Edwards: Less help than a girl needs
 

In a NY TImes article today Dowd states that......."the creepiest part of Edwards' creepy confession was when he stressed to Woodruff that he cheated on Elizabeth in 2006 when her cancer was in remission. His infidelity was oncologically correct"

Thoughts?

I feel that his making that point was one of several inappropriate/less than ideal comments of his. IF he wanted to communicate that his infidelity did not take place while his wife was actively battling cancer, he could have handled it somewhat less brazenly, by referring to the sequence of things that had been going on in their lives before and after the affair.

Also, they both must have known she had a significant risk of recurrence. I am always aware of that and believe my husband is as well. But perhaps they were in denial.

Interestingly, Elizabeth in her statement commented that her stage 4 diagnosis oddly helped them get past the affair. Perhaps when John realized he might lose her he focused more on her importance to him.

I am, frankly, a former supporter who is now diappointed in both of them -- mostly him, of course, but her as well for enabling him in the charade. Their marriage is their private business but they both tried to mislead their supporters and the country and were willing to take a huge risk that the affair would not come to light. Honesty is always the best policy IMO.

Soooo...
 

the "fact" that she was (was not) in remission makes what he did less severe?...NOTTTT. I wasn't a supporter (though I am "party" affiliated), but it seems that "infidelity" is bipartisan.

Jyber and Rhonda,
Thank you for your posts. I have found myself very upset at all of this (the actions, the lies, and the most recent statements during the long interview Edwards gave). There are so many people hurt here- obviously the family (which includes children and a woman who has already endured more than her share of pain, but friends, relatives, and so many supporters or (as you say Rhonda, "party" affiliated- that would include me too). What a tragic mess. I think that the Dowd article is a good one to read about now.
karen z

He is the most shallow and vacuous type of slimeball...

Edwards
 

If it was my husband, he would be hanging by them by now, Jeanette

Hutchibk and Jeanette,
All good points........very slimy stuff (like anyone needs this right now or ever).
karen z

I find it strange that men who enter into such a high end public vocation....do what they do? Do they really believe that what they do in private will not be disclosed. They made a choice to work in a public arena.

While I believe that their private lives belongs to them
and it is a shame that (she) has to respond at all
about her marriage....(and her cancer) for that matter,
since it is her business, for the sake of public face she
is attempting to make the best of the situation, more than likely for the kids sake.

But without a doubt, Edwards is a fool who thinks with his little head.

Jean

I'm Hung Up On The Inoperable, Incurable Message
 

At dinner with 3 other couples last night, this discussion came up. All the above were mentioned. Especially that if he were indeed the Dem Pres candidate, this revelation would surely screw the Dems, and the nation!

My point here is a bit different. REPORTERS KEEP MENTIONING THAT ELIZABETH (who we know has metastatic bc at this point) HAS *INOPERABLE*, *INCURABLE* CANCER. Those at my table were commenting that she is not long for this world, that she is terminally ill.

Each reporter states repeatedly that Elizabeth has an incurable form of cancer and each time it riles me.

I was told in '98 (when my bc spread throughout my liver) that what I had was inoperable, incurable and that I would be on long term chemotherapy for the rest of my life. At first I thought I was a walking corpse. Sure to die. I read the statistics. They were poor. I did rally however and decided that someone had to be in that tiny group of Survivors and I intended fully, with every ounce of determination to concentrate and call up strength and courage I had never really thought I had in such abundance.

So, I am thinking that our society is perpetuating our fear of THE BIG C, which they often whisper and will not name aloud, as they cower over the very thought of standing up to cancer.

At the dinner table last night I had to insert that perhaps Elizabeth is no more terminally ill than I am, or was. Inoperable and incurable are scary words to be sure. But my oncs told me that even if they did operate on all my many tumors, my body would be weakened and I would still have to undergo chemotherapy. Better to be strong in facing that. And as for incurable -- cancer is not curable. But it is capable of being managed, with any number of weapons the medical/scientific world has in their arsenal. The cure is coming. For now, cancer is a chronic condition that has flare ups, can be tracked vigilantly, tamped down and controlled.

My favorite mantra is I AM STRONG, BRAVE AND DETERMINED. And, I plan on living forever or die trying. Every day I break my own record for # of days staying alive. I do not forfeit a single day to bemoaning my sorry lot. I embrace the gift of each day and stay PRESENT as best I can. Connected to my Spirit, which is who I truly am. A Soul -- with a mind (a voice of its own that needs constant disciplining) and a body. *I* am the AWARENESS behind and beyond the taunting and tormenting thoughts that race around in my head.

