Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Dear Friends:

I just wanted to share a few thoughts the day after Colleen's last Herceptin infusion. She is officially N.E.D. with a prognosis of a long and healthy life. I would say she kicked cancer's fat butt, but taunting the cancer weevils is bad karma, so I won't even bring that subject up.

Looking back on it all the most interesting feeling I have on the cancer experience was that it seems like an easier journey in the rear-view mirror. There were some pretty dark days but they passed quickly. Going into treatment, in contrast, it seemed like the treatment would be an unending and difficult journey.

The only thing she has left to endure is removal of the port and a lifetime of heightened vigilance. Or at least I hope so. The nagging doubt is a residual that I hope will ebb with time. Getting rid of the port is going to be a bigger milestone for me. I hate that thing.

When Colleen was in surgery to have her lymph nodes removed, the surgeon found that all eighteen of the lymph nodes were swollen. Because of that, he installed a double port for end of life treatment, assuming that she was surely advanced Stage 4 cancer. It turned out that she had an infection because of the initial needle biopsy which caused the swelling and she only had 3 lymph nodes with cancer in them.

After the surgery, the surgeon took me into a private room and told me that Colleen had a gravely serious cancer problem and that getting her affairs in order may be a smart thing to do while she was still able to help me. That two weeks between the surgery and the next appointment with the surgeon were absolutely awful. I didn't tell Colleen about the conversation with the surgeon because he said there could be other reasons the lymph nodes were swollen, but it looked real bad.

In the end, Colleen said that the whole experience, although frightening and at times painful, was a growth experience which she wouldn't trade, although she would never want to go through this again.

I also think Colleen and I are closer than ever. We have always been great friends and soulmates, but somehow we cherish each other just a little bit more.

Anyways, enough of the self-indulgent mushy stuff. Colleen feels that she is now at an important milestone and we will celebrate that milestone, but for me, it isn't over till she gets rid of that damn port.

Lee

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Hi, Lee,

First congratulations on getting past the Herceptin. It's a friend that brought us comfort while we were in its company--and, yeah, a little frightening to say good-bye. The period of vigilance is hard to get used to--but as each three month check up finds us still NED we get used to the idea, that we just may beat this thing.
One thing I said when I first got sick was, "Even with bad luck, you need luck"--and I think that the fact that the two of you were able to see the positive side of facing this trial together is that "luck".
I know that my husband and I became even closer than we thought possible. We've been together 42 years--and facing the big C made every day even more precious.
I'm praying we have no more "trials" to bring us close, but I do know that I have who to rely on for whatever comes.
I am sure that Colleen does too.
All the best to the both of you--and may you to continue to enjoy each and every day.

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Hi Lee, congrats to Colleen too on getting through to the final herceptin. I know my own first few months after were filled with often dark thoughts and concerns waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thankfully, it has'nt so far and I can say for sure, the confidence grows with each month that passes.
I'm always amazed too that although the whole treatement process was a nightmare at that time, I forget so many details of it now...which can only be a good thing:)
It's made me realize how resiliant we really are!
My best to you both as you go forward and I hope herceptin has worked it's wonders for Colleen as it has for so many:)

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

I am very happy for you. Congratulations !!!!!!!! A long, healthy and cancer free life to you !!

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Hi Lee. Ending treatment is such a time of mixed feelings, isn't it? There is the relief and joy that a physically difficult time is finished, all mixed in with a bit of apprehension about stopping "active battle". There is a new appreciation and awareness of living and of loving along with a new understanding of mortality. It took me many years to see any positive upshot from my cancer experience, but eventually I did. And, like Colleen, I don't want to do it again!

Hoping she can soon be rid of the "damn port" and then begin to look forward to a very loooooong, healthy life! My best to both of you.

Barb A.

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Lee and Coleen,

Congratulations on the finishing of Herceptin and the port removal.

Amelia

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Congratulations to Colleen and the end of her Herceptin treatments. May you both enjoy the results!! XO Suzan

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Lee,

Good observations. This is helpful perspective for others - especially the "rear view" being easier part.

