~Any Lawyers In The House??~
 

Pardon me for supplying you with more of my drama, especially with everyone's personal battles. I did not know where to put this, I need responses asap and am totally embarrassed to share this with you all.

As you may know, my grandmonster has raised my rent ($100-$125 per month) thinking that I got money from my Mother-in-Law. I think you know me well enough to respect my feelings that she is an awful person. I am not in a position to have my rent raised right now and would feel so better if she said the economy has forced her to raise it. As frugal and money saving as I am, I am swamped with medical payment commitments. If I had to I would need to pay this but she is being unfair and that appears to me to be an unreasonable rent increase to me.

I will continue to pay my original rent in the meantime w/o adding the raise. I have seen her controlling self evict my cousin, her Angel for most of her life. She will have no problem evicting us, she even mentioned she did not care Ed was dying. Do human beings really talk like this????

I want my husband to die in the home we shared our entire marriage at, I will move after that if I need to. Of course he is disabled and I have tried to research on my own to check his rights. Seems like my mind can not understand the technical part of what is happening and I need guidance.

I do not have that much time to spare and realize that if I sign the lease (yes, she makes me sign a lease) that it will be another commitment. I do not want to make a war out of this but I do want what is fair. Rather than feel bad for me I need you all to send me off in the right direction. I am so sad, this is one more time she proves she does not feel anything for me. This is control, spite and hatred brewing again.>>Believe51

PS: I cried reading all of your warm posts for me before starting this. Your love balances my life. People I may never meet love me more than my blood. I cannot tell you how you make my life so wonderful. You all call me courageous and strong, well please know you have helped me to continue to grow and blossom through all the darkness and rain. I love you.

You need to contact RI Legal Services or RI Fair Housing.
It is illegal to discriminate against disabled persons - it is not clear to me whether raising your rent in an effort to get you to move would be considered discrimination (but it sounds like it may be - I am a lawyer but this is a bit out of my area). Also, be aware that it takes quite a while to evict someone; in terms of signing a lease, there are rules in RI in terms of how long in advance you were given notice of the rent increase (I think in RI it is at least 30 days on a year lease and maybe more if the prior lease says so).
You have my email, feel free to drop me a note -
hang in. I am so sorry you are dealing with this on top of everything else.

~Any Lawyers In The House??~
 

I am not a lawyer, but I think Joe posted something about disability rights. If you can look for that post and go to that website mentioned I wonder if you might find something to help you sort through the rent issue.
Do they have a Legal Aid Society or an organization that helps people deal with landlord/tenant issues in your area?
Good luck to you and Ed. Hugs.

Marie,
Is there any way that you can just put her off, not respond, ignore her? Is she sending you things by mail or just telling you of the raise? If possible here's a few suggestions to try to put her on the side burner (forever).
1. If she has not put anything in writing, say very kindly and sadly "Oh Granny, I am so desperately overwhelmed with caring for Ed. I'm hoping that a friend will be helping me to manage our household duties soon. By the way, granny, that reminds me that the accountant now needs EVERYTHING in writing. I'm sure you understand since you are one of the wisest woman we know.

AND/OR

2. Oh Granny, we are just so overwhelmed right now. Can we pick up this conversation the week after next? Once I get Ed settled down I'll have a moment to think straight and start to deal with things that are non-life threatening. Right now we are in crisis mode. I know you understand.

3. In 2 weeks, start again with #1 above. In other words, give her less head space, and say what you need to in order to make it work for you. Spin it, control it, pretend she's an annoying doctor and take the personal disbelief at how she doesn't even love her own grandkids. How sad for her that her life is so messed up that YOUR RENT is her focus. Maybe she can't deal with losing Ed or seeing him so sick in his battle? I bet you are clever enough to work it in your favor without putting any more energy into lawyering up.
xoxo Flori

no advice, just sending an "ugh" for grandmonster and a "hug" to you!

My son-in-law is an attorney and though he is unclear regarding RI legal issues involving tenant-landlord disputes, he has suggested that you contact a tenant rights group in your area. You can google Tenants rights in RI.
He says that most states require a 30 day written notice before they can increase your rent and also states that when a disability is involved you may have even more rights. IF you were forced to file a bankruptcy, you could stay in the home for up to a year until it was resolved by a bankruptcy court. There would be no rent paid during that time.
He also said that he thinks RI doesn't have rent control, but to check that out.
I am praying this is resolved for you, Marie, soon. The stress of dealing with this is too much for you and Ed to be involved with right now.
I think Flori's suggestions were good if that will do the trick.
Please let us know if we can help you in any way.
Much Love and Hugs to you,
Vickie

Monster
 

Marie, what kind of moster is this person, I would like to come down and meet her. She would not be the same when I'm done with her.

I hate that you are going through this. How is Ed doing?

What can I do to help?