BTW, I read that on September 5 the three major networks are airing a show about STANDING UP^ 2 CA... I have it marked on my calendar.

With Love and Light,
Andi http://cdn-cf.aol.com/se/clip_art/gs...mals-butterfly

Jean
 

I find it strange that people in the public arena are willing to live in the public arena. Look at Barbara Walters and Strom Thurmond....if the media had been at the pace it is now neither of these two people would have been able to function in the public arena. Most probably they would have lost their jobs and status, or had been so ashamed they would have hidden.

Great people, great faults!

1. “Family values” and “basic human morality” were a staple in Edwards’ stump speeches while he was campaigning for president.

2. Edwards offered this quote while running for president in the dem primaries in 2007: “…I think every single candidate for president, Republican and Democratic have lives, personal lives, that indicate something about what kind of human being they are. And I think it is a fair evaluation for America to engage in to look at what kind of human beings each of us are, and what kind of president we’d make.”

3. He was also quoted as saying (about Bill Clinton, during the Lewinsky scandal): "I think this President has shown a remarkable disrespect for his office, for the moral dimensions of leadership, for his friends, for his wife, for his precious daughter. It is breathtaking to me the level to which that disrespect has risen."

Besides the deep betrayal of his wife, especially during her illness, he has turned out to be a hypocrite of the highest order, and it will bite him in the bum, deservedly so.

I can't for the life of me figure out why Elizabeth has come forward and apologized for his actions on the Daily Kos. That is just downright insane. I simply don't understand why women defend the men who betray them in such public and humiliating ways.

I guess I would turn around that phrase that Vi offered: 'great faults mean they are apparently not such great people...'

Well the power of politics seems to bring out the worst in some men. Remember Newt Ginggrich? Newt pressed his first wife to sign divorce papers while she was still in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery. He also graciously said "She isn't young enough or pretty enough to be the President's wife."
I'm sure there's a many of us who have met women whose husbands left them when they got cancer - they couldn't cope and certainly didn't want to have to take care of someone else.
My husband constantly says "How can these men live with themselves?" Quite well it seems.

Hutchibk, I think the hypocrisy you quoted is what gets me the most.

Think what his legacy could have been...and what it will now be.

What a waste of space he is.

Thanks Andrea, I am so sick and depressed of the word incurable, it is like people telling you don't have chance to live.

Julie

I liked John Edwards, I really did. But for whatever reason (if there can be one) he strayed. It is particulary unbelievable to us because she has cancer. But it has happened so many times in the past and will happen in the future. Whether it is a president or the convenience store clerk down the street. I would hate to have my spouse in the public eye and so much attention drawn to myself and my children when something like this happens. I can't help but think of their children. Those poor babies. I know we can't understand how she can defend him but I am pretty sure it is to protect her children as much as she can. If she goes out and bashes him on TV we all feel good about it but her kids feel more horrible than they probably already do. You try to protect your kids as much as you can but with the internet, cell phones, TV and friends it is a HUGE task. There is nothing more damaging to kids than parents fighting...even if one is wrong and the other right. They don't see it like that. It just hurts them.
This whole news just is so disappointing. I really hate politics!
Ruth

Ruth,
I agree that she is protecting her children.
Very wise loving mothers during a nasty divorce will
keep the kids out of the pipe line...in this case it is
almost impossible ....so I think she is doing her part
to be strong for them.

Val,
Yes your correct about Barbara (whom I really
enjoy and admire) but - she was not attempting to
run for the most powerful job....(and she is still wrong)
to get herself involved with a married man.

I wish all women who have the unfortunate situation who get involved with a married (who tells them) that
he is staying just for the kids, or whatever excuse is used....I believe anyone can fall out of love for many reasons...but do the decent thing...tell the person you are married to and end that realtionship first before
getting involved with another.

Let's face it, men who have Power, Money, Title,
Good Looks, do get away with more....and in the last few years it has been very active in the political arena.

Too bad they do NOT have "Strong Character " to go along with all those other qualities.

Jean

Yes, Hutchibk, the hypocrisy is appalling (and thank you for sharing the unbelievable quotes). And I have to say that the "Ken doll" image that the girlfriend was attempting to "help" Edwards shed was more than apparent during the interview (what an empty-headed goofy guy emerged). And Andi, some of the newspaper editors and reporters who keep using the same language over and over again (and take phrases from one another without a thought to what they are saying) could benefit from a letter similar to your post here.

Edwards is pathetic. I saw some of the interview last night, and what I heard, to paraphrase, "you just feel like you can do anything and get away with it". Like I said, it's not a direct quote. He was trying to justify what he did. I hope we never see him in office again. And SarahDalton, thanks for bringing up that episode regarding Newt Gingrich from 14 years ago. I had forgotten about that one. I just feel so bad for his family.

