I have a friend with implants- she has had them for 17 years since her double mastectomy and they look fab! They are small- and she never had the nipple reconstruction nor the tattoos. After what she has been through, its obvious she's just thrilled to be NED for 17 yrs !
I had a lumpectomy + rads. My irradiated breast "tightened up" and shrank... although I was happy with the cosmetic result of a lumpectomy I was very lopsided. I had a breast lift on the "good" breast. This was May 2006. I am still numb around the nipple and around the "seams"... Yeah, they look good, but numb... I suppose this is the best its going to be. Hubby does not care. Kinda likes the handful... yet, know would be happy with flatness just to have me around. We are both in our early 40's.
I think we all have friends who have had cosmetic enhancements- and more power to them. I think in our situation however, our choices are not so clear. Just another "side-effect" of this hideous disease.

maria

Emelie-

You asked about husbands. Mine has been a saint. He wanted me to be happy. He said he didn't care how many breasts I had. I don't think either one of us will ever look at my breasts (or mastectomy scar if I had no recon) and not remember the cancer.

A lot of the breast skin has no feeling, but when I get the chills, I feel the phantom nipple contracting, and when DH gently rubs them- I "feel" it. I guess it is mind over matter. My real breasts were ultra-sensitive, and mostly off-limits, so the new situation is not a hindrance to our intimacy.

The Diep breast feel natural- and by this I mean the consistency and the bounce. They look great- like my old 19 year old breasts. Only wear a bra when I exercise or when I wear a thin top.

I felt very uncomfortable with only one breast- I was a D cup, now a C. My kids were young and having them know I kept my "fake boob in the blue boob box" didn't sit well with me either. I am also very active and hated the breast prosthesis management.

There is a lot of women with all different recons discussing their successes and failures at breastcancer.org

http://community.breastcancer.org/ub...=0&Board=UBB44

One of the gals is helping start up a new website breastreconstruction.org
I think it will be up soon. With pictures.

So like everyone says, very personal decision. There are very real medical risks. I just talked to a friend of mine that had a nightmare implant recon (3 failures) that just had bilateral diep. I asked if she had to do it ALL over again, would it be worth it to her. She said yes.

reconstruction
 

I didn't have any. Age was part of it as I am 67, but my hubby was not bothered by it. He was just happy that I am still around to be with him. So what if I have one hung low. LOL I was a 42 C so I now have less weight to carry around. Blessing to you all, Jeanette

I was also fairly young (42) at diagnosis. I had my left breast removed and from the start I assumed that I would have reconstruction. It was going to need to be a silicone implant, since I don’t have enough tissue to steal from someplace else on my body.

But then, like many of you, I had a lot of time to think about it after more chemo and radiation. I haven’t gotten around to reconstruction and I don’t know if I ever will. I was always a small A or AA (in fact, when I ordered a prosthesis for my swimsuit, even the smallest size they sold was too big!!) so I am not that lopsided. I use a swim insert in a mastectomy bra for daily wear, and when I teach Spin (indoor biking--a great workout!) I use a fluffy hospital freebie prosthesis stuffed into my non-mastectomy sports bra (of course I had to remove half the stuffing -- and yes, it was the smallest size they offered!).

I have sort of become accustomed to having only one breast. I had two initial consults with the plastic surgeon, but I have made and canceled several appointments with him over the last two years, but I have one coming up that I will probably keep. His big concern is stretching my radiated skin. As I mentioned, I don’t have skin to spare, and he is extremely concerned about the results we may get. So I’ll probably end up doing nothing again this year :-)

As others have said, this is a very personal decision. Take your time and the answer will come to you.

Good luck!
Val

Hi everyone! Good topic!

Let's see...I am one of those implant girls. My feelings at the beginning (during treatment etc) was to just make it through. I couldn't focus on the thought of new boob right away so I waited until almost 2 years before deciding to try an implant. The big deciding factor happened when I was in Florida on a girls trip and I almost lost my removable friend when I flipped over on my raft! No kidding. I got out of the water and pretty much decided right then and there that I didn't want to worry about that darn thing anymore!

