Happy Birthday Rhondalea
 

Here's to many more. Hope you have a wonderful day!

Re: Happy Birthday Rhondalea
 

Rhondalea,

Hope you're having a super fantastic day with lots of wine and chocolate!

Carol Ann

Re: Happy Birthday Rhondalea
 

Happy Birthday! Hope you're doing something scandalously fun to celebrate. :)

Re: Happy Birthday Rhondalea
 

Big Happy Birthday wishes to you Rhonda Too!

Re: Happy Birthday Rhondalea
 

Happy Birthday Rhondalea!
Eat some chocolate, it's good for you!

all the best
caya

Re: Happy Birthday Rhondalea
 

Hi, I hope you have a brilliant birthday, and realise how much your help and wisdom is appreciated
Jessica

Re: Happy Birthday Rhondalea
 

Dear Rhondalea,

Happy, happy birthday.

Carpe diem.

Re: Happy Birthday Rhondalea
 

Hope you had a fabulous day!!

Re: Happy Birthday Rhondalea
 

I'd have been here sooner, but my birthday present to me was to take the weekend off from posting/answering email. Nothing scandalous, I fear, but it's a good suggestion, so I'll put it on my list for next year.

I did a bunch of chores I'd been putting off--it felt amazing to have them done, but they're also a reminder of how much is left to do. Upside/downside, isn't that the way of it?

With that preamble, thank you all so much for thinking of me. Especial thanks to you, Becky, for paying attention to birthdays and starting the thread. That was so kind.

So, no wine (never liked it), but chocolate, indeed. I have these lovely organic chocolate caramel truffles, and I ate three of them in a row (three is a serving, but I normally eat only one, and a box lasts a very long time). They were fabulous.

In keeping with the big bites, I skipped the carpe diem and went straight to (as you know) carpe weekend. I may consider carpe(ing) the week next.

I'm not quite yet old enough to be wise, Jessica, but I'm a good googler, and I have Opinions® about nearly everything. The only reason I may approach wisdom one day is that although my Opinions® are forceful, they are subject to change with new information. Now, if only I could learn to have less regret and embarrassment about past failures....

Speaking of which, I offer this as a Hobbit birthday gift to all of you:

Being harder on oneself than anyone else would ever think to be was one of the subjects we covered in the MBSR course (that I still need to post about, and about which I'm quite embarrassed at having failed to do so far, but I'm not battering myself silly about it, and I promise I'll get there).

The instructor pointed out that, to a (wo)man, our self-talk is far harsher than anything we would inflict on another person, ever. I don't recall giving that consideration in the past, but upon reflection, it's pretty obvious. I now endeavor to modulate my tone when, for example, I drop the milk carton and make a puddle all over the floor. Rather than yelling, "you <expletive deleted> idiot," I softly tell myself, "You'll do better next time." It seems even more plausible if I remember to smile.

I realize it's weird that I talk to myself in the third person--out loud, no less--but I've never pretended to be anything but eccentric. :)

Thank you again for thinking of me.

Love,
rl

Re: Happy Birthday Rhondalea
 

I am training to be a Jungian Analyst, so I thought about your comment about talking to yourself.

At the moment we are learning about attachment and the Self/self. I learn that talking to one's self is part of healthy self-mothering self-care. As tiny babies we exist mostly as part of a "conversational relationship" with our mother. Within this conversation we learn all she can teach us about coping with the world, being human within that world, surviving the unbearable, and finding love, peace, joy. And within it and directly through this interaction, our brain develops emotional capacities and emotional regulation.

Our birthmother/lifemother tells and guides us, with words, with body language, with modelling, with mirroring, by getting it right and by getting it wrong. We make an internal working model of an inner mother who carries on being there when our mother is out of sight. And for the rest of our lives, that internal mother (who is part of our inner unconscious self) continues to be the reflective, loving resourceful voice of our own mind and body and of our inner conversation. Gentle, compassionate care of one's own mind, heart, body and soul are woven into it. It calms and encourages and inspires the child part of our mind. It is the part of self we use when we are mindful, compassionate, reflective, self-caring.

When we push aside our habitual self-attack and self-judgement, the inner mother's voice can be heard instead. When we have these self-care conversations aloud to ourselves we are just being a little more concrete than usual. It means we need to hear the self-care words with our ears.

I find that this webpage is often eloquent with resonances of this inner conversational process.

Re: Happy Birthday Rhondalea
 

You are an awesome writer Rhondalea! No matter what your posting about your words flow effortlessly! I do enjoy reading them with all your wit and humor. I do Hope your birthday was lovely. Gods blessings to you. :)