Here's to many more years of it being in the rear view mirror...but unlike driving a moving vehicle, I hope you'll find it's not necessary to check it constantly in the future!

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Lee, what wonderful news! You can make a major update to the "this happened to Colleen" list!!!
I know you have all earned a break from Cancerland but I hope you will keep visiting the board. You bring wisdom and a unique perspective to the site.
Keep the faith!
Best, Bonnie

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Congratulations, Lee and Colleen. I didn't realize we were both at such similar moments. I just had my last Herceptin and will have my port removed September 11th! I feel the SAME way. Things feel a whole lot better now than when this crap started. Even though I had a horrible day at work today, at least I'm able to work now, and getting the port pulled out is going to be so cathartic! Although I'm glad I had it for the purpose it fulfilled, it makes me feel like a robot or something. In fact, the anesthesiologist told me that when I was high on gas and the surgeon was installing it, I said to them, "I feel like my husband's motorcycle!" My husband will not let me forget that I said that.
Anyway, cheers to us for getting rid of our spare parts.
Celeste

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Hi Lee,

Thanks for sharing and getting all "mushy" with us. Us girls love that kind of thing! Hehe!

On a more serious note now.............I am so happy for you guys. GIDDY with happiness, ESPECIALLY after reading the part about the swollen lymph nodes. OH MY GOSH ...... how horrible that time had to be for you. I can only imagine.

Give Colleen a big ole hug from me, would ya? Then tell her to give you a big ole hug from me through her to you. Ummmm....well, something like that.

Hugs all around.....

Mary Jo

P.S. Thanking God that this part of your journey has ended AND that all is well. Ahhhh!

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

YEAH A BIG CONGRATS to Colleen on last Herceptin. I know you both are just thrilled to have this all done and over with.

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

WooHoo! Congrats to Colleen.

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Lee,
Thank you for sharing these deep and enduring feelings with us. Today is Cap and my 33rd anniversary so your post held even greater meaning for us. Please give Colleen our love and congratulations tonight. You have both been an inspiration to all of us. Great, great news...Now on with the living!
Love,
Vickie

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Lee,

Congratulations to Colleen on finishing Herceptin.

Joan

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

That is one milestone I am looking forward to passing. Wish the two of you much happiness.

Sandra

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Congrats to Colleen for her last Herceptin, and to Lee for being the wonderful support throughout the entire journey.

all the best
caya

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Congratulations! Colleen and Lee.

Does Colleen know you are on this Board supporting her?

Does she know that you sometimes sign your name as 'Evil Lee'?
(or someone call you by that name? :)

You, Bill, and Joe all deserve a best supporting spouse medal...

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Congratulations to you and Colleen, Lee! Thanks for helping all of us here, and thanks for being you. Good luck with the port removal.

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Congratulations to Colleen (and you) on reaching this milestone. You have been been a tremendous support to Colleen and all of us here. I hope you continue to visit and contribute - we wouldn't be the same without you.

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Lee, your post reminded me of the terrible scare my husband and kids had after my bi-lateral mast. I had my surgery at the hospital where I work in surgery dept. There are a few perks to this, picking your surgery team, having everyone check things twice because they know you personally, etc. One of the downfalls was that my cousin Gary, an RN in Post Op who was my nurse arranged for my family to see me in post op after surgery. He sent another staff member to get my husband and kids out of the waiting room. They had no idea why they were summond and of course feared the worst, only to find out that I had come out of surgery just fine. I don't remember the vist at all, but Jeff still talks about how he thought he was losing me and how scared he was. Sometimes the caregivers have a heavier load to bear than the cancer SUVIVORS. You and Colleen have all my love and best wishes for nothing but happy times ahead. Peace Karen

Re: Colleen's Last Herceptin
 

Dear Lee

It seems that all this has gone by so quickly - now it is done and a new life will begin again, fresh and renewed in many, many ways.

Hopefully this does not mean that you will disappear completely. You have brought much to this group - games, jokes, laughter and fun. I pray we have all helped you as you have helped us.

Go forth and have fun