It is not normally like me......BUT......
 

Good Afternoon her2 groupies.....It is not normally like me to be a "downer" but I'm kind of feeling like that the last 2 days and needed to vent here with those who understand.

The reality of this disease hit me AGAIN (every now and then I feel reminded of how cruel this disease is - less and less as time goes on but circumstances and passing of loved ones brings it back) I've been struggling with sinus issues (or so I think) the past few months and just recently went on an antibiotic for it. I am feeling better but still have some foggy feelings in my head. The good news is that the headaches I was experiencing (waking me in the night top of head/forhead and back of head) - I haven't had since starting the antibiotics but still have some pain in lower skull area by neck and that is off and on but less since I started the antibiotic. I know my symptoms make no sense (and you KNOW where I'm heading with this 'cause we're all alike that way) but I am certain I have brain mets and it's bringing me down!

You guys know I don't live "their" and hate being negative and downcast (and nobody would know I feel this way except you) but the last few days I've been feeling blue about this cancer stuff and feeling like it's just a matter of time anyway. What a horrible attitude....I know!!! I also know I will get over it and life will go on but for today this is how I'm feeling and I needed to share it with my support system here.

I do go in for my 6 month check up on Dec. 18 and will at that time mention this all to my onc. (if the problem still exists) and then I know he will order a brain MRI and that scares the "YOU KNOW WHAT" out of me. I don't want that. Those scans etc. always bring me way down and always remind me of the world I'm living in and I hate it. On the other hand IF I have a brain MRI and hear it is all clear (oh surprise surprise there is nothing up theirhttp://her2support.org/vbulletin/images/icons/icon7.gif) I will feel very relieved.

For now though I just needed to share my heart with you guys 'cause you all get it. I've also been praying and asking God to help me remember that my life is in His Hands and fretting over my tomorrow's is useless. As a little card I keep hanging by my computer at work says "don't worry about tomorrow...God is already their."

Thanks for "listening" you guys!!!!

Love you LOTS.

Mary Jo

I hope all is well with the MRI if you have one. I've been wondering whether CT is sensitive enough for brain mets. They have done two of those on my mom.

Hey MareJo
 

Sorry I missed wishing you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Could some of your "blues" be caused by your recent BIG event? I am not far behind you in age. For some reason; maybe because it is just before the BIG 50, and the last of the 40's this Birthday has me down a bit. I don't know how you feel about the winter time, but if you don't like the cold, you have been hit with a double wammy since your B'day is slap in the middle of the cold season. I know many people who get down when it gets cold outside.

Also, EVERYBODY has down days, including us before our diagnosis. I think now it just makes us more aware and more upset because we have had our fair share of the "blues". My bet is your headaches are nothing to worry about.

I hope your day gets better. My presciption to you is to put on some warm snuggly PJ's, make a cup or two of hot chocolate, build a fire if you have a fireplace and curl up on the couch with a good book or puzzle. Turn the radio and tv off and enjoy the peace and coziness the winter time brings.

My prayers are with you

Mary Jo:

I'm hoping you're just dealing with a garden variety sinus infection (besides it's that time of year) and that in a few weeks this will just be a bad memory.

This is the awful legacy of this disease - wondering if or when the other shoe will drop. That's our reality, that's what we always have to live with and it's hard to explain it to anyone else. As positive as we try to be, we can never escape that nagging worry. It doesn't matter what stage we're at, how large or how small the tumour was or what our markers were - it continues to haunt us.

We try our damndest not to think of it because we want to enjoy every single day - but it stalks us whether it's a conscious worry or something that we try to ignore.

I think a lot of us have those days when we identify an apparent symptom that makes us worry. We just don't talk about it. We don't want to worry our spouses and we don't want to depress our friends.

So we carry it with us and usually go through the worry alone.

I wonder if the professionals around us are as familiar with this "syndrome" as we are. Is it similar to some kind of post traumatic stress syndrome?

I guess I'm just saying that what you are going through is so very normal and perhaps it hits those who fight so hard to stay positive just a little harder?

I think we're bound to have these days. How could we not? I hope this is the case with you. You've been such enormous support to so many on this board and I know we're all hoping this is just a temporary glitch.

Hang in there.

