Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I am part of this club. I go flat. I was a DD before and it feels good to have that wieght off my body. I wear jackets to work or loose fitting tops. I have a prosthesis, but the strap goes across my port. So I go natural and I don't plan on any reconstruction. I am a little uneven...but .. love being braless.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

they go in through your mastectomy scar to insert the implants.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

No reconstruction for me either, at least not yet. Not sure if I'll ever want it - I just don't want to go through another surgery after 3 c-sections, gallbladder removal, and a bilateral mastectomy. I miss my breasts but I'm really fine without them. I don't even own a prosthesis and wear a bra with a soft cup insert that works just fine.

After going through what I went through, I honestly could care less about what other people notice or think. But I do admit that I'm self conscious when people hug me, and also I wonder if some of my work colleagues know or can figure it out.

I used to be very open about my experiences - having a blog, and so on - but tried to make my info online as private as possible because I was tired and frustrated of having people treat me differently because of cancer. I changed jobs and at my new job I can go about my day as normal and be recognized solely for my work rather than be judged and have doubts on whether I can continue to be productive after having cancer.

Since I'm relatively young (40), I may still consider doing a DIEP and finally get rid of my pregnancy belly pouch, but that will take a lot of courage from me that I don't have yet. I think it'd improve my sexual image of myself somewhat, but I can let my mind do the work on that without my breasts.

What amazingly brave women we all are!!!

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I chose bi-lat because mine were relatively large compared to my body. I didn't want reconstruction at the time to complicate the surgery. There is not a moment that I regret this decision. Now I love my body and wear prosthetics when I go out but go bra-less when I am at home. I also dance so small breast size actually fit my life style than before. At least for now, I don't desire reconstruction a bit!

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Had bilateral mastectomies August 2008, bilateral breast cancer. Have not done reconstruction. Due to having radiation my breast surgeon said if I wanted reconstruction it could not be implants, can only be Tram or DIEP. Keep throwing the idea around a little, am pretty used to being flat chested now. I know if I dont have reconstruction I am going to have a tattoo of pretty pink blossoms winding down from the shoulder to top of chest. I figure that would look quite pretty in a bathing suit. Anyway I have thought about DIEP and sometimes the pictures look very good other times not so much. I tend to think I will probably end of going with the beautiful Japanese blossoms. Lois

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I'm so glad that I ran across this thread! Thank you, EVERYONE! Reading your posts, I'm sure I did the right thing for myself. I'll be 62 this year. I had a bilateral mastectomy in May of 2002, followed by chemo, radiation, and 5 years of Tamoxifen. My partner makes Essiac tea for me and has the whole time since surgery. We met just before I was diagnosed, and he went to every chemo and radiation session. I think the love, care, and laughter that we share has had a lot to do with my "cancer-free" status today.

I've always kind of joked about "regaining my girlish figure" through surgery, but there have been times that I have given the idea of reconstructive surgery a lot of thought. A co-worker had BC and had silicone implants and had a very uncomfortable time through it all, having them replaced. I'm with the enough is enough camp! I have a "fleet" of silicone prosthesis, but rarely wear them... more comfortable without bras, as they irritate scar tissue and where my Jackson-Pratt drains were.

***There are prosthesis that adhere with velcro to a triangle piece of fabric that you glue to your chest with "medical grade glue"(?). I've tried these and they are actually pretty good, as they move with you like real breasts. The triangle fabric can be left on the chest for several days, too. You can wear regular bras, too.***
Maybe I'm lazy :-) I've gotten used to not wearing any prosthesis. I'm a complete woman as I am. Not "less than" because I do not have breasts!

I am still sensitive as to not having "the girls" as you've called them in certain circumstances. I had to ask my son to take some photos off Facebook, as I'd worn a top that showed a little too much when I leaned over! But, all-in-all, what matters most is that I'm still "onboard" and can enjoy friends and family (w/ 3 beautiful grandchildren!) Next year will be 10 years. Yay! I wish all of you well. Love & Gratitude -- Debbi

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I had a mastectomy last year and had a prophylactic mastectomy and double reconstruction on Tuesday, am in a lot of pain currently, but even thought I'm very swollen at the moment the results are good so far and am glad I put myself through it!