Amen to all the above. This is a topic that won't go
away for some time. Why was she getting paid by a
campaign staffer and another staffer says he is the
father of the baby. What a mess and the whole truth
is yet to be probably. When he was interviewed by
I believe (Bob Woodriff) he looked like a deer in the
headlights. He asked him why Elizabeth wasn't there
and he said I needed to be a man and take this and I
asked her not to be here. Please!!!!
patb

HYPOCRITE is right!
 

I KNEW Edwards was a hypocrite when he talked about how "green" he is - living in a gazillion square foot house that must suck up as much energy as my whole street!

Those with nearly unlimited wealth seem to always lose sight of reality somewhere along the way.

"Oh, baby - Elizabeth, you know I will support you every way I know how and take care of the kids should you not make it. However, now I am on the way to make a very social conscious video, and will see you later."

Kiss, kiss, while stroking her thinned out hair.

Faked smile as John imagines what will happen after the video session. . .

It is sad thing to have happened. And as I always say in these situations, celebrity or not, it is their private business and hopefully they will be left alone to work it out as they see fit. I wish them peace.

It could have been (and should have been) their private business. Unfortunately, Edwards did his best to make it ours when he made a wrong turn on his way (more than one time) to the White House. I wish the family peace as well, especially the innocent ones.

[rant on]

I am so disappointed in the performance of that sacless slug, John Edwards. To me, one buffoon can seriously undermine a lot of work that a lot of caregivers have worked so hard to achieve. There are a lot of men who come here and 'get it'. Bill, Joe, and Eric come to mind but I am sure there are more. Good people who understood the "in sickness and in health" part of their marriage vows. And now, should good women who are fighting bravely to take back their lives from this dreaded disease start to worry if their spouses are being faithful or not? Let me assure you, if you married a man, as opposed to an adult boy, you have nothing to worry about. We remain faithful to you because we promised we would and we love you more than anything........., no......., more than everything. Men are better than this. John Edwards is no man.

As for the woman who suggested that Elizabeth Edwards is to blame because she wasn't 'taking care of things at home', I hope sand endlessly blows in her vaseline. Its been a while since I have heard as despicable a comment as that. I will never wish anyone gets cancer, even the worst dregs of society don't deserve this, so I refrain from asking God to ensure that she receives justice.

I don't know how John Edwards could ever redeem himself. He used his wife as a stage prop. "Look at my poor brave wife, and I'm pretty brave myself!" All the while he was shacking up with a bimbo who has a bent moral compass. Utterly reprehensible behavior. May he be blindfolded and made to walk barefoot through a field full of rakes while cancer survivors throw AIDs infected wolverines at his face. I can't think of anything that could balance accounts on this.

I just wish he would crawl back under his rock and never be heard from again.

[rant off]

He does have a nice haircut, though.

Have a nice day!

Lee

Sorry, but anyone running for a public office as much in the spotlight as President of the country has to expect that they DO NOT have any private business. Such people are vetted unmercifully by their own party, let alone the rest of the world. Edwards got past his party vetting process because there was NO evidence or a hint of impropriety on his part at that time.

Infidelity to a spouse gets equated with a loss of trust, when trust is one of the main reasons to vote for a candidate.

A figure such as John Edwards is not the guy next door or someone you don't HAVE to or NEED to put your trust in.

Politically correct/psychologically "correct" apologies will not repair the damage to Edward's career in politics. I am sure he can go back to practicing law, no matter what his "choices" are now.

John Edwards claims he would "welcome" a paternity test to prove the baby isn't his. His mistress has refused to allow a test done on the baby. I wonder how much that cost him...

I really feel bad for his children. Imagine having to deal with your mother going through cancer treatment and your father suffering from - not "an error in judgement" - but a lack of moral character. I think the only error he made was thinking that this would never come out.

Andi: I have to agree with you. I couldn't believe the talk show hosts going on and on and on about how Elizabeth Edwards is dying of cancer. It made me crazy every time I heard that statement.

Lee: Thank God for wonderful men like you, Joe, Bill, Eric, my husband, and countless others who support their partners in this battle. We are so lucky to have you in our corner.

Oh, and the haircut ($400), I wonder what he gets on the side....hmmm.....

All in all, what goes around, comes around. He will get his just dues.

Lee,
Gee - tell us how you really feel! lol.
I really enjoyed the part of throwing AID infected
wolvernes at his face...loved reading your post!

You and all our other wonderful men (yes Sir Bill) this means you too! /and/husbands certainly ARE NOT included nor compared to the likes of Edwards....