Thanks Rich, Anita and Louise......

Rich, I did break down and call my oncologist's office and they are in the process of setting up an appointment for a brain MRI for me...YIKES!!! Not sure what to think....of course I want to say.....it will all be fine....but honestly, I'm a realist, and I don't know that.

Anita, nope....it isn't an age thing with me. I don't worry about things like age and don't mind getting older. As a matter of fact I enjoy getting older http://her2support.org/vbulletin/images/icons/icon7.gif I think it's a combination of that 6 month check up coming up (always a friendly reminder of what we've gone through) and these head issues and not wanting to "tell" but knowing I need too.

Louise........yes, it is our reality - our world - as it were. No matter how hard we try to stay positive and try not to let the "what ifs" get to us.....we are human and at times it all just gets the best of us.

Thanks for your support you guys...it means a lot to me.

MJ

Mary Jo,

I hope you had a happy birthday. I am sorry you are feeling down. Are the days really short where you live now? When the days get shorter, and I don't see much sunshine it affects my mood.

Let us know when the MRI is scheduled. I will be praying and thinking about you.

God Bless You, and I pray he will send you some peace of mind.
When my journey started in February you were one of the people who gave me peace to continue through this journey, so I truly hope the same for you.

Amelia

Mary Jo,

So sorry to hear that you are on a downer - it happens to the best of us, no matter how positive we try to be. Our lives have been changed forever and sometimes we just can't help but worry. I know that you will be back to your perky self soon.

I had my last checkup in October. Prior to that I was experiencing headaches (more than usual) and felt like I was a little spacey (again, more than usual) and off balance. Normally I would just pass this off as headaches and not mention anything to my onc. Well, I decided that if I didn't have it checked out, it would continue to worry me. During my checkup I made sure I told my onc and even played it up a bit. Since her "speciality" is brain cancer she immediately started asking me questions. She recommended a brain MRI and I (of course) agreed. I had it done about a week later and had to go back for the results. Everything was fine and I was able to let go of the fear of brain mets. I am so glad that I had the MRI because I continued to have headaches and was still walking a bit off at times. I am fine now and am really glad I pursued this.

The brain MRI for me was relatively easy - considering I am claustrophopic. The breast MRI for me is so much harder to endure. Prior to the exam I don't look at the tiny opening my body will be entering and I close my eyes before I go in and keep them closed the entire time.

Best of luck to you. Let us know what you find out.

MJ, just to say I know how you are feeling. I went through a very similar experience recently. Right down to the brain MRI. It was negative for cancer but showed some other potentially scary thing for which I had to see a neurologist and THAT turned out to be nothing either! So keep the faith. Whatever the outcome, you will feel better knowing.
I must say I much prefer living in the "ignorance is bliss" state! But I guess we don't have that luxury anymore.

Mary Jo, do the brain MRI with joy. Then you get to hear your onc say, like mine did, "there's nothing up there"!!!!
Well, I knew that for sure!
I'd go with the hot chocolate and jammies thing myself!
I'm thinking awfully good thoughts for ya!
ma

Mary Jo, I have read so many of your posts and you are such a positive spirit and give us all strength.

You will be in my prayers and wishing that the headaches are simply sinus related and nothing to do with the cancer.

not like you....
 

Oh Mary Jo..... you carry the world on your sympathetic shoulders. Of course you get scared too sometimes. Totally normal. I'd would be telling less than the truth if I said that I was never scared. Though I know that you hate scans, nothing less than a scan is going to put this away for you. I will pray that you are able to get an appointment very quickly and that the news is great. I will also pray that God comforts you, giving you the peace of knowing that He has got you covered. I've more than a strong feeling that this is all totally sinus related. Otherwise you would not have had relief you had from the antibiotics. Please keep me posted with an email once you have results. I'm not the best at checking this site these days....

Love you so much sweet sister!

Lisa

Well Mary jo,
You pulled me out of hiding (I've been needing a break myself). But I couldn't let your post go without response. I have no wisdom, I just wanted to honor the way you are feeling and thank you for sharing it.

Yeah, this is the family that "gets it". Even those (like you) who will most likely only view cancer in the rearview mirror know that it shakes your reality forever.

