Vanessa:

The only thing worse than having to deal with bc mets would be having to deal with the stress of an noxious ex-spouse.

As unsopportive as he's being, it sounds like your life would be calmer with out him. Have you put in the quarters required for SSD? Check into that. You may also qualify for SSDI. I think your kids even qualify for some SSD money, until they turn 18. Also if you do go ahead and get divorced, try to get your insurance coverage through his company extended for the full 2 years Medi-care waiting period requires, so you won't be left with a gap.

Does he have income? Can you hit him up for alimony as well?