Fear still grips me from time to time but I don't stay in it. Often times when I hear myself say "I have cancer" (usually to someone else besides myself) it just doesn't seem real. As if I still can't believe that I am living with this disease. I am encouraged by the ladies here with many years behind them and I know that I too will reach a time that fear, doubt, etc will fade and total acceptance will be my new normal. Yes I agree cancer has taught me a lot! A lot of powerful and wonderful things. A new appreciation for even the smallest of moments and things they were soooo important in the past well, they just aren't anymore. In short - loving life and I hoping it will be a long one! You long timers are my heroes!

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

Offering experience, strength and hope is what a support group is all about. Thank you, Mary Jo.

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

MaryJo, I've just celebrated nine years cancer free and still appreciate every day I get and like to offer support to all new members here and also on the susangkomen forums, so glad to still be here to spread the word that her2+ is not always bad news!

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

Mary Jo, a great post. I know we all wish we could speed up the time for newbies to realize they might just live and live a long happy life but everyone gets there in their own time.
A really great post for newbies and even oldies to read
congrats on the grandchildren
hugs and love
sarah

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

Hi thank you for this encouraging message : ) I was diagnosed one year ago this month. I am about complete w/ treatments. Herceptin goes through Sept. and I am just beginning w/ Arimidex. Right now the most bothersome things for me are the taste buds still out of whack ...not able to enjoy eating...and neuropathy in my fingers, toes/feet...fatigue...well I am managing : ) I wonder if food will ever be enjoyable and I will have feeling return to my extremites? Thank you for any thoughts : )

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

Thanks for coming back and sharing with us. I am a newbie, The insight from those of you that have been through this is so valuable!

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

Good seeing you MaryJo! And thanks so much for posting that. You certainly spoke for me
It's a shared experience, this cancer trip. And we take it together from various vantage points
Keep the faith

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

Hi There Mary Jo, Great post! I Remember you well as my Dx was one mo. befrore you! I am so so happy you are well and enjoying your family.
Life is so wonderful beyond BC!! Enjoy .

Re: Wanting to encourage the new her2 sisters.
 

Mary Jo!!!!!!!!!

Glad to hear from you!

Don't be a stranger, even if you are cured we need you on the site, you have been through this before and we need breast cancer survivors like you, to encourage and provide their own input during the chemo treatments, medical appointments, diet, side effects from chemo and all that jazz to our new sisters.

A lot of us continue visiting and helping others with our own experiences during this ordeal. There is no cure for some of us, but treatments for stage IV cancer is better with new drugs and the continued studies for better treatments for breast cancer.

Hope you are enjoying the weather in Wisconsin, is beautiful this time of the year, my husband and I visited this area a few years ago and stayed at Lake Geneva at the original Playboy mansion. We had a great time.

So happy for you Mary Jo. May God provide you with the energy you need to take care of yourself and now enjoy your grandchildren, you are truly blessed. I totally agree with you - the diagnosis of breast cancer has made me a better and happier person, couldn't be more grateful to God for it, it has made appreciate Life in all of its splendor and that's something not too many people will ever be able to enjoy!!!


Grateful for everyday!

Sending you a BIG cyber HUG.

Adriana