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

By the way, I went for a straight forward reconstruction of silicone implants, didn't have enough skin/flesh to make two new boobs, apparently!

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Since this thread is reactivated, I thought I would take the opportunity to tell you about my latest and BEST solution to the prostheses and uncomfortable bra situation. I recently discovered COOBIE BRAS. They are the most comfortable things! They are one size fits all, believe it or not, and have very small inserts so that the result is to look like you have small curves. Enough to not feel totally flat. They come in very cool colors. Good to wear around the house or as a sleep top. I have worn mine in the pool. Google Coobie Bras. I saw them originally in a Fresh Produce clothing store.
So happy to have found a solution!
Keep the faith.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Hello, I thank God that there is this site. I am a newbie here. I am lucky to have an amazing sister who led me to this group. Eleven days ago, I underwent a bilateral mastectomy.. it was an elective procedure on the left for peace of mind and symmetry :) Just yesterday, my JP drains were removed..yay! I have a wonderfully caring husband who has always been at my side since I got my diagnosis. We've been married for 15 years now and I know for a fact that hubby though is quite sensitive to the sight of scars, etc...so much so that I haven't shown my excisional scars to him since the surgery. I do hope we get through this phase of awkwardness, the only questions are how and when. We've always enjoyed our intimate moments. Any ideas, experiences to share? I was quite timid to ask this of my surgeon. Anyways, we were offered immediate reconstruction which I didn't buy into because the thought of longer healing and delay of further treatment was not appealing at all. Truthfully, when I saw myself in the mirror after surgery, I was not horrified but surprisingly calm with the only thought in my head that this will help to cure me. I can't also see myself wearing prosthetics in the immediate future...don't see how comfortable that will be in my country's climate. As for reconstruction in the future, just the mere thought of more surgeries is enough for me to put that idea in the back burner. This has gone on long now. Thanks to you all. Reading what you sisters post here is more than enough to inspire and invigorate me as I start my own journey in battling this disease. God's blessings to us all.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I had a double mastectomy and was very comfortable with the decision. My surgeon was adamant that I have both breasts removed and I eventually agreed after a few days of thought. I had planned on silicone implants but then I had to undergo radiation so was very concerned about the end result. It took me a great deal of time to decide to go ahead. My ps was not keen on tissue transfer as he felt too much could go wrong with a double transfer. He suggested implants despite the fact that I had had radiation. I would not have gotten breasts if I had had to do the tissue transfer as I wanted as little surgery as possible and no more scars. I was not really uncomfortable with the look of prosthetics but found them hot and they bothered my skin. I found I often went flat chested because my skin would rash so easily. I have to say I did not like the flat look and found with prosthetics I had to be very careful in my choice of clothes. I went ahead with the surgery as the ps thought my skin was in great shape (I took care of it like you would not believe during radiation) and I have not looked back. I did not have to go the expander route as the mastectomy surgeon saved a lot of skin. I went direct to small silicone implants just so I could have breasts and figured my body would handle small best. I am pleased with the results, not perfect but I have breasts and can wear anything I want. I love looking down and seeing flesh as opposed to the prosthetic sneaking out of the top of the bra. I am still shy about them with my husbnad but getting over that. My nipples will be fashioned from a skin graft and I won't even need anesthetic to do the operation. I have waited a long time for that surgery as I want everything to be healed and as good as it can be (will be done Nov 2011). I understand that it is easier to do examinations with implants (no mammograms) as it pushes the whole area out and any imperfections are evident. I was also told that the results are more predictable and often more successful with silicone as opposed to saline. I probably will not bother with tattoos for the nipples and will be content with nipples of any sort. I feel a need to complete the process now and have something in the centers of the breasts rather than just breast mounds. Best of luck with your decision. Carolyn

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

I had a bilateral mastectomy 7 yrs ago. I chose not to have reconstruction and I don't wear prosthetics. I gained a lot of weight during chemo and have a terrible time losing any at all - - so my body looks terrible. the people who love me still do, but I do wish there were clothes I could wear that didn't have big gaps in the front where boobs are supposed to be. I can't go to a wedding this weekend due to '"black tie" and I cannot find a cocktail dress in a size 22 (for the waist down) with no huge gaping front. Is there anywhere anyone knows of for clothing with a flatter front that aren't for men?

