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Re: The SMACKDOWN continues!!
I see my onc tomorrow, too. Hope we both get a good report! Sending good thoughts your way, my friend.
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Re: The SMACKDOWN continues!!
OK friends!
CT scans ALL CLEAR! Yay! So I won't be governing in the Sunny State of Denial for at least a few more months. But I appreciate the promise of votes... and the elevation from governor to queen! Interestingly, the CT of my chest showed a fractured rib that is showing signs of healing. I knew my rib hurt too much to just be "radiation effect"!! I don't know how it got fractured though! Hmmmm... The report also says there's a small spot of pneumonia in my other lung. I've had pneumonia 5 times in my adult life. If I had pneumonia, I think I'd have symptoms! My onc agrees...until we see symptoms... we're just gonna wait and see. My steroid taper is down to 1/2 mg per day... but boy do I feel baaad. My body is not bouncing back the way it did the other times the dose dropped. My adrenal gland has apparently become lazy, and likes the way the decadron does its job for it. I asked if watching scary movies would jump-start my lazy adrenal. My onc didn't miss a beat... she said, "I don't think there have been any formal studies on that... but hey! what could it hurt?!" I just love her! If you remember, the neurologist wanted me to stay on Avastin for 4 more infusions, and then scan again. Unfortunately, my insurance company is very reluctant to approve that... so we're not sure what's next. So... I'll keep tapering and tough out the side effects. My level of sympathy for people fighting to free themselves from addictions has skyrocketed after this experience. The body wants what the body wants! No amount of will power counteracts physical symptoms. Very humbling as one who likes to be in control. God and I have discussions about this with some regularity... He wants to be in control too! :) On a happy note... my weight is headed in the right direction now! Baby steps... but I'll get there. And hey! my new mantra has become "fat is waaay better than dead!" Perspective is everything! Please keep up those prayers for continued shrinkage of that swollen area. They seem to be working! Mickey and the goo-gobbler are keeping a close eye on things, I'm sure... but prayer is really what will put an end to this ordeal!! Sending you all love and prayers for YOUR healing and health! Denise |
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I am so overwhelmed with joy. I am doing the happy dance although I don't know how to do all that clever stuff you do and attach things. I had no doubts, the power of prayer and your positive attitude are two very powerful healing tools. Stay healthy my dear friend.
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Re: The SMACKDOWN continues!!
1 Attachment(s)
Darlene
This guy reminded me of your cat! :) |
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Alot of good news there! Yea! Regarding the "pneumonia". Remember when I had the unnecessary lung surgery? They were trouble shooting a chronic cough, my lungs lit up on scans and it was thought to be cancer. It turned out to be residual matter from a probably old pneumonia (which I dont recall ever having!) My point, and I do have one(!), is that you very well may have residual things that are manifesting on the scan. Just might be old, not current. Have I made any sense?
Keep the faith! |
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Elated for your happy news!!
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Wonderful news Denise!!! I sympathise with the withdrawal, and hope you, your doctor and the insurance company can soon work out the next stage of treatment.
Be kind to yourself..... Pam |
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I had no doubts! Will I recognize you the next time we meet? I have a feeling you and your onc will win the smackdown against your ins co.!
Oxo |
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Too funny. Not sure if the cat does the happy dance but he sure made me do one. The bad thing about that whole cat and my cancer story, if he starts climbing on me I wait to see what he will do. He seems to like to groom me and licks my hair, gross, at first I thought he was telling me something but I figured out he is just a control freak and just grooming me. He is persistent tho,I push him away and he comes back but hey he saved my life as weird as that sounds. Glad u r doing well Denise. Love your firecracker spirit and upbeat attitude. We all have learned from you. Now here is one that you have won, I am awarding you " Most popular and well liked". U will need a crown when u become queen.
Love ya girlfriend. |
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Soooooo GREAT that your Cat Scan was clear and you continue to be able to taper the steroids. YEAH!
Paula |
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Wonderful news! Your positivity is contagious!
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Dear, dear Denise I am late finding your wonderful news! Gotta say it made my day!! Hope the insurance company comes around and approves some more Avastin. In the meantime, celebrate those clear scans, watch the added weight go, and the cheekbones reappear! Mostly, just hug that beautiful family in thanksgiving for the good news.
Hugs, Barb P.S. God and I have those conversations about control too. |
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So happy for you. Thanks for the wonderful post - I read through it with a smile and quite a few chuckles ... :)
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Check this HAPPY DANCE out... Made me -- HAPPY! Hope it does the same for you all...