When I was diagnosed, I was nursing so they gave me some kind of dry up super fast drug and my remaining breast shrunk to sooooo small. I was a nice B cup before it all happened. I went in for a prostesis fitting and I will never forget the lady saying I needed size ZERO....I didn't even think they made a zero! Even with my zero sized prostesis I needed a little padding on my remaining breast. To me, I never looked right in or out of clothes. I was always aware that I didn't have a breast. I would shower and not look down and lived my life with the conscious thought that it was missing. Now I don't even give it a second thought or that my new breast is not "real" because it is real to me!

I started the journey of expanding and exchanging..all in all 3 surgeries. Am I happy with it? Absolutely. Was it painful? Yes, the expanding part was a pain in the rear. Do I have pain now? None at all. Does it look normal? No, BUT it is pretty. It is a prettier breast than I had after nursing 3 kids. I don't have much feeling on it and it is not big. I am a B again. The nipple reconstruction was the most amazing surgery to me. He took part of my remaining nipple and made a new one. Also took skin at my bikini line and make the areola. I don't need tatoo's since the color is naturally darker. That was pretty cool. Plastic surgeons are artists in many ways.

It is such a personal decision! I was given every opinion in the book on what to do and you know what? None of those mattered...what mattered most is what I wanted and needed. I truly believe that we know ourselves the best for us and we know what we need and don't need. I personally think that when we are in treatment our brains are a little fuzzy and this is a big decision to make. Some of the reconstruction surgeries are quite extensive and the healing time very long. I remember I just wanted my eyelashes back mostly...I thought about that more than a breast during treatment.

Some of the "life plans" I had in treatment are SO not happening now....like giving up chocolate and cheese. I mean come on?! Was I crazy? I could not survive without a taste of hersheys or a slice of pizza! I must admit though that I do eat a more balanced diet and eat my veggie's and fruits.

I hope that everyone finds happiness in their own decisions and doesn't regret what they have decided. I wanted to give a view of someone who had reconstruction and is very happy with it.

Peace & love everyone ~ Ruth

At the time it was the best decision for me to have reconstruction. I was a young woman at he time, 35, and remember how my mother looked with her radical mastectomy. They used to take the tissue right down to the ribs.

Now I look back and think a bi-lateral mastectomy with possible future reconstruction might have been a better choice. At the time of my origional mast. and tram flap reconstruction, there was much controversey over silicone implants. My plastic surgeon did not advise implants for me. The surgery I had was very disabling. Tissue was cut from my lower abdoman still attached to a muscle and blood vessels. It was then tunneled under my skin to be put in place of my breast. I was horrified when I came out of surgery. I would need future surgeries to make it look like a breast. I could of had the 1st revission in 6 months but chose to wait a year. My plastic surgeon used lyposuction to mold the tissue into what looked like a real breast. I would then have 2 more revissions to make the nipple out of the end of my breast and tatoo the color of the nipple and areolla. This type of reconstruction has been been improved over the years and is not so disabling.

This is a very interesting topic.
I went in for a breast reduction in Oct. 2006 ( to go from a 36 DDDD to a 36D), and my plastic surgeon found my 1.7 cm. tumor, which had not shown up on a mammogram or ultrasound 3 months beforehand. I had those nice perky smaller breasts for only eight weeks when my right one came off with the MRM.
My original PS does not do DIEP, I went to see the a DIEP PS before the MRM for a consultation. She was very kind and went over all my choices, and in a nice way I think she was steering me into waiting until after my surgery and chemo to decide, as I was so emotionally and physically drained from the breast reduction and then learning about the BC. I am grateful I waited.
When I asked my oncologist about reconstruction, before my mast. ( we had the pathology before the surgery, which is unusual, but then my case is highly unusual) he said that being "a relatively young woman" - I'm 48 - he wouldn't be opposed to it. I decided to wait and see, as we did not have lymph node status, and this of course would determine if I would need radiation. I was luckily node negative, so no rads. I healed up very well from the mast., then did my chemo, now Herceptin until May 2008.
I have a great prosthesis, and a special one for swimming, both are great- very natural looking and feel like "me." My husband has been great, I think he is just happy that I am here, and like many of the other gal's DHs, is sorry that this this happened to me/us. But it is what it is...
I am still thinking about reconstruction, but have no plans to do anything until after I am done with Herceptin. I may leave well enough alone and be grateful I am okay. I will probably go back to the DIEP PS again next spring for a consult, so she can look me over again.
I think that whatever anyone does is good for them, there is no one perfect answer.