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Nancyo, I too had a double mastectomy. I eventually did opt for reconstruction but waited a goodly amount of time before making that decision. I have no regrets, however. I was not comfortable with prosthetics and mostly went flat chested in the years before reconstruction. I did however have one bra and my two prosthetics for just the occasions you describe. When I wanted to dress up out came the bra and prosthetics. It is easy enough to get them and it might be something you want in your drawer to bring out when the occasion necessitates it. Otherwise the dresses looked just as you say. It was part of the dress up, nice clothes, a bra with prosthetics, along with makeup for those few times I wanted to truly look nice and pass for 'normal'. Good luck. Carolyn

clothing issues
 

thanks, Carolyn for your kind words. - for my neice's wedding June, 2011, I did opt to get the prosthetics out and one was leaking. I was quite unhappy because I had paid a good amount for them and 3-4 bras and hadn't worn them much and cared for them well.(I know it's covered under insurance, but there is still the co-pay and deductible to consider) At that time, I could wear a spring skirt and a knit top and not look too bad ( I personally don't care how I look in general ) but for this "black tie" wedding, I don't have anything - I'm not the cocktail dress type - and in order to get something that fits the bottom the top is tremendously too big and I'd never wear it again. I'm glad I'm alive and glad that up until now, this hasn't been an issue - and I won't let it become one now. - Nancy O

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Nancy, I just went with a local shop that sold a beanbag affair for my prosthetics. I never did the 'real' things. I am sure there is something local that would be available. Seeing as you already have the bra, even socks or cotton batting would do for stuffing. There must be/has to be a type of dress that could be made smaller on the top for you or isn't huge on the top to begin with. There are lots of women that are not large breasted. It is a dilemma for sure. Good luck!!

Any other ideas out there ladies? Nancy, maybe start a new thread rather than using this old one as I suspect we don't read to the end of these old postings as regularly as looking at new subjects. I know you will get more women responding if you start a new thread. Give it a whirl.

Re: Bilateral mastectomy support group
 

Hi Nancy,

I'm glad you posted to this string. For all the months I have been on this site, I hadn't read these stories until now. I have often wondered how many others are out there like me...

I had a bi-lateral mastectomy in Sept 09. Due to my diagnosis, my surgeon and my onc told me to focus on treatment and worry about reconstruction later on if I was interested. I did nothing for about a year and then decided to get prostetics. I generally don't care what I look like around town and really only got them for the dress-up occasions and business trips (I work from home but do travel to an office from time to time and didn't want people focusing on anything but my business ideas).

Not wearing foobs (or having reconstruction) has limited my clothing options but I have found a few options that I like and that I still feel somewhat stylish in. In fact, I wear them so little that my kids and I joke that I'm going to play dress-up when I do wear my 'foobs'. I also find I feel uncomfortable when I do wear them since it's so infrequent.

You mentioned that insurance copays, etc might be too much to deal with. I do want you to know that I have a friend who had a mastectomy who also faced that challenge. She ended up going to Nordstrom's and buying something similar (without a prescription) - she calls them her 'chicken cutlets' (yes, they kind of look like a chicken breast!). It was a low cost solution for her to be able to wear fitted clothing and feel good in dress-up situations. I have heard that specialty lingerie stores also sell something similar if you don't have a Nordstrom's in your area.

Good luck finding something that works for you. I'm sure whatever you decide you will look lovely at the wedding ~ Jen