Everyone else looks at you and sees you are fine and expects you to be fine...and can't understand why you would even think such thoughts.

Mary Jo, you are such a source of hope and encouragement for all of us, thank you for the gift of letting us lift YOU up for a change.

Keep your eye on that card you have hanging by your computer. That's the reality.

And it's much better than the one I have behind me that says "free your hair and your mind will follow"...but that's another story.

Dear Sweet Mary Jo,

We understand. We surely do. I am glad that you shared your feelings with us. I know that the days leading up to my recent scan were so difficult and my heart goes out to you. But as you know, God is with you and He alone will get you through this. We can rest in adversity because of HIM.

I have had a brain MRI and it was pretty easy but of course, waiting for the results is extremely difficult. I think that it is a good sign that you feel better after taking meds.

You are never far from my thoughts and are always in my prayers.

Love & Hugs to you,
Tonya

Thank you everyone.....you have uplifted my soul and THAT'S why I brought my heavy heart here. My heart is feeling lighter now. Thanks!!

I spoke with my oncology nurse later this afternoon and we talked in length about my symptoms and the lack thereof. (she also use to be an ENT nurse) She feels that yes, we need to keep brain mets on my "list" BUT she feels more than that - that what I'm experiencing is sinus related. First of all, since I started on the antibiotics Saturday, I haven't taken any Sudafed (and up until that point I was taking anywhere from 2 - 6 per day - along with ibuprofen) and because the headaches during the night have stopped since I have been taking the antibiotic. I see my onc. on the 18th of Dec. and we have decided to wait to see what happens to the "symptoms" up to that point. If I am still experiencing any of them she is confident that a brain MRI will be ordered just to "rule it out" (her words) and she said if I were to twist their arms, either way, one would be ordered. I have decided to wait until the 18th to see how this all goes.....

Anyway, thank you again for being here for me and helping me to feel better 'CAUSE I DO! God has heard your kind, heartfelt prayers and He has given me that peace you prayed for. Thank God for each of you.

Love,

MJ

P.S. Chrisy PLEASE come back a little more often - I've missed you!

Yes we do get it, we all go through it and you have
my support and prayers that everything is ok. I have
had a brain MRI and had to have an open one because
I could not go in the tube. Panic attacks are not pretty.
The open one is not really open but you can see out and
they put a mirror so I could see. Really nice people, even offered to hold my hand. Good luck and take care.
patb

Mary Jo,

Thank you for sharing your feelings with all of us. we're here for you.
I, too, had headaches and completely impacted sinuses and had to go on antibiotics. I had brain scans/MRI and no mets, but I know how you must feel. We are always waiting for the "other" shoe to drop. It is only lately that I've come to realize that that " other" shoe is going to drop for all of us here on Earth. Some of us know it, others just don't think about it or seem oblivious to it, but the fact is...it's coming someday.

The state of the world we live in is in turmoil and we are all a part of that. You are sensitive to what is going on around you, making you feel worried as most of us are. Know that we are here for you, that you are in our prayers and that we love you. vickie

You hang in there, Mary Jo. I'm sure your headaches are sinus-related, but just for your own peace of mind, maybe you could try to bump up the MRI a little. Maybe a little "white lie" about the "ongoing" headaches you are experiencing. Hey, I'm just saying.....This stuff is stressful enough without prolonging the waiting, right?

I know exacting how you feel. For the past month I also have had headaches along w/ pressure. I started on Claritan and now I'm better, as a matter of fact the headaches are gone. I live in Va and this year the allergies seem later than normal. For several nights I would awake with what seemed to be a pressure headache at the back of my head. We ALL have those days, for me sometimes more than a few. But I believe you are okay!

Worry................
 

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength."


Marejo,

You are such a strong and supportive person, but we all know that worry worms its way into our minds at least once in a while. It is then that we lean on our faith and our friends who do "get it". Thats why we all belong to this support group-----------to support.