Randi

You guys always amaze me. Looks like Rhode Island has no rent control so I am stuck with this, she will however, have to do this in writing, 30 days. She is planning on giving me a new lease on August 1st and I am sure that the new rate is there. I cannot sign this until the 30 days end. Of course grandmonster will get livid about this and contact her lawyer, whining that she has to evict another family member. There is little reasoning with her but I will try to play her game a bit longer. Sad part is her spiteful behavior and not the increase. Do not fear though my little chickadees, I have water damaged in two rooms from a roof leak. I am going to try to barder her to allow me to fix them for money, she might not bite. I will get this done either way.

I am not trying to anger her or make this difficult. As long as she gets her money she will dismiss my feelings just like the rest of my life and act like life is grand. I am really hurt because Ed has done all maintainance here for 16 years, everything. We have never done anything that explains her behavior except she is an evil person uncapable of loving. I do believe that when judgement day comes for her she will be passed over for holding up the line. Hopefully I can be forgiven for not being able to get through this so-called relationship, she does not bring out my best of qualities. (lol)

I am still angered but trying to say the hell with it. She is a person that takes and never replaces, I cannot have her stealing the best parts of me anymore, she is too draining. And this time the only stress I want to feel is getting him well. We will not allow her to attend the funeral and again this is not to start a war. She has no place in Mighty Oak's final farwell into Angelhood nor his celebration of life.

So for now I have a lawyer but wishing it does not get to that point. Here goes nothing.>>Believe51

Most rental agreements include statements that would imply it is your grandmother's responsibility to provide maintenance when required. Perhaps you need to come up with a list of all the maintenance work Ed has done around the place and turn it into a bill. Present her with that bill when she asks you to sign the new lease. Let her know that when she pays your bill, in 30 days, you will sign the new lease. Make sure that Ed is paid handsomely for his work.

You might also have some rights in regard to the roof leak. It might be possible for you to withhold rent payments until the roof is fixed.

I hate to admit this part of my personality, but, I agree with Randi. I have always wanted to visit Rhode Island, especially now to get away from this blistering heat. All you need to do is provide the address of your grandmonster and . . . . well, just use your imagination!! ;)

HaHaHa, reinforcements, I like it. Maybe we can get Flori over here for a visit too.

Right now it is a cool 78 degrees with a beautiful wind. I cannot believe it is July. Anytime........just put your request in writing for 30 days before the visit.....hahaha, could not resist. Bad girl!!>>Believe51

Marie, I don't have any advice, but strongly beleieve what comes around , goes around. We don't escape this life being cruel to others.
Keep your energies on what really matters; Ed and your time together.
God Bless

http://www.rifairhousing.org/tenantsandbuyers.cfm

http://www.hud.gov/local/ri/renting/tenantrights.cfm

You may have other remedies at your disposal... comb through these websites to see how she might have violated her side of things.

And send me her name, address and phone # in a pm. I would actually like to have a conversation with her.

Oh Marie, I am so sorry you are dealing with this right now. Not at all what you need.

I am a lawyer and although I don't practice in the area of landlord tenant law, I do have some experience in this area and would be happy to do a little research for you. Landlord tenant law varies by city so just because RI may not have a rent control law, this doesn't mean that your city or other local municipality does not have one.

If you want, you can PM me with the name of your town and I can do a little bit of research to see if I can find anything helpful.

I second the idea of looking to see if there is a legal aid society or other local organization that may be able to assist. Many law schools offer free clinics and free advice to community members.

In general, tenants have way more rights than landlords and it is usually quite difficult and laborious to evict someone. It would take your grandmonster months to actually get you forced out of there. I am just blown away that a family member would do something like this - especially dealing with all that you and Ed are dealing with. Karma karma karma. She'll get hers.

Alice and I can come up there with some Texas justice!! Might even get Maryanne involved.

I have a couple of friends who own rental properties (not in RI), but I am told that they can only increase the rent by a small percentage with each lease renewal. So, when you are combing through the tenant rights links posted above, see if you can figure out what the percentage is and tell her that if she wants to be all business, then you can play that game and only pay her a legally allowable increase.

Also, as a landlord she is required to hold anything like 1st month, last month and security deposit in as escrow account (of which I believe you would get 16 years worth of interest on that money when you vacate the apartment). Tell her you want to see the escrow account statements...do this AFTER you follow Flori's suggestions above for putting her off as long as possible...cuz it is bound to get ugly after that!

Good luck to you and Ed.

Colleen

Housing Hotline
(401) 846-4896
10 Collins St, Newport, RI 02840

They are free and can help with your questions.

RD

Serendipity!
 

Marie,
No legal advice, but here's something I just had to tell you as soon as I got home today! After that little conversation we had in your other thread about Ed singing Sinatra and I said we've got high in the sky apple pie hopes....the next day I was watching a House rerun and it ended with Dr. House playing that song on his piano. O.k. that's kinda cool but it gets better. I was at the pool today taking a swim and I looked up at the dry erase board on the wall by the calender and someone wrote "Say YES to High Hopes" and there was a drawing of an ant next to a plant and an apple pie floating on a cloud!!!! I took it as a sign for you and Ed, and it made me laugh and I had so much energy for my swim I think I broke a personal speed record. As I did the backstroke I think I heard Ed singing.

