Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Hi Denise,I think I'm going to take the 10% stats that Jill's Dr. gave her. Are you with me?Thanks Jill for posting!!!!!

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Good Morning Everyone,
Thank you, thank you!
You ladies are the best medicine!
You're right! Why not me?
Only 10%?!! Wow! Yay!! Hooray!
I will not be letting "tomorrow's worry steal today's joy"!!
My smile is firmly back on my face. I'm a fighter and a survivor...always have been.
Thanks for letting me drop my smile for a few hours and ask for support in a safe and loving place.
God bless all of you!
Denise

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Audrey,
Thanks for replying! I'm feeling much more positive today...but I'll look back on these posts the next time something takes the wind out of my sails. The sad news about your friend certainly puts things in the perspective too. I'm sorry for your loss.
I wish you many, many more years NED happiness.
Denise

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Denise, So I was stage III and my cancer spread while I was still on herceptin, making me stage IV early on. I'd like to try another strategy with you- some tough love. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change the future- some women are just unlucky. But you have full control over the present and you can choose to let uncertainty destroy you or you can be thankful that you have today.

I too have a young child (17 months) and I can't imagine leaving him so young. Denial is a great tool and Her-2 blockers are a gift from God. So be thankful that you are Her-2+, as we have lots of options in treatments. Instead of focusing on what you don't have (a secure future), focus on what you do have, two beautiful children and a wonderful present.

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

statistics...ugh. They are only random numbers created by unemotional computers. Numbers...not real people like us. Hang in there and prove the computer wrong!!!

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

You've done everything correctly to heal your body with the best treatments going. Please don't be too concerned with numbers and stats., because that's all they are. It's better to get on with life, next to your sweet hubby, and enjoy.

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Denise,

My doctor said almost the exact sentence to me. I remember the day... my husband and I too shocked to say anything. Hey - I'm still here and my third grader is now in ninth grade, (on the HS crew team) my first grader is now in sixth grade(got to see her volleyball game today) and my 4 yr old is now in fourth grade, (giving me a hard time about her reading journal.)

Maybe someone has said this before but truly, there is no substitute for time - I still worry and you will too but focus on those kids and that wonderful husband.

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

I am about 4 1/2 years out from a possible stage IV diagnosis (long story) and NED. It has gotten better and I rarely worry about it. Because of the screw up with the diagnosis I have no idea of my chance of recurrence, anywhere from 20% to 80%, no one knows. I am my old self, can pretty much do anything that I could do before considering the age difference, real close to the old normal! I am planning on reconstructive surgery very soon, an option that I wasn't given at the time of my mastectomy. I found a quote that I love about statistics. I have it at the bottom of my posts. What I do know is that if it comes back I will do my best to get over it. I have always felt that we don't know what tomorrow will bring, cancer just makes it a little more clear. It will get easier to deal with the uncertainty. It just takes time and everyone comes to terms with it differently.

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

So true!
And as we all know..."78% of statistics are 90% made up"

Congrats on your success!
Love the picture. Are you really Mrs. Santa?
Thanks for responding!
Denise

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

I really am Ms. Santa. That is really what my husband looks like and he has a workshop too. That picture was Halloween and I curled his beard. I went as Cookie. ; )

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Hey, now we know somebody with pull at the North Pole! Let's all ask for the same thing...a cure!

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Bonnie,

Thanks again for another great post! You have put another smile on my face on a very sad day.(It has nothing to do with my cancer.)

Peace,

Nancy

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

I just want to say.....

You are all such CARING...BRAVE ...STRONG...BEAUTIFUL WOMEN! That is exactly why I like to "Thank" cancer from time to time...think it brings out the "Cups overflowing" person in all of us! ((HUGS)) to all of you!

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Oh, Denise! If I posted what your doctor said, I know what you'd say...only God knows what will happen in your life. As for me, well, you know I don't believe in statistics or even staging. Bologna!
I had a doctor-scientist tell me well over a year ago that Herceptin doesn't work for me and I was crushed, too, because I really respected his opinion. Turns out, he was just burned because I vacated a trial when I didn't get the drugs I wanted. Well, it IS working. No, we can't say for how long, but TODAY it is. And that's all that matters.
I LOVE YOU!
Karen

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Hi all!
It's so 'funny' that this thread got bumped up again this week! I'm supposed to go back to work, first day back since February 23, 2011, and...well it's made me think about recurrance...disease free survival...and prioritizing my life. Add to that, the death of our friend Jacqui...and well...I've been feeling a little pensive...not discouraged exactly...but ... you know what I mean.

Then, up pops this thread again!
Karen, you are so right! Only God knows! And as the author of the awesome book "The Shack" points out "God's always been especially fond of me!" (and BTW - God and I are both especially fond of YOU!)

If this mess recurs...even 50/50 odds should impress someone who occasionally plays the lottery!...I'll just follow in the footsteps of my stage IV sisters who have fearlessly blazed a trail for me! If it doesn't...well, as Becky pointed out almost a year ago, on this very thread...I'll still be around to encourage my friends who are fighting the beast...praying, empathizing, posting funny things to get your minds off BC...and paying it forward...till we have a cure!

Till then, I keep reminding myself:
HER2 survivors are like tea bags...the hotter the water, the stronger we get! (now THAT would make a good t-shirt or bumper sticker!)

And to quote someone's signature line (forgive me, I can't remember whose...feel free to chime in and take credit) You never know how strong you are...until you don't have any other choice.

And...so as my own "signature quote" indicates....I'm still trying to be polished up! My cup's overflowing! And once again...
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Not just for the support you post specifically for me...but also for the wisdom, joy and encouragement I've gotten from being part of this community. I don't even want to consider what this year would have been like, without this forum, and the support of my HER2 sisters. You ladies are ROCK STARS as far as I'm concerned!

Hope you can feel the gigantic, love-filled, cyber, bear hug I'm sending!
Denise (who also believes in a cure)

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Oh I wish I had see this ages ago. I remember in 1998 when they told my husband he had 6 months to live with his leukemia. We lived large, eating out at the nicest restaurants, going on exotic vacations, he taught me to fly the big twin - in case anything would happen, skiing, etc. Two years later I told him we had to quit this and go on a diet, it was obvious he wasn't dying.

14 years later his doctor shakes his head and says according to your blood tests you should be really, really sick. Just keep doing what you are doing . . .

The biggest lesson I learned is don't live like you plan to die soon, you need to plan for living a long and happy life.

I hope your doctor is a terrible at prognosticating like ours!

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Wow - love your post 'Lizbeth! Needed to read this right now...God bless your husband and you with a fantastic long life together

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Denise my friend dx with me as stage 3 is celebrating seven years out next month and she had fourteen nodes affected!

My other friend is celebrating 25 years out and had 22 positive nodes although she was'nt tested for her2 back then, I'm highly triple positve and so pleased to be seven years out too so please disregard the stats as they dont apply to those of us who had herceptin early stage!!!:)

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

WOW!! do you ladies have any idea of the energy that flows from your words and stories. Denise, if I ever have a health crisis again, I'm going to crawl to Philly and spend time with you because you (and these other wonderful folks) really know how to LIVE. Thanks so much for sharing so much with us.

Re: I Need a Pep Talk...Very Discouraged Today
 

Hi Denise and Friends,

I'm 12+ years out (Diagnosed Dec 1999).

Stage III, 5.2 cm tumor, 9 infected nodes out of 21, Her2. My kids were 12 and 9 and I was 44 when diagnosed. Kids are now 24 and 21 and I'm still going strong.

Keep the faith! And, best wishes to you all.
Gabrielle