We love you,

Mary Jo,

Sorry you have been experiencing headaches, and now have been worrying about possible brain mets - have you noticed at all whether your headaches are weather related? I get bad headaches whenever there is moisture - rain or snow. A cousin of mine gets them too and I will phone her and ask if she's had headaches - last week we had alot of snow here and we both had headaches most of the week. I got these before BC, but of course now if they go on for a few days I start thinking like you... I've always been prone to sinus headaches as well. A few years ago I went to an ENT specialist who did a CT scan of my sinuses which revealed a congenital defect - I have the sinuses of an 8 year old - they could not drain properly, so the smallest little cold would turn into a full blow sinus infection. Funny thing - I think chemo and/or Herceptin did something good in this regard, as I have not had one sinus infection since this nightmare began..

On the other hand, constant UTIs have plagued me. My onc. and GP agreed to put me on Macrobid 100 1x/day as a prophylactic for a few months to see if this will help. I sure hope so, nothing else has worked.

Will this ever end? Not likely, we just have to cope as best we can. You are allowed a few down days, you would not be human if you didn't have them once in a while.

all the best
caya

MJ, you have always been such a support for all of us when we need it, of course we will be here for you. I understand how you are feeling completely, I get so down at times that this nightmare will come back. Even in my good days, I carry around this sadness within me, nights are terrible at times. I too am coming up for my scans in January and I get more nervous as they approach. Headaches..been there too. Your symtoms sound like the ones I have continuously had. My headaches would get so bad at times,they would radiate around my head. I have insisted on regular brain MRI's when I do my scans every 6 months. It makes no sense to me checking out my body and ignoring the brain. My Oncologists jokingly calls me the "crazy brain lady" and says he has more brain MRI's on file for me than he needs. They have all come out clean. Headaches were due to sinus problems, neck problems, stress..who knows. You are doing the right thing having it checked out, we have to stay on top of things...I still haven't adjusted to this new "normal" that we have...sherryg683

Hi Mary Jo,
Been there, done that!

In addition to what everybody else suggested, keep in mind that you can have a bacterial sinus infection on top of a viral or mold issue. The antibiotics will clear up the bacterial infection, but not the other two. An allergic reaction to mold could make things worse. The "brainfog" can be an allergy symptom as well as a sinus infection thing. It might help if you started taking probiotics. They help keeping the good bacteria in your system, that otherwise could be killed by the antibiotic. Good bacteria keep molds & yeasts in check. It's a delicate balance.

I'm no doctor, but to me it sounds like all your symptoms could be complained by a sinus infection and perhaps a (temporary) allergic reaction.

Hang in there and let us know how it goes.

Hugs

Jacqueline

Err. I meant explained, not complained

Am having a bit of brainfog today myself. The drainpipe burst last night, causing the sewage to back up into my house. As I'm extremely allergic to molds, just a bit of moisture can make my symptoms worse. This was a lot of water...

Am dealing with insurance stuff.

Jacqueline

My dear sweet friend, how I would love to give you a big hug! I know you are scared and for me, waiting to know something made things so much worse. I think I would try to bump up the Mri. Just for my own peace of mind.
I always look forward to your posts, you are always so uplifting, now it's our turn to do the same for you.
For now, put those jammies on and have that hot chocolate and let your mind rest. You know that God is with you and we are all thinking of you.
Love you, sweetie

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v8...526prayers.jpg

MJ: We all know and feel your fears. The "cancer coaster" never lets you off and is one scary ride. Everyone with Her2 and mets is all too familar with the fear of brain mets. Unfortunately, my brain met with mets the end of August. Scary, sucky stuff!! I highly unrecommed getting them.

Anyway, I am compelled to post that no symptom, no matter how small, should be discounted when it comes to brain mets, especially for us Her2 gals. The key to the best treatment options is catching them while small in number and volume. If you do have them, you will only help your circumstances by getting them as early as possible. I recently visited Dana Farber Cancer Center and the onc inquired how it came to be that they were dx so early. Vigilance and reconigzing the high risk in the HER2 population is what kept me on top of it.

An anti-anxiety drug like xanx or atavan might be of help to you while you get through this. I try to never take them, but when facing this situation, I do.

I have had several "nothing there" Brain MRIs and the good news and relief is so worth going through the "scanxiety." You will be nothing but anxious while you wait it out, so, I say, go get that sucker over with and get some good news to enjoy over the holidays!!

Fear makes us weak and alone which doesn't do anything to help us battle on. Trade it for your faith; strength and those who love you will help you keep up the constant battle we always will have in our lives.

