getting emotional
 

Hi folks,
O.k. I'm putting out my request for some positive vibes, now. My story: I finished my neoadjuvant TCH chemo in Dec. and am still on Herceptin. I am expecting to have a quadrantectomy next week and radiation next month. I had a breast MRI Monday and I meet with my surgeon tomorrow to get results and find out when my surgery will be, and what or how much surgery we'll need...hence the anxiety!
Adding to the stress is this persistant cough I've had off and on for about a month, which I'll ask my surgeon about tomorrow and see if I can have a chest xray or what?
Until now I've been very confident, positive, and strong. My ultrasounds I've had during chemo showed the tumor shrinking almost completely away, so that's very encouraging, but I feel like I'm at a very delicate turning point right now. I'm so happy to be off chemo, but it's a scary thing, too. I don't want those cancer cells to wake back up and start all over again.
I'm nervous and moody and uptight. I've been eating chocolate chip cookies all week and avoiding talking to people because I don't want to snap at them because they don't understand my touchy feelings...which is why I'm here talking to you.
Thank you. Love, Celeste

Hi Celeste,

The anxiety of not knowing is the worst - just think, tomorrow you will know your plan, and then you will feel better. I am sending you all the positive vibes I can.

Oh, and chocolate chip cookies are good for nerves, didn't you know:)?

Keep us posted.

all the best
caya

Hi Celeste, The anxiety we have all experienced when waiting for the "results" of xrays, scans, etc. can really get one down, way down. I'm glad you posted and let us know what you are going through, it's therapeutic and gives us the chance to be here for you and hopefully give you the support you need right now. We've all been there...and we'll be rooting for you tomorrow! Please let us know what you find out, take some deep breaths, go out and look at the stars, and eat all the cookies you want. Sending you love and prayers, sister. Hugs, Vickie

peaceful thoughts to you!

"where we go one, we go all". Ok, so I stole that one, but it's a good one to steal, right? Celeste, we are with you, sweetheart. We understand what you're going through. You are in our thoughts and prayers. You have inspired me to "light a fire" in the "keeping your mind off of BC" room. Please join us and toss a log into the fire and burn your fears away.

getting emotional
 

It is perfectly normal to be feeling what you are feeling right now. Fear of the unknown (in your case test results) is normal. After you get the results you will be able to sit down and make a plan that is right for you.
In the meantime, enjoy those cookies !! I am sending positive vibes your way.

I hacked for about a year after my chemotherapy and radiation. Had shortness of breath also, Oncologist said it was probably from radiation but I have to believe the chemo didn't help. I didn't have any symptoms at all of my lung mets and was working out and exercising like a bandit, so coughing does not necessarily mean that it has spread to your lungs, but I do know the fear you have, so it's best to have it checked out for your peace of mind..sherryg683

Celeste,

I am sending many positive vibes your way. I hope you have peace today.

Amelia

Thanks!
 

Thank you so much. I've got a smile on my face and I'm on my way to my wonderful surgeon's office...with cookie in hand!!
More later, love Celeste

Go Get 'em Girl!!

Wrote that with me fighting color!!>>Believe51

Results
 

I'm so grateful for the support, everybody! I saw the surgeon, saw the mri pics, we made a decision. Turns out I will have a radical mastectomy in two weeks (1/21). The chemo irradicated an enormous amount of the tumor, but since the two remaining tiny spots are rather far apart, and it was such an aggressive variety (micropapillary, HER2 +++, lymph node involvement, and very, very large at the start), it's safer to take the whole breast, including the lymph nodes, rather than lumpectomy and risk not getting it all.
So I guess today is the day I start saying goodbye to my lovely 31 year old cleavage! As much as it hurts, I'm glad the chemo was so effective, and I have a really good surgeon, and I'm going to live another 70 years! Depending on what we find in the lymph nodes, I might not need radiation or hormone therapy...that would be really great.
I'll check in with you all again this evening.
So much love and hugs to you all, Celeste
I'm going to the pool for a swim. Gotta work off all those cookies.

Hi Celeste...

I'm glad a plan is in place and you are ready to go. You go girl.......

Asking God to send you His peace and I am thanking Him that things are going well for you.

Mary Jo

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/28/28_3_6v.gif Celeste, sending you special love from my heart to yours. See you at the fire!>>Believe51



http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb095&pp=

update
 

Thanks Believe51! That looks just like me! All is going well. Everyone's support has been priceless. I'm feeling confident in my decisions, and ready to take on this new phase of my life. I will be doing radiation, also. I met my radiation oncologist and she's fantastic. A great one to add to my already top notch team.
See you at the fire!

