Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I had bilateral mastectomies in Sept. 2008. Though only one breast had DCIS/IDC, I did not trust either one anymore. I feel I made the right decision for me. But it was a difficult decision.

I would like to hear from other women who have had bilateral mastectomies. I am finding that I can't wear some of the blouses or dresses that I used to wear. I wear prosthetic breasts and am kind of getting used to it, but they are a hassle and hot in the summer, but I will not go braless!

Do any of you have ideas, suggestions, or particular brands of bras that you like?

For those of you who have prosthetic breasts, are you considering implants or are you ok with what you have now?

Are the saline implants better than silicone? Are implants painful?

I don't have a cancer breast support group in my area or anyone to talk to who knows how this feels, emotionally and physically.

Would love to hear from you, thanks,

Dianne

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Dianne,

I also had chosen a bilateral mastectomy - same reason as the one you just stated above. I had always been very 'flat', so I am still wearing all my previous 'padded' bras. I know mine is not the answer you are seeking. Hopefully others will see this thread and reply soon.

There might also be some discussion posted previously. You might want to try Searching the old threads with the key words while waiting for new inputs.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Dianne,

I chose to go the bilat mastectomy route for the same reason you did. For me there was never a moment that I did not desire reconstruction. My young, skilled plastic surgeon fashioned new "girls" for me with retention of my breast skin and silicone implants to fill in for the lost breast tissue. He fashioned nipples, too! Nice kid, that pc! They are soft and look pretty, darned good. The nice thing for me is that they are comfortable. Rarely am I conscious of them at all! I will tell you the expanders are not much fun, but once you have the exchange surgery you are really nearly normal!

I suggest you visit BreastCancer.org. They have threads there that deal with all types of breast reconstruction and non-recon issues such as prosthetics. They discuss various types of nipple recon and if you send a PM to "tintam" after visiting the site for a bit (so she knows you are not a lurker) you will be given a password to a private site where women post before and after photos of their recon. I found that site to be very help to me in my decision to proceed with reconstruction and really encourage you to visit it.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Dianne,

I also chose to have a bilateral for similar reasons. I had DIEP reconstruction a year after my mastectomies. I am VERY happy with my reconstructed breasts. I too hated the prosthesis. I am very active and it was a pain (I had one mast at diagnosis and one was done at reconstruction)

There is a breast reconstruction site with lots of info and patient testimonials:

http://breastreconstruction.org/

Wishing you the best in your decisions, they are never easy.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I am in the same situation. STILL have not found a comfortable solution. It is annoying. By day's end I often have pain just from the pressure of undergarments. I would not consider reconstruction but really want a solution. Currently wear Softees alot.....

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Thank you, ladies, for your responses. I don't feel quite so alone now!

I can't have reconstruction where tissue is taken from another part of my body, usually the abdomen, because I have a vertical scar from ovarian surgery and surgeons won't make a horizontal cut because of post surgery healing issues, etc. So my options are to stay with the prosthetics or have silicone implants.

I guess I'm interested in what the expanders are like - sounds like not much fun.

I'd also like to know if lumps can be found as easily after implants? Seems they can be felt easier w/o silicone boobs in the way. What do your docs say about that?

Also....the emotional impact of losing both breasts is overwhelming sometimes, like today when I saw a beautiful nightgown that I considered buying until I realized I didn't have anything to fill out the top part anymore. I almost cried. The influence this is having on my sex life is terrible and the doctors don't discuss this! I don't feel sexy in a nightgown with no boobs. My husband says it doesn't bother him (yeah, right) and that's sweet of him, but it bothers me. That is one of the biggest reasons I am considering in a few years the possibility of implants.

Laurel, you said you had breast reconstruction? You aren't talking about implants, right? How did they do the nipples - I mean, what tissue did they use to make them look realistic? I have heard that the nipple tatoos look pretty good, too....but I don't know.

Anyway thanks for the input and I hope you have a healthy 2010 and a relaxing Christmas season.