Sending you all of my good vibes and best wishes for only good news!!

LOL

Darlene in Virginia Beach

Hi Darlene Denise,
Welcome to OUR very special and exclusive club. Only the BEST are admitted!

Best FIGHTERS, that is. Glad you are in control of your funky brain mets and are seeing the best people for that.

Mary Jo -
We will LET you have a scare once in a while, and even let you worry about that is bothering you!
You approached the problem with knowledge and went to your treatment team - taking some action to get a hold of the "root" problem.

You are not the "stew in your juice" type that I can see, and will take this on for better or worse.

My vote is with the others here that brain mets is NOT the problem. I get sensitive to Atmospheric Pressure drops, causing headaches at times.

Are you using Saline solution in your nostrils liberally? I find this helps me a lot.

Mary Jo, you are such an inspiration for me. Your posts have always helped me so much. But I know what you mean. Sometimes the worry and fear just overwhelms me. Sending you a hug and prayer that all will be well, just sinus stuff.

Nancy

My favorite scripture: Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

MJ: I forgot to mention that since your remaining pain is at the base of your skull AND neck, contrast MRIs might need to be done on your cervical spine along with your brain and brain stem.

Several posters seem to be focusing on the headaches that have subsided as a reason to think it's not mets and to wait it out. It is not likely that sinuses are causing skull base and neck pain. It could be nothing (hope so!) skull, bone or brain mets.

I still say, don't assume and continue to wonder, check it out with a discussion with the onc NOT his/her nurse. I know he/she would want to know about these symptoms asap and will give you the best advice. If you wait until the 18th and scans are in order, you will be dealing with Christmas week and frustrating delays.

Faith in place of fear!! Hope you will post soon that all is well!!!!!!

All of my best to you...

Darlene in Virginia Beach

MaryJo - yikes. You basically posted for me. I have had at least a 3-4 week struggle with so many symptoms that can't be explained, that I have been ready to just go out back and have myself shot... dizziness, queasiness, lack of appetite, headache, weakness, shakiness, general severe and unexplained malaise. But the most overriding symptom has been the BLUES. I have been finding myself more and more remote, not answering the phone, and just going underground... I have looked for answers from my Med onc, Rads onc, ENT doc, chiropractor, counselor and massage therapist. The prevailing opinion by at least half of them is that it is mostly a depression that I have sunk into without realizing it. We believe that I did have a sinus infection at one point that has been treated, and possibly have cedar allergies that exacerbate it, but there is no logical medical explanation... ALL my CBC and TM numbers look GREAT and I am not running fever, etc. I am slated for Chest/Abdomen/Pelvic CT, MUGA and brain MRI next week just to be sure we aren't missing something. (and to add insult to injury, I have been having a new flare up of sciatica pain/problems and one of my meds caused restless leg syndrome last night - so I have had a series of mostly sleepless nights on top of everything else.) This is miserable, but my onc says it is not unheard of to have a slump upon changing treatments, especially once we have been on the treatment treadmill for a long time.

I will start back on my Remeron tonight in hopes that it will start to give me some relief. But I do admit that I have had increased fear and worry over the last 2 months, just not as "up" or confident as I have been for the last 4-5 years. My onc says he has noticed the mental change in me ever since just before my brain IMRT treatments.

Yikes. But I am glad we are looking at it and trying to clear it up...

Thanks everyone who posted since my last "thanks everyone!" Today is a new day and a better day. I, too, believe it is sinus related (throat issues also) and believe that things are getting a bit better - although not gone. I do remember last year addressing this same type of "stuff" and was also put on Zyrtec for allergies as my PCP felt that was the issue - WHATEVER!!! LOL...they all have a "guess" in it I guess. Anyway, after speaking with my oncs. nurse yesterday and her questioning my "past" sinus issues (if there were any) - I forgot - that most definitely YES there were. Also, I always seem to get pain in the back of my head near the base of the skull when I get these type of sinus/allergy issues. This is most definitely not the first time. After speaking with my oncs. nurse she told me that not only do we have sinuses in the front and top of our head (where most people's pain and pressure are) we also have them in the back, near the base of the skull and there are a lot of people who have pain their also. So..........long story short (ya, right...this is me we're talking about - hehe) I will pay attention. Yes, Steph, you are right...I am not the "stew in your juice type" and will do what I feel needs to be done. For now I will wait till the 18th because I believe it is nothing HOWEVER I am not the "bury your head in the sand type either" and realize, of course, I could have brain mets BUT I don't think I do. So...I will wait.....take my antibiotics and speak with my onc. on the 18th. I have a feeling he will want to order a brain MRI because that one time I had the pain in my leg for awhile and I told him about that he wanted a bone scan even when I asked him if we could NOT do that. Oh well...time will tell...for now though....all is good......