I think he was a skunk long before Elizabeth was dx.
this does not occur overnight!

Jean

Edwards is a hypocritical typical politician. I was charmed by him when he ran with Kerry, but I felt that his run this time around despite his wife health status spoke volumes. It just portrays his selfishness and his own agenda. This admission does not surprise me. I remember hearing a cancer survivor speak and she had this to say about unsupportive spouses:
"Whatever time I may have left, I don't want to spend it with you". People come in all varieties unfortunately, not all of them are supportive.
Just my 2 cents.
Anne

Edwards: Less help than a girl needs
 

I have no respect for John Edwards or the people who said Elizabeth has incurable cancer. Elizabeth is doing her best. She doesn't need a guy like John Edwards or the people who made those negative comments giving her more stress than she probably already has. I hope she lives until she is 150 !! Maybe she needs more people like us on her team. Let's adopt her.

I have never liked him. Never. And this just doesn't surprise me. I don't believe he 'made a mistake' or 'error in judgement' - he made a choice. That is an entirely different thing. Just like Clinton, Gingrich, Spitzer, McGreavy, Foley, etc etc etc... and all the other politicians who have made the slimey ego-centric choice of betraying an intimate vow. They get caught and they deserve every bit of fall-out that occurs from it. It is a pity that they are so narcissistic that they don't care what it will do to their families when they get caught. It makes me want to spit. I wouldn't walk across the street to pee on them if they were on fire. If a politician can't abide by a vow to their ill spouse, how in the world can they be seriously believed when it comes to a vow to an entire country of people? He obviously has no qualms about disloyalty and betrayal on the most personal level. When they are running for the highest (or any) office in our country, I believe that we do not turn a blind eye to it. It speaks volumes about the depth and integrity and trustworthiness of the person. How people act in their personal lives and their level of personal responsibility and sound judgment is the basis we start with as a species and a society to determine the trustworthiness, dependability and integrity of those we allow to be in our lives or choose to affiliate with, whether they are family, neighbor, business owner, civic leader, community leader, or national leader. I am such an old-fashioned square I guess, but I truly wish our society lived by the values of of the Boy Scout and Girl Scout promises, oaths and laws - like we used to strive to 4 or 5 decades ago...

There is so much I could say about Edwards. But I think instead or wasting space on him I will instead say "Thank You" from the bottom of my heart to Lee and all the good guys, like my husband, who you represent. God bless you.

Hutchibk,
Thanks for your last post- it resonated completely with me. And thanks to all who have posted about the wonderful members of this site, who have been great sources of love and support for their significant others. Seeing this love and support (and compassion and great humor through it all) is amazing and brings us all to a much better place.

Just one additional thought from me, while in no way do I condone what Edwards has done I cannot judge him so harshly. It was a ginormous mistake on his part. A mistake that has been made by so many beyond count, both women and men. A mistake, something that humans are all too prone to. I leave his judgement to a higher authority.

I don't agree that it was a mistake, I offer that it is a choice... but I do agree with leaving the 'acquital' of it to a higher power.

Exactly Terri! We are all 'dying of life' from the minute we are born! As I always say, I don't believe in the 'Stage 4' myth about cancer... in my world there are at least 50 stages, and I would offer in the world of our dear Madubois - she is putting my theory to shame~

Hutchibk,
I agree with you, completely.
Edwards made a choice, followed by more choices (including not telling the truth to family, friends, co-workers, supporters), followed by more choices (trying to become the next President of the U.S. while lying) and on and on and on (he even made a choice to have a late night meeting in a hotel room a few weeks before national conventions- holy cow, give me a break). I, too, leave his acquital to a higher authority but, when one has actually decided to do something very public with one's life, then one's choices may be more visible and consequences more far reaching than for others (but, in all cases, forgiveness would be coming from elsewhere, obbviously).

what do you expect from a trial lawyer
ugh i was such a big supporter during the early primaries, this is such a dissapointment. i thought they were such a down to earth couple among all those other slimball politicians.
its gonna put a dent in americas perception of the democratic party and perhaps in the democratic process. i think this story just brings out the hypocrisy in politics
i agree this story has been given way too much attention by the media. and i really feel like the personal life of a politician should be kept private, i mean whats happened in his personal life doesnt change his voting record in congress or any of his professional pursuits.
anyways on a personal level, i really sympathize with elizabeth edwards. and im starting to just distrust men in general

I read recently that some folks are trying to get their campaign donations refunded (not donations to the general election, whichwould get refunded anyway but for the primaries)!!!
Wow, if these folks succeed, maybe some people will be less prone to lie to other folks in the future.