Dianne

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I had the bilateral (same reasons) and I don't wear prosthesis and will not have reconstruction. I love going braless! Of course, I'm a dancer, and I live in Eugene, Oregon...a very liberal town, so it's quite acceptable for me to be flat. Most people don't even notice unless they know me or I say something about it. My C/D cups weren't very comfortable for dancing anyway. I did try wearing prosthetics for a little while when I went to my job. They were uncomfortable and embarrassing when they'd get out of position. I just used lightweight foam ones instead of silicone and I liked that. I also got a bra that was cotton lined, not synthetic. That helped too. I've seen swimming prosthetics that have a curved inner surface so there's water or air flow and they're lighter.
I just personally feel that for me reconstruction is too much pain and suffering for not enough reward. It's complicated, and I like to keep things as simple as possible in this complicated life. True, there are some types of clothes I can't wear, but there are a lot that look great, too. I'm proud of what I've accomplished facing this disease, and therefor am proud of my scars, too. I'm still a sexual being and sexyness isn't about what you've got or not got, it's about how you use what you have! Let your spirit shine and those who are paying attention to what really matters will see how beautiful you are.
Best wishes to you, Celeste

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Dianne,

I did have my reconstruction with silicone implants (mentor high profile if I recall correctly). They are very comfortable and never bother me. The only discomfort I have post mastectomy is my axillary scar remains tender.

Again, I strongly urge you to visit BreastCancer.org, another support site where they have several threads ongoing regarding all aspects of breast reconstruction. You will learn a great deal just reading old posts on the site. Very worthwhile, I assure you.

My nipples were recreated with an incision that lifted a flap of skin that was then twirled into a nipple-like ball and sutured down. Last week I had my annual physical with my G.P. She asked if she might see my reconstruction to which I obliged. My G.P. thought my nipples were the real deal and I have not yet gotten them tattooed! She said she just thought I had pale areolas as so many women do. This goes to show you they can make them look pretty dog-goned real looking! I can wear any type of blouse I wish from a low-cut V-neck, to low scoop neck. I've got nice cleavage. No one can tell the difference if you do not share. Seriously.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I had a bilateral and had no reconstruction. I, like Freyja, did not want to complicate an already complicated time with more surgeries, etc. I am very happy with my body and also look at my scars as battle-wounds of the fight for my life. Good luck with your decisions, Dianne~! xo Suzan

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Celeste,

I am amazed at your panache! When you say you are a dancer, what kind of dancer are you? My daughter is an exotic dancer, until she finishes her RN degree. I think it's wonderful that you have a self image and self esteem that allows you to get up in front of people, braless....and not care what they think. You definitely have the right attitude. I think I just need time to come to terms with my 'new' body after having the old one for 55 years :) I don't want reconstruction either - too much pain & I can't have one anyway due to ovarian surgery. I don't think I want implants either, which is much less surgery than recon but still painful. Thank you for your post...you're right about being a sexual being. It's all in how one projects. I'm still trying to figure that out...and not be embarrassed in front of my husband.
Dianne

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Suzan,

You just look like a very happy person from your picture! If implants were needed I'd do it, but for vanity I don't think so. My thinking is that my body has undergone enough, what with the bilats and then chemo. Why stress my immune system more?
I agree, why complicate things - and you look great!
Dianne

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Laurel,

Well, reconstruction won't work for me and I don't want to put myself thru surgery anymore. I am noticing so many women who are so flatchested and they don't seem to care.

I'm glad your surgery was a success - one question about recon breasts - do you have to have mammos now?
Dianne

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I had bilateral mastectomies over 3 years ago and have not had reconstructive surgery. I throw it around in my head every now and then, and I may sometime in the future have something done. For now, I wear silicone prosthetics only when I wear clothes that require boobs. The rest of the time, I have gotten comfortable being flat chested, after alot of self-doubt and frustration. I miss my breasts and the sensuality I felt when I had them, but I have come to realize they didn't define me as a woman or as a human being. I enjoy the freedom to wear them or not wear them. Now, when I do wear them, I am uncomfortable and they get in my way. Im not saying it hasnt been difficult to get to this point. The first year was excruciatingly emotional and the loss of my nipples impacted my sex life tremendously, but if there's a will, there's a way. Adapt and overcome!