As Dori Day once said (I'm dating myself, aren't I?) Gay sa ra sa ra...whatever will be...will be... the futures not ours to see.......gay sa ra sa ra. (LOL is that cheesy or what???)

Thank you everyone.....and yes, I'll keep you posted. And you know what??????? I hate this disease and what it does to us emotionally. Although I REFUSE TO LET IT CONTROL ME most of the time.....sometimes it does and that really PISSES ME OFF. (excuse the harsh language but this is cancer we're talking about here ..... I can think of a whole lot WORSE language I could have used and didn't)

Love to you....

Mary Jo

Brenda and Mary Jo - thank you!
 

Brenda and Mary Jo,

I'm of course not glad to hear that you're feeling down, and I send you many good thoughts and prayers for improvement.

But at the same time - I'm really glad that you posted with honesty. I think that it's seductive for us (cancer survivors) to believe that we must hold ourselves up to an unrealistic standard of perkiness and optimism, at all times. But life, cancer or no cancer, is full of ups and downs and really - there's no benefit to denying or trying to fluff up the downs.

Of course we don't want to get stuck there, in the downs. Knowing when we're stuck is probably the trickiest part. But if we do not acknowledge, share, and allow the downs, we are denying part of life. I think it's NORMAL to be in the depths sometimes. I think that if we allow ourselves to go there, rather than trying to fluff ourselves up and put on the happy face, we can move through those depths and emerge a little more worn but deeper/wiser/richer, and ready to carry on.

Even better, if we have a place to talk about the doldrums (like right here), and if we have others who understand and do not try to fix us but rather simply hold us with love and empathy - again I think that we move through and onward, rather than around, the pain. If we try to move around it, avoiding it, suppressing it, telling ourselves we shouldn't be allowing it - then it doesn't go away, it festers.

I know that many do not want to post anything that is not upbeat, for fear of bringing others down. But speaking only for myself - there is nothing that brings me down faster, if I'm not feeling perky, than reading how wonderfully perky someone else is. Does that make sense? I'm glad that things are going well of course, for that person. But if I feel like I'm the only one who is on a downbeat, it only sends me lower.

Thank you, Mary Jo, for starting this discussion, and thank you, Brenda for chiming in. Keep talking and keep describing. And also, be patient with your body. Think how many times in life you've felt crummy but told yourself that it wasn't "real" - that it was all in your head. And then remember when you finally did feel better - how clear it was to you that you'd been physically not well. We play such mind games with ourselves.

I believe that if we honor our sadness/fatigue/fear by allowing ourselves to go there, we find that it's not as bad a place to be as we thought. I believe that we emerge more grounded, with more appreciation for this life that we're in.

But as I said in the beginning - the trickiest part is knowing if we're stuck in the doldrums. I've never gotten stuck myself, but I've talked to others who have and they report that they sunk so low that they had no strength nor even desire to move forward. That's okay for a day or even a week, but not for much longer, unless we note movement forward even if not yet upward. I guess that we could warn our loved ones - most of us have people around us. Tell them that we're feeling down and that if we don't seem better in a week, push us to get help? That sounds pretty safe - sort of a safety net or air gauge as we allow descent?

Debbie Laxague

Mary Jo,

If it would make you feel better you should arrange for a brain MRI.

In my own case, I didn't have one until the bc spread to my lung last year. As you know, the first MRI was okay, but the second one this September showed a met in my left frontal lobe.

The brain surgeon said she heard I found my own brain met (pretty funny!). That is, I didn't have any symptoms because the met was first discovered on the MRI.