I had a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction. I did not want to go through any more surgery than was absolutely necessary. I love my 'flat' chest...it is a bit bumpy...but barely a scar (I swear by vitamin E oil and still massage with it). I can see everything and there is no worry about anything hiding behind an implant! No regrets!!!

reconstruction ok. image of ourselves, I don't know
 

I had reconstr with expander and a saline implant. then i chose to do a prophylactic on left. this one also now has as saline implant. It allows me to looke "normak" in tops and bathing suits( which by the way, I've worn first time after two years of treatment). So for physical appearance for others is great,

I have not and will not do nipple reconstruction. Just don't want to bother with it. And I have heard that they look like you're constantly in heat! Maybe I will do the tattos of them lol. I know that when I look in the mirror with my two 4 inch scars they don't look appealing and brings down the woman self steem stuff. I only take showers now, I can't stand loking at myself in a bathtub, which I did every Sunday after housework to relax before bc.

Honestly, if I had to do this again or if these puppies flatten out, I don't think I'll put replacement tires. aT 51, WHO CARES. I'm mostly worried about my poor husband that has to see me like this.

So yes, reconstruction works well for me right no. it allows me to took normal in clothes and I think it would be had to handle the falsies in my mind but other friends have them and they are fine.

It comes down to an individual choice, your lifestyle and your partner's attitude.

Lots of love

Maria(mcs)

I really like how this discussion is so supportive. Each person sharing what worked for her but completely without judgement of other's choices.

Regarding husbands, and reconstruction or not - I think that response is just as varied as is the woman's. I know women whose husbands thought that reconstruction was essential, and as long as the wife was in agreement, these couples are apparently both happy with that choice.

After diagnosis (but still before surgery) my husband seemed to have developed a breast aversion. It was as if he felt these previously wonderful body parts of mine had betrayed us. He did not touch either one of them again. When we began to talk of bilateral surgery (elective simple on the noncancer side), he was all for it. When we looked together at photos of reconstructed breasts, and talked about how they would have little sensation, we were equally unimpressed and progressively uninterested. We were lucky in that our thoughts were very similar throughout. Not that these were the right thoughts for everyone - but for us they were, and we have no regrets.

Which, again, is not to say that we don't miss my breasts, each in our own separate ways. And which is certainly not to say that I love my flat chest. I am okay with my flat chest, I accept why it's there and am grateful for the life that I've had since cancer diagnosis. I figure a flat chest is a relatively small price to have paid for what I've received - lots and lots of learning and quality life experience. But still, I miss having breasts. Although I give "not wanting more surgery" as one of the reasons for not doing reconstruction, I will fantasize and contradict that by saying that if there were some way to put back MY breasts (floppy, small, silly things that they were), I'd be in THAT line in a heartbeat, even if took ten surgeries.

Time changes perspective a bit. I'm six years out from surgery. I rarely think about my chest anymore. It's just there. When I get new clothing, it's a consideration, just like my broad hips are a consideration - that's just the way I am. But it's not a big deal.

Debbie Laxague

Just a quick note about nipple reconstruction....you have options! Yes, you can look like your "at attention" if you choose but you also have the option of looking like your perfectly warm with no "chills" which I wanted. My reconstructed nipple is more "at rest" than my other one. It all depends on taste and what makes you happy.

Peace ~ Ruth