I have watched blogs/videos , etc about expanders and they look horribly painful. My best friend also has bilat mast. with expanders that were done wrong (not placed properly) and migrated to her shoulders, so be sure to go to a respectable, experienced surgeon should expanders be a choice for you. Can you not have the TRAM reconstruction? Looks a bit morfe painful, but none of it will be a walk in the park, Im sure

Good luck and best wishes
Stephanie

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Hi Stephanie,

My sister in law's sister had implants done 8 years after her mastectomy, but she was in her early 40's. I guess I feel a bit of a crunch because I am 56. Surgery is hard on the old bod. I don't want to incur more pain and am leaning towards doing nothing at this point. I have heard horror stories, too, of implants gone wrong, even by experienced surgeons. I guess some implants can slip sideways or the body just rejects them.

No, I cannot have TRAM surgery because I have a vertical scar from belly button on down from ovarian surgery. A TRAM would require taking tissue from the belly area, requiring a transverse incision and surgeons don't like to make 'x' type incisions over an existing scar because healing can be a big issue. As well, a TRAM does sound horribly painful. I guess I am not that vain that it's worth the pain.

My sex life has taken a nose dive as well....because I'm not comfortable with this body and miss my nipples, too. My hubby says it doesn't bother him, but what he says and what he is really thinking are two different things. I know he misses them. One thing doctors don't discuss is sexual intimacy after this type of thing. We have been married 17 years now, and I have to be honest - I DO feel like less of a woman. Certainly, breasts don't define me, but they were a big part of being and feeling like a woman. I still have sensation on my chest but scars aren't sexy to me! The thing is, even with implants the scars will still be there. Possibly even a few more to insert the implants.

Thanks for your input. I really appreciate it. I'm still working through all of this, having only been dx in Aug 08.

Dianne

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I had bilateral mastectomies when I was diagnosed in 2000. I did visit a plastic surgeon once but didn't end up having reconstruction. I didn't want to give up the time to surgery, healing etc. I do miss my breasts at times but I knew I wouldn't be getting my breasts back through surgery. I wear prosthetics and a mastectomy bra and get along fine. I have hair that never quite came completely back and have to wear hair pieces and that is more drama for me than the prosthetics. I am used to them after all these years. I own several swim suits that are mastectomy and found them through searching on the internet. I also have a set of swim prosthetics that work quite well.

I don't know if I'm supposed to mention brands on the site so I won't but I have very lightweight prosthetics and they are a major step up from my original ones back in 2000. They seem to be cooler too. I wear a bra that the prosthetic slips into so I have some fabric between my chest wall and the prosthetic as well so that makes it more comfortable. It does take getting used to though. At first it felt so unnatural.

The decisions we have to make aren't always easy that's for sure!

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Marilyn, one of the problems with lightweight prosthetics for me is that they ride up in a bra. Not heavy enough. And the whole thing migrates towards my shoulders! lol. And I find that bras cut into my chest and under my arms. I have not yet found a comfortable solution.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I do all sorts of performance and ballroom dance, mostly modern dance and improvisation (if I was an exotic dancer I might feel differently about the reconstruction issue) and I'm now beginning a career teaching dance improv to people with and without disabilities, with an organization call Danceability International. It's all about embracing our physical differences...so I'm well qualified! I'm glad you're getting so many helpful responses to the thread. There are a lot of us out there, and we all handle it our own way.
Celeste

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Hi Dianne-

Thanks for starting this post--I was out of town and saw it and waited to get home to reply. I do not meet many bilat no recon women--

I also chose to have a bilat-same reasons as you-

I was a DDD-in the bc breast and a DDDD in the 'ok for now' breast I was a DD since age 13 and honestly I am ok with my now flat chest. Honestly for me if it was socially acceptable I would go flat all the time--I do go flat when I am alone or around more liberal people--I live in LA--

I wear prosthesis and yes, they are sometimes a pain and do not look like my natural girls--I chose a D cup and am now much smaller-clothes still look funky but also could be my chemo weight gain--

I do not plan on having reconstruction--I also was concerned that should I get a reoccur I didnt want anything in the way of finding it right away this time--

This is me--this is who I am now--and my breasts never defined me--(as far as I was concerned!!!)--

I am single and yes, this whole issue has occurred to me as something that when I start dating again that will have to be dealt with---all I can say is that it will certainly help me weed out the no-goodknicks---and I will truly find someone interested in the 'inner' me--as there won't be a choice--again--I will deal with that when I start dating--and I get it probably won't be easy--but for now, I have so much other 'stuff' on my plate that I am not thinking about it right now.