Dear Celeste -
Hope you are warmed up a little by now with that roaring campfire!

Remind us when the 21st is coming around so we can all send you prayers and positive wishes for a great outcome with your surgery.

You are one of the young survivors here, but you see there are some of is older gals who are still kicking and we will see you in our chorus line! Get 'em up girls (guys,too)!

My friend Barbara in my support group had a diagnosis very similar to yours. She is four years NED. Herceptin is a wonderful thing. I coughed my way through treatment. Still coughing!

dancing girls
 

Thank you Mjo. My cough has improved with the addition of a humidifier and and air purifier in my house. Looking forward to being NED, too very, very soon.

I've got my high heeled boots ready for the chorus line. Can we do the can can (one of my favorites)? I do feel like the baby of the group. Kind of nice, actually, since I tend to feel a bit old around others my age, these days.

Anyway, it does feel better to know my plan now. This experience has taught me how to ask for help. I never needed it so much before. Turns out, it's not so hard. The response has been overwhelming. There truly is safety in numbers.

Freyja,

I can't do the can can, but I will dance too. It was a relief for me once the neo-adjuvant chemo was finished and I had my masectomy.

Amelia

Hi Celeste,
For what it is worth, I had a cough during TCH treatment also. This cough lasted a long time up until I completed herceptin. I hope that will bring some ease to your worry. (Easier said then done) the very good news you are getting positive results with the treatment as the tumor has gotten smaller, so you know the TCH is doing its job.

Some points to help you feel better:
Has the cough increased or stayed the same?
Are you coughing up any blood?
Do you have chest pains?
Any breathing difficulties or heavy wheezing?

From your post it sounds more like the treatment is causig the cough, is it a dry cough? Mine was.

I hope this helps you to feel better, I think you are very wise to treat yourself to those cookies!
Relax bit and enjoy them, I am sure when you see the dr. he will confirm that you are doing fine.

My very best wishes,
Jean

Thanks Jean and Amelia,
Yes, my cough is much better now, and all my doctors and nurses agree that it shouldn't be a concern. I do have a child in kindergarten, so a cough and sniffle is normal for us...my imagination runs wild sometimes, though.
I think I'm just about burnt out on the cookies...just about. Too much more and you guys are gonna have to stage a cookie intervention!

Celeste,

I was 30 when I had my first brain surgery - and you hear people use "it's not a brain surgery" to comfort others - so I understand how you are/were feeling.

My surgery went on for 25 hours. So when I was told by my breast surgeon that my first lumpectomy was going to be 2-4 hours, I didn't have any fear. And 4 years later, when I needed mastectomy, I insisted on getting a double.

With mastectomy, I ended up had to stay overnight at the hospital. Do you have enough support there such as child care? Be sure to get some assist at home. You will need a lot of rest.

Will be praying for you on the 21st.

recovery tips
 

Thanks Jackie,
I'm sorry you had to go through all that, and so young. The up side I guess is that recovery and healing might be easier at our age.
I am considering having the other side removed also, someday. I think I just want to do one at a time for now, though.
I have very supportive family and friends standing by. I'm so grateful for that.

I'd be interested to hear more advise on recovering from surgery from you ladies.

Freyja,

You have already been through chemo, which to me, is the worse of the treatments. Surgery recovery was easy in comparison. A few days of rest (and painkillers) and you'll be up and around! The drains are more of a bother than painful. And this coming from a girl who had never had surgery before and was a BIG CHICKEN!!!

You'll do great.

Dear Celeste, I am so happy to hear that chemo has worked its wonders and shrunk the tumor dramatically! :)

More prayers and positive vibes going your way for the Surgery.

getting emotional
 

I am sending positive vibes for your surgery on January 21st. Take good care of yourself. Let us know how you are doing afterwards.

Celeste,

Recovering from surgery is really much, much easier than going through chemos.

I went to the hospital at the designated hour, checked in and went through the presurgical routine. Your doctor should have given you instructions on the day and hours prior to the surgery.

Does your hospital have a breast cancer volunteer? I think I had a 1/2 day meeting with doctors and staff involved in my treatment plan. And the volunteer gave me some stuff (including a padded bra) while she visited with me.