I've also been feeling down lately, and I think it's like a post-traumatic stress. I had to move so quickly to have the brain surgery that I really didn't get much time to think about it. It's like I just jumped into action to get done what I needed to do.

Your headaches are probably from sinus problems. My brother whose prone to that has been having a lot of bad headaches lately, and even his radar went up because of my brain met. He'd also been flying a lot lately and that added to it. He's been taking some nasal stuff and said he's feeling better.

It's really normal to have ups and downs. Cancer is a challenge.

Joan

Thank you Joan.....yes, cancer is a challenge. A huge one but a challenge we can win and do better at than the cancer does to us. We can't let it, you know!!! Although the cancer woes don't hit me as often as they use too, they still hit me (naturally) and it's something we all have to learn to live with.

After reading your post I remember someone saying to me once that brain mets don't usually occur until after the breast cancer spreads to other parts of the body i.e. lung, bone, liver etc.

Well anyway Joan, thanks for posting here. All of your opinions - experiences and love help each of us. I pray you come out of your down time soon.

Love you...

Mary Jo

Mary Jo,

I am with you, girl! I just finally got over the nasty sinus infection that I battled for weeks and weeks (well, almost the whole month of November) and it about drove me crazy.

I am the world's worst of thinking that everything is a met of some sort, but I think that's "okay". It's not fun, and it's not always rational, but it is my new normal (as we all say).

I will be sending out huge cyber-hugs for you. Sometimes it makes me feel better even if someone who has no idea about anything tells me that it will all work out. So, it's not brain mets.

Much love,

Mary Jo, just want you to know I'm thinking about you.

I had some of the same issues you are having and mine did turn out to be sinus related. I even had the pain at the back of the skull as well. Some of that had to do with teh way I was sleeping cause I was coughing so much with my sinus issues and couldn't get comfortable so I seemed to check my head in an akward position which didn't help matters at all.

I will keep watching for your update after your Dec 18th appt.

Well MJ...thats what we are all here for...so you just go ahead and vent all you like. I think we all get in those moods every so often.
It would be reasonable to assume those headaches are all sinus related. It will be good when you get that final confirmation either with the sinuses clearing up and the headaches diminish or via MRI.
In any case, hang in there and if we can lend a shoulder or a punching bag for you, we will!!

Marejo
 

This is the third time writing this post so sorry for the untimely delay. While reading this post I felt like jumping on a plane just to give you a hug. Yes, Marejo, this is not your normal disposition but it is so understandable when we are dealing with this disease. No amount of positive thinking nor praying can exile us from these feelings. Our lives have changed forever but thankfully we have this home to come to. We understand like no one else can, so vent away.

You are so supportive and loving to us all at Her2. I am so thankful and honored that you looked to us to vent your feelings, your honesty is pure and heartfelt. It also pleases me to hear that you are feeling better than yesterday.

Reading all these beautiful posts from your friends whom love you pretty much has you covered. Thank you Marejo for letting us coddle you for a change. I am wrapping you tightly in my arms right now since I cannot jump on that plane. I am rubbing your temples and whispering in your ears as we speak. Can you hear me?

You are always in those prayers and a large part of Ed and my daily life. We love you as does this family. Tonight I will light a candle especially for you, how does 'Christmas Eve' from Yankee Candle sound?? It is one of my favorites!!

Lots of love and prayers today and always. I love you!>>Believe51

Marejo

Sending you a hug from where I live in England. I just needed to say that as I think you deserve it.

I get down sometimes like everyone here and it is great to have this lovely place to come and share emotions.

Hope everything goes very very well for you

Love
Janie

Mary Jo, Thinking good thoughts for you. Once again I am reminded how lucky we are to have each other. I still thank Tricia K in Ireland for directing me to this site 18 months ago. Even though I do not check in as often as I used to, I still tell my local friends about my Her2 friends. You are all an important part of my life. Mary Jo, we are with you and hope this is really just a sinus thing. In the meantime, hang in there. I can be a worry wort, and I know how hard it is to turn off that pest in your brain. So I wish you peace and sleep over the next 2 weeks.

Hugs, Catherine

Mary Jo, I myself am also a very positive and upbeat person, but once in a while even the woman of steel gets the blues. I think we wouldn't be human if we didn't. Hang in there kiddo!