There is a website that may interest you

http://breastfree.org/


found it on the wwwbreastcancer.org website

Be well---

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I chose a bilaterial Mast. with immediate reconstruction (haha...what a joke). The TE pressure was very hard to live with and I finally got comfortable about a month before my exchange. After my exchange it was immediate relief and while I healed at 7 weeks the seroma's started until and holes were formed until I had to exchange my implants to a smaller size. Then 3 weeks after with implants that were 1/3 smaller I developed more seromas. After having the holes stitched 3 times I had them removed. There was something wrong though and while it was painful I would have done it again.

Now after reviewing my options with my PS who I just think is wonderful I am having either lower lumbar gap or Sgap in 12 days in NOLA.

I want to ditch the prostetics. I have found finding clothes almost impossible and then I am worried the entire time about my prostetic showing. I am getting more comfortable with my concave chest but I really liked having breast better than without. So when I come back from NOLA I will come back and update :)

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I am part of this club. I go flat. I was a DD before and it feels good to have that wieght off my body. I wear jackets to work or loose fitting tops. I have a prosthesis, but the strap goes across my port. So I go natural and I don't plan on any reconstruction. I am a little uneven...but .. love being braless.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

they go in through your mastectomy scar to insert the implants.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

No reconstruction for me either, at least not yet. Not sure if I'll ever want it - I just don't want to go through another surgery after 3 c-sections, gallbladder removal, and a bilateral mastectomy. I miss my breasts but I'm really fine without them. I don't even own a prosthesis and wear a bra with a soft cup insert that works just fine.

After going through what I went through, I honestly could care less about what other people notice or think. But I do admit that I'm self conscious when people hug me, and also I wonder if some of my work colleagues know or can figure it out.

I used to be very open about my experiences - having a blog, and so on - but tried to make my info online as private as possible because I was tired and frustrated of having people treat me differently because of cancer. I changed jobs and at my new job I can go about my day as normal and be recognized solely for my work rather than be judged and have doubts on whether I can continue to be productive after having cancer.

Since I'm relatively young (40), I may still consider doing a DIEP and finally get rid of my pregnancy belly pouch, but that will take a lot of courage from me that I don't have yet. I think it'd improve my sexual image of myself somewhat, but I can let my mind do the work on that without my breasts.

What amazingly brave women we all are!!!

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I chose bi-lat because mine were relatively large compared to my body. I didn't want reconstruction at the time to complicate the surgery. There is not a moment that I regret this decision. Now I love my body and wear prosthetics when I go out but go bra-less when I am at home. I also dance so small breast size actually fit my life style than before. At least for now, I don't desire reconstruction a bit!

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Had bilateral mastectomies August 2008, bilateral breast cancer. Have not done reconstruction. Due to having radiation my breast surgeon said if I wanted reconstruction it could not be implants, can only be Tram or DIEP. Keep throwing the idea around a little, am pretty used to being flat chested now. I know if I dont have reconstruction I am going to have a tattoo of pretty pink blossoms winding down from the shoulder to top of chest. I figure that would look quite pretty in a bathing suit. Anyway I have thought about DIEP and sometimes the pictures look very good other times not so much. I tend to think I will probably end of going with the beautiful Japanese blossoms. Lois

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I'm so glad that I ran across this thread! Thank you, EVERYONE! Reading your posts, I'm sure I did the right thing for myself. I'll be 62 this year. I had a bilateral mastectomy in May of 2002, followed by chemo, radiation, and 5 years of Tamoxifen. My partner makes Essiac tea for me and has the whole time since surgery. We met just before I was diagnosed, and he went to every chemo and radiation session. I think the love, care, and laughter that we share has had a lot to do with my "cancer-free" status today.

I've always kind of joked about "regaining my girlish figure" through surgery, but there have been times that I have given the idea of reconstructive surgery a lot of thought. A co-worker had BC and had silicone implants and had a very uncomfortable time through it all, having them replaced. I'm with the enough is enough camp! I have a "fleet" of silicone prosthesis, but rarely wear them... more comfortable without bras, as they irritate scar tissue and where my Jackson-Pratt drains were.