After the surgery, I think I stayed overnight in the hospital. Then I was discharged with two drain bottles on each of my underarms. I joked that I looked like a six-legged spider. In your case, you should have just one. After about 10 days or so, I went back to the hospital and the surgeon took off the drain bottle.

My surgeries happened during summer break, so I did not have work-related issues at the time. Though I did lose my job a year later - because of previous brain surgeries and two chemotherapies.

Are you going to have chemo again? Be sure to exercise so your heart function will be good. I was born premature so I have lots of problems. But I am still here. And I am sure I'll be here for quite a while.

Celeste,

I'm glad to hear that you have responded so well to the chemotherapy treatments. My prayers are with you for your surgery.

Joan

Celeste, I am probably the oldest warrior on this website at 79! You may have already read my story but in case you haven't I'll repeat it briefly, to let you know there is always hope! My first cancer in 1985 was small and only in my right breast, but I opted for a complete mastectomy because my younger sister had just died from BC.(How I wish she had had all that we can have now to fight it!) She had advised me earlier to get a bilateral mastectomy since her cancer had spread to both breasts. I had implants too, the old silicone kind, which I do not recommend. The left side has been okay but the right side has always been mishapen and has leaked. The cancer rerturned in 1990, to two vertabras in my spine. I got over that, too, and was cancer free for 15 years. Then in 2004 I had a heart attack that actually saved my life because it brought to light her2 BC in my lungs. The oncologist said if it hadn't been found I would have had less than 3 or 4 months. I went on herceptin and navelbene for 6 months, then herceptin and femara for 9 more. I am still on the femara and probably always will be. I have been cancer free for over 4 years now. My heart goes out to you for all you are facing, but I want you to know you can do it and it will make you stronger. There are so many real warriors on this website who will help you along the way with prayers and caring and information. I wish I had known such wonderful help when I was younger and going through the first cancers. I am so grateful for all the caring and help along the way this time around. Stay strong and learn all you can so you can fight this insidious monster BC. Someone told me to remember that cancer cells are sickly and misshapen and when you fight them with the power of chemo and a strong, positive outlook, you will win. Ratchet up your faith in every way you can, because Fear and Faith cannot co-exist. Come here often and let us all share your burden. There is so much strength and wisdom to be found here. May God bless you and help you to overcome fear and stay strong. We will be thinking of you on the 21st and praying for you. Let us know how things go for you. Hugs, TriciaK

Celeste, I am probably the oldest warrior on this website at 79! I had a double mastectomy in 1985. You may have already read my story but in case you haven't I'll repeat it briefly, to let you know there is always hope! The 1985 cancer was small and only in my right breast, but I opted for a complete mastectomy because my younger sister had just died from BC and she had advised me earlier to get a bilateral mastectomy since her cancer had spread to both breasts. I had implants too, the old silicone kind, which I do not recommend. The left side has been okay but the right side has always been mishapen and has leaked. The cancer rerturned in 1990, to two vertabras my spine. I got over that, too, and was cancer free for 15 years. Then in 2004 I had a heart attack that saved my life because it brought to light her2 cancer in my lungs. The oncologist said If it hadn't been found I would have had less than 3 or 4 months. I went on herceptin and navelbene for 6 months, then herceptin and femara for 9 more. I am still on the femara and probably always will be. I have been cancer free for over 4 years now. My heart goes out to you for all you are facing, but I want you to know you can do it and it will make you stronger. There are many real warriors on this website who will help you along the way with prayers and caring and information. I wish I had known such wonderful help when I was younger and going through the first cancers. I am so grateful for all the caring and help along the way this time around. Stay strong and learn all you can so you can fight this insidious monster BC. Someone told me to remember that cancer cells are sickly and misshapen and when you fight them with the power of chemo and a strong, positive outlook, you will win. Ratchet up your faith in every way you can, because Fear and Faith cannot co-exist. Come here often and let us all share your burden. There is so much strength and wisdom to be found here. Let God bless you and help you to overcome fear and stay strong. We will be thinking of you on the 21st and praying for you. Let us know how things go for you. Hugs, TriciaK

Thanks again, everyone, and thank you to the queen TriciaK! Your words are so inspiring and encouraging. I am meeting with my surgeon tomorrow morning to see if we can still do the surgery on the 21st even though they tried to move me to the 28th because I demanded a bilateral instead of a single mastectomy. Now my lump feels like it's growing again and I want it out now.

Thanks for the support, I'll update tomorrow.
Celeste