Carlton's Happy Dance - YouTube ALL CLEAR! YAY!! is right on... Fractured rib? Have you been laughing too hard lately? Hmmm is right. Listen to Bonnie's words re pneumonia thing! Her opinion concurs with mine... We are professional patients, which gives us a degree of some kind medically. I am so sorry you feel baaaad. Of course you're adrenals are shot. Look what you've been through, Denise!! Still perky in your head, and through your fingers on the keyboard though... I HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES. They come around, but feel they must wear you down and hope you'll go away first. They are in "business"... They really don't care about you... BUT WE ALL CARE -- BIG TIME!!! Sending them SHAME ON YOU energy as I type! I recently discovered WITHDRAWAL is a hell all its own. I was off the blood clotting supplements for 5 days. My body was overwrought. Out of nowhere, I was getting the old hot flashes, overcome with emotions, felt like I wanted to cry (which I honestly don't do, despite it all). Then they stopped all meds -- but for heart -- the day before surgery. WARNING TO YOU -- I only just learned -- you do not ABRUPTLY STOP anti anxiety meds!!!!!!!!! That can have serious neurological consequences. My brain is still messed up, and I'm back on everything since yesterday. Very foggy in there. Not totally psychotic but Wednesday night, day before surgery -- I could not meditate midst my 10+ hr bowl rushes, no food, no water from midnight -- blood sugar was dangerously low!!!!!!!! YOU MUST SLOWLY, VERY VERY SLOWLY WEAN OFF OF ANTI-ANXIETY MEDS (ATIVAN, XANAX) and I took my Zolft w/a teeny sip of water along w/my heart meds pre surgery -- and I told them I did! Though they told me not to... I am a good girl and I listen to what I'm told, but common sense told me I needed that! I was sooo foggy headed, shaky, had chills (couldn't work my mouse) -- and I am a hot girl/don't get chills. Felt like I was going to pass out all Wednesday afternoon and night and Thursday AM. Lesson learned. Hospitals need to have pharmacologists overseeing your and coordinating pre op instructions I have discovered. Maybe a Naturopath too. Western medicine is so centuries behind!!! NO ONE TOLD ME the above -- or details about stopping my Byetta (for diabetes). I injected in A.M. as always and ate some jello with my larggggeee cup of tea. APPARENTLY THAT IS NOT A MEAL, AND AS THE BYETTA LOWERS YOUR BLOOD SUGAR -- YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO PASS OUT. I too Neddy have new respect for those fighting to free themselves from addictions. I suppose I am addicted to my supplements. You're also right Denise, no amount of will power or positive thinking can counteract such powerful physical reactions to WITHDRAWL! You can't get "talked" down. I too am one who likes to be in control. I could not meditate. And I meditate every day! My thoughts were racing and banging around in my skull and I could not catch them. I kept trying to bring myself back to the Present Moment. This is what I do alllll the time. Impossible during WITHDRAWAL!!!!!!!! As for God, I talk to him/her, I talk to my body, I confer with the Universe, with my Teachers and Guides, and my Spirit. I explain what I believe I Expect, but at the same time I TRUST that we are always exactly where we are supposed to be. Tricky business, letting go, but not wimping out and putting it all in a Higher Power's hands. He/she gave us the power of choice. So I was just saying... Yes, fat is waaay better than dead. Remember our Brenda's signature? " I'd rather be anecdotally alive than statistically dead". TAPER SLLOOWWWLYYYY PLEASE DENNY -- TEMPTING THOUGH IT IS W/ STEROIDS TO WANT TO SHOVE IT OUT OF YOUR LIFE... Don't mess with success. My prayers for you are a continual stream. And for all who need it! Healing energy and Light, my dear Sisters! You know how they do a CAT scan? You lie on a table and a cat walks all around you... :o))) Andi P.S. POSITIVITY IS CONTAGEOUS! TRUE! Denise -- must ask -- how do you get BOLD in your TITLE of a thread? I can't even manage ALL CAPS, which I always aim for, but it just doesn't work out... What's the secret??? |
Re: The SMACKDOWN continues!!
Thanks everybody!
I'm muddling though day 2 of the new, tapered dose. So far, so good. No headache...but lots of dizziness. As long as I'm careful not to fall down... I think I can handle it! :) Darlene - I think your kitty is providing free "cat scans"!! And you don't even have to drink that nasty white stuff to get your clean bill of health! That is one valuable cat! Andi - Carlton and Will are always good for a giggle! I have no idea how to make a title show up in bold. Happy accident? Oh! Believe me when I tell you... there is absolutely NO danger of me trying to stop the decadron cold turkey. I feel lousy enough on the strictly managed taper! But this too shall pass. :) Thanks for all the prayers and good wishes! You guys rock! Denise |
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Denise, I so envy your BOLD ALL CAPS!
Tis a wonderment. I will continue to strive to be like you! YOU ROCK! ANDI |
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Denise,
So glad to read your good post! Hope the dizziness subsides soon. |
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Hey there Girl!!! Indeed, Power in Prayer!! I JUST caught up with your UPDATE!!! AMEN!!! So excited to see CT scans clear!! HUGS!!
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I'm so glad your doing well! Peace little Sis your always in my prayers.
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Hey Gang!
This is one of those good news/bad news times... The good news is... My face is starting to deflate!! In a week or two, I may actually have cheekbones again!! The bad news is... All I want to do is sleep! I usually wake up at 5:30 from habit. Today...I woke up at 9:30, took a nap from 12:30 till 4:00... and now, at 5:00 I'm wondering how long I have to wait before I can legitimately lay down again! Just thought of another piece of good new... I can't eat while I'm asleep... so I'm probably losing some of that extra weight too! Okay... 2 goods...1 bad...I'll take it! :) Denise ps - still sorta dizzy though...hmmmm |
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