***There are prosthesis that adhere with velcro to a triangle piece of fabric that you glue to your chest with "medical grade glue"(?). I've tried these and they are actually pretty good, as they move with you like real breasts. The triangle fabric can be left on the chest for several days, too. You can wear regular bras, too.***
Maybe I'm lazy :-) I've gotten used to not wearing any prosthesis. I'm a complete woman as I am. Not "less than" because I do not have breasts!

I am still sensitive as to not having "the girls" as you've called them in certain circumstances. I had to ask my son to take some photos off Facebook, as I'd worn a top that showed a little too much when I leaned over! But, all-in-all, what matters most is that I'm still "onboard" and can enjoy friends and family (w/ 3 beautiful grandchildren!) Next year will be 10 years. Yay! I wish all of you well. Love & Gratitude -- Debbi

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I had a mastectomy last year and had a prophylactic mastectomy and double reconstruction on Tuesday, am in a lot of pain currently, but even thought I'm very swollen at the moment the results are good so far and am glad I put myself through it!

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

By the way, I went for a straight forward reconstruction of silicone implants, didn't have enough skin/flesh to make two new boobs, apparently!

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Since this thread is reactivated, I thought I would take the opportunity to tell you about my latest and BEST solution to the prostheses and uncomfortable bra situation. I recently discovered COOBIE BRAS. They are the most comfortable things! They are one size fits all, believe it or not, and have very small inserts so that the result is to look like you have small curves. Enough to not feel totally flat. They come in very cool colors. Good to wear around the house or as a sleep top. I have worn mine in the pool. Google Coobie Bras. I saw them originally in a Fresh Produce clothing store.
So happy to have found a solution!
Keep the faith.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Hello, I thank God that there is this site. I am a newbie here. I am lucky to have an amazing sister who led me to this group. Eleven days ago, I underwent a bilateral mastectomy.. it was an elective procedure on the left for peace of mind and symmetry :) Just yesterday, my JP drains were removed..yay! I have a wonderfully caring husband who has always been at my side since I got my diagnosis. We've been married for 15 years now and I know for a fact that hubby though is quite sensitive to the sight of scars, etc...so much so that I haven't shown my excisional scars to him since the surgery. I do hope we get through this phase of awkwardness, the only questions are how and when. We've always enjoyed our intimate moments. Any ideas, experiences to share? I was quite timid to ask this of my surgeon. Anyways, we were offered immediate reconstruction which I didn't buy into because the thought of longer healing and delay of further treatment was not appealing at all. Truthfully, when I saw myself in the mirror after surgery, I was not horrified but surprisingly calm with the only thought in my head that this will help to cure me. I can't also see myself wearing prosthetics in the immediate future...don't see how comfortable that will be in my country's climate. As for reconstruction in the future, just the mere thought of more surgeries is enough for me to put that idea in the back burner. This has gone on long now. Thanks to you all. Reading what you sisters post here is more than enough to inspire and invigorate me as I start my own journey in battling this disease. God's blessings to us all.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I had a double mastectomy and was very comfortable with the decision. My surgeon was adamant that I have both breasts removed and I eventually agreed after a few days of thought. I had planned on silicone implants but then I had to undergo radiation so was very concerned about the end result. It took me a great deal of time to decide to go ahead. My ps was not keen on tissue transfer as he felt too much could go wrong with a double transfer. He suggested implants despite the fact that I had had radiation. I would not have gotten breasts if I had had to do the tissue transfer as I wanted as little surgery as possible and no more scars. I was not really uncomfortable with the look of prosthetics but found them hot and they bothered my skin. I found I often went flat chested because my skin would rash so easily. I have to say I did not like the flat look and found with prosthetics I had to be very careful in my choice of clothes. I went ahead with the surgery as the ps thought my skin was in great shape (I took care of it like you would not believe during radiation) and I have not looked back. I did not have to go the expander route as the mastectomy surgeon saved a lot of skin. I went direct to small silicone implants just so I could have breasts and figured my body would handle small best. I am pleased with the results, not perfect but I have breasts and can wear anything I want. I love looking down and seeing flesh as opposed to the prosthetic sneaking out of the top of the bra. I am still shy about them with my husbnad but getting over that. My nipples will be fashioned from a skin graft and I won't even need anesthetic to do the operation. I have waited a long time for that surgery as I want everything to be healed and as good as it can be (will be done Nov 2011). I understand that it is easier to do examinations with implants (no mammograms) as it pushes the whole area out and any imperfections are evident. I was also told that the results are more predictable and often more successful with silicone as opposed to saline. I probably will not bother with tattoos for the nipples and will be content with nipples of any sort. I feel a need to complete the process now and have something in the centers of the breasts rather than just breast mounds. Best of luck with your decision. Carolyn