Truly remarkable. I love you guys. Celeste

In CA they require a 30 day notice, but can raise rent 10%. Different rules apply to family members, so if you aren't paying comparable rent it can be raised even more.

She really is a grandmonster. . . and if some of the ladies from this bunch catch up with her it's going to get ugly. You think cancer is scary, pissed off cancer survivors - now that is scary.

On a serious side, I hope that you find the help you need Marie.

~Any Lawyers In The House??~
 

Some of the other ladies had some really good ideas. I love Flori's style. The housing hotline sounds like a good idea too. I was thinking---------is there any kind of family mediation available in your state where you can try to resolve problems, get grandma to understand your position and/or compromise?

Bummer of a situation, but...
 

There are some great resources out there as far as learning what your tenant rights are.

I would highly suggest you visit the www.HUD.gov website and search for the tenant laws for your state.

You might also want to check out EZ Landlord Forms - they have articles and a forum specifically set up for people that don't know what to do.

However, if I may... you will not be able to bill your landlord (grandma) for work done and/or withhold your rent for that amount... unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

Please let me know if there is anything specific I can help you out with.

Marie dear -

So sorry that you have to put up with this.. and this is your grandmother? OY!!

If it would help, I'll come down with some Mounties ... you know they always get their man!!

all the best
caya

Your grandmother sounds like money is her first love. I hope you get this resolved and can stay in your house with your husband. It's sad what people will stoop to for profit at other's expense. Good luck.

Ruth from Canada

Marie,

Even when I cannot give you any advice on this topic because of different country laws, I would like to say that I hope you solve this problem soon and that you do not get so stressed with this, you have enough on your plate to even have to worry about something like this, specially comming from a family member, just can't understand.

Much love,

Paty

Thanks for all the replies, I am off to a good start and things are bound to get ugly. I am not worried about getting money for maintainence because we put thousands of dollars into this place knowingly over our 16 years together. We do not expect this back but I also do not expect anyone else to be enjoying the new countertops or tile-enclosed shower!

I have spent most of my life here and Ed has spent all of our relationship here. I had always stayed here because my plans were to remain super close to them (grandmonsters) and this was a sacrifice I have regretted more and more as time goes on. I thought at this point in life I would be taking care of them, huhh. Anyway, Ed is going to pass away in this place we call home.

There is no reasoning with a money-grubbing, self-centered devil. Talking will only force her to push her weight, her controlling animal ways but I will have to try. I am serious though, she is not human I just know it!

Wait until August 1st when I tell her I need a written increase 30 days beforehand. She will argue because she thinks she is powerful, not realizing that law is stronger than her and it is on my side....oh lala!!>>Believe51

Ugh! I think if you open grandmonster heart, it is full of darkness. You might even see a creature there with a fang inside her heart that's why there is no room for love and compassion inside her unkind heart.
Ed and Marie, hang tight. God is good. I'm always praying for you.
Hugs,
Gemma

Marie ~ How old is the grandmonster? This is just unbelievable...is it possible she has the beginnings of dementia? You and Ed are such loving, sweet people! Its almost unheard of. How can she even think of doing this to you at this point of your life? Use free housing advice in the State of RI first and foremost. I am so sorry and you shouldn't have to worry about this right now.
Sending lots of hugs ~ Ruth

Geeeez marie
 

I was just about to ask and then I read Ruth's post asking how old your grandmonster is and if it could be Alzheimer's. I have seen some people's personalities change to someone they were not before. Has she always been this way?

This is a very sad situation coming from your Gran and not to mention what Ed and yourself are having to go through in your lives.

I pray you can get it under control and hope Ed is feeling better.

Take care Marie & Ed

Beleives51:
Your email tells me two things.

At one time you must have had a reasonable relationship with your grandmother to rent from her. Otherwise, why would you have picked her place of all places to rent if she is so nasty?

Does SHE feel that she has been giving you an especially good deal in your rent all along? Has she? (Be honest - are rents rising in your area?)

Does she feel it is "her turn"?

If she thinks that finally you have come into some money, maybe she feels that it is time for this subsidy to end. Does she depend on this income? Has she had to make repairs to your rental?

My suggestion is to sit down and talk to her. TELL her that you have received no inheritance. Show her your overwhelming medical bills. Find out, not what she wants, but how she FEELS?

Maybe she feels that she is being used and taken for granted (you certainly don't like her) but this situation could change if everyone's feelings were put on the table.

Just an idea......

Good luck. Sending positive vibes your way.

My grandmother would have told me to love her to death....And I would have argued with her for hours. Marie, do your best and trust God for the rest. You're a mighty fine gal, Miss Marie! I'm believin' for ya! ma