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I had a bilateral mastectomy 7 yrs ago. I chose not to have reconstruction and I don't wear prosthetics. I gained a lot of weight during chemo and have a terrible time losing any at all - - so my body looks terrible. the people who love me still do, but I do wish there were clothes I could wear that didn't have big gaps in the front where boobs are supposed to be. I can't go to a wedding this weekend due to '"black tie" and I cannot find a cocktail dress in a size 22 (for the waist down) with no huge gaping front. Is there anywhere anyone knows of for clothing with a flatter front that aren't for men?

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Nancyo, I too had a double mastectomy. I eventually did opt for reconstruction but waited a goodly amount of time before making that decision. I have no regrets, however. I was not comfortable with prosthetics and mostly went flat chested in the years before reconstruction. I did however have one bra and my two prosthetics for just the occasions you describe. When I wanted to dress up out came the bra and prosthetics. It is easy enough to get them and it might be something you want in your drawer to bring out when the occasion necessitates it. Otherwise the dresses looked just as you say. It was part of the dress up, nice clothes, a bra with prosthetics, along with makeup for those few times I wanted to truly look nice and pass for 'normal'. Good luck. Carolyn

clothing issues
 

thanks, Carolyn for your kind words. - for my neice's wedding June, 2011, I did opt to get the prosthetics out and one was leaking. I was quite unhappy because I had paid a good amount for them and 3-4 bras and hadn't worn them much and cared for them well.(I know it's covered under insurance, but there is still the co-pay and deductible to consider) At that time, I could wear a spring skirt and a knit top and not look too bad ( I personally don't care how I look in general ) but for this "black tie" wedding, I don't have anything - I'm not the cocktail dress type - and in order to get something that fits the bottom the top is tremendously too big and I'd never wear it again. I'm glad I'm alive and glad that up until now, this hasn't been an issue - and I won't let it become one now. - Nancy O

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Nancy, I just went with a local shop that sold a beanbag affair for my prosthetics. I never did the 'real' things. I am sure there is something local that would be available. Seeing as you already have the bra, even socks or cotton batting would do for stuffing. There must be/has to be a type of dress that could be made smaller on the top for you or isn't huge on the top to begin with. There are lots of women that are not large breasted. It is a dilemma for sure. Good luck!!

Any other ideas out there ladies? Nancy, maybe start a new thread rather than using this old one as I suspect we don't read to the end of these old postings as regularly as looking at new subjects. I know you will get more women responding if you start a new thread. Give it a whirl.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Hi Nancy,

I'm glad you posted to this string. For all the months I have been on this site, I hadn't read these stories until now. I have often wondered how many others are out there like me...

I had a bi-lateral mastectomy in Sept 09. Due to my diagnosis, my surgeon and my onc told me to focus on treatment and worry about reconstruction later on if I was interested. I did nothing for about a year and then decided to get prostetics. I generally don't care what I look like around town and really only got them for the dress-up occasions and business trips (I work from home but do travel to an office from time to time and didn't want people focusing on anything but my business ideas).

Not wearing foobs (or having reconstruction) has limited my clothing options but I have found a few options that I like and that I still feel somewhat stylish in. In fact, I wear them so little that my kids and I joke that I'm going to play dress-up when I do wear my 'foobs'. I also find I feel uncomfortable when I do wear them since it's so infrequent.

You mentioned that insurance copays, etc might be too much to deal with. I do want you to know that I have a friend who had a mastectomy who also faced that challenge. She ended up going to Nordstrom's and buying something similar (without a prescription) - she calls them her 'chicken cutlets' (yes, they kind of look like a chicken breast!). It was a low cost solution for her to be able to wear fitted clothing and feel good in dress-up situations. I have heard that specialty lingerie stores also sell something similar if you don't have a Nordstrom's in your area.

Good luck finding something that works for you. I'm sure whatever you decide you will look lovely at the wedding ~ Jen