Remembering jml our Jessica

[NEDenise]

I'm still in shock at how quickly Jessica's long war with BC came to an end. She fought valiantly, was so upbeat...posting updates only a few days ago...a truly amazing woman! And a treasured friend...

From the time I first encountered her in our HER2 community, she was supportive, and encouraging, but I will always be grateful for the way she reached out to me when my brain mets were discovered. As a brain met survivor herself, she had such wisdom to offer. And her words had a credibility and compassion that came from walking the same path and coming out the other side. She was instrumental in helping me reduce my terror to a manageable level.

I'll also never forget the grace with which she handled the illness, and subsequently the death of her beloved father. My heart aches for her Mom and family, but I know her Dad was overjoyed to welcome her home.

I will miss her smile, wit, wisdom, courage, and especially, her friendship.

Jessica,
I know in time my joy for you, and the peace you've found, will overcome my pain at losing you here with us...but right now, today...it hurts to say goodbye. Rest well my dear friend.
With love,
Denise

[StephN]

This makes me want to crawl into a cave to avoid any more sad news. Jessica was an early contributor to this support site. Fortunately she did have some periods when her disease was in control and could go on about her life. But she never forgot us and would pop in to check on those she cared about.

Jessica was able to join our goup in San Antonio in Dec of 2011. She was overjoyed to be able to come to the breast cancer symposium and meet the important people in research for herself.

I am happy to share this photo of her from one of the evening presentations. She had been giving rapt attention in case there was something new for her. At that time Halaven was giving her a good run.

RIP my dear friend. Maybe you can give some pilates instructions to Joe and Christine!

[sassy]

Sadly from this group in 2011 we have lost Jessica (second from left front), Brenda (left front) and Chrissy(right back).

[Paty]

I am so sad for the loss of Jessica, she was a valient and brave friend with a big smile and with such a positive attitude. Meeting her in person was a great pleasure! I will miss you Jessica. I will miss your examples of strenght and gret attitude towards life. RIP my friend.

Paty

[Redwolf8812]

I always looked to her posts for encouragement. She went through so much.
- Penny

[lkc Gumby]

so so so sad to lose her....

[StephN]

Jessica was a discreet and considerate woman. As her problems were getting more and more critical she did not openly post the full extent being mindful of the recent passing of Chrisy and Christine's situation.

In late May Jessica did post of her chronic anemia and bone marrow problems. This was basically "code" for "I can't handle any more chemo."

If you missed her post with this link to a Genentech video, it is well worth watching. You will see Jessica's sister Johanna and a glimpse of Jessica herself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3WOSOhe2xs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3WOSOhe2xs)

The intelligence and compassion inherent in Jessica's family come through in this video. I never got a chance to thank our Jessica for posting it. Here's hoping the hugs and laughter we shared in San Antonio will suffice.

[karen z]

Steph,
Thanks for posting the video. It was really inspirational. I also found the video below- made at some point at Emory and featuring Jessica. I thought folks would like to view:

http://whsc.emory.edu/home/multimedia/videos/living-strong-with-stage-4-cancer.html

[IrvineFriend]

Steph,

Thank you for that video. I adored Jessica and now better understand how caring she was. It's just so sad.

[Cat]

Thank you Steph and Karen. I loved seeing the videos. She was more than I knew. She gives me inspiration. She had so much to give I am sorry it had to end. She will be missed.
Cathy

[chekmark]

We have lost so many in the past few weeks, so sad. I am at a loss for words. It feels as if i have lost of a member of my own family. I will never understand how we all go thru so much and then it ends just like that. May they all R.I.P. We have some awesome angels looking over us, lets never forget them.

[Mandamoo]

Oh hearing her speak is so beautiful - she certainly left a footprint.

[Barbara H.]

My heart just goes out to Jessica's family. This news just shocks me, in spite of the fact that I knew that she was not doing well. In addition, I feel for all of our HER2 families (and I say families) that are struggling and facing their struggles with so much courage. Although I am doing well, I broke my ankle in January in four places, needed extensive surgery, and was on medical leave from school for three months. I returned in the middle of April and will finish at the end of June due to all our snow days this year. My husband and I leave for Germany on June 30th. We haven't been back to Germany together in years and are looking forward to this trip. Our middle child is 30 and has autism. She is going to camp for 4 weeks this summer which allows us to get away.
I am swamped at work right now. Every teacher in our building has to move to a different room, and packing up with my ankle is not easy. Elementary classrooms have a lot of materials. It is unbelievable what I have accumulated over the years.
My oncologist feels I should never retire, but I turned 65 this year and I recently told him that next year will be my last year. I may still work part time on projects with the system and help out,but not full time. I also have two grandchildren and I want some time to spend with them.

As many of you know, I am also stage four, and one never knows when the ball will drop. We have received just too much sad news these past few months. In spite of the fact that I do not post that often, this website has has been an indescribable resource and support to me. I hope that after next year that I will have the opportunity to attend the San Antonio Conference and meet some of you. My dream is also to travel more and perhaps have the opportunity to meet some of my HER2 cyber friends personally.

Thank you again for all your support. I send all the best to those of you who continue to struggle and I hope that you find eventually be given the treatment that works.

Kind regards,
Barbara H.

[europa]

OMG, I had no idea she past away. I just saw some posts of hers. I'm shell shocked. She was one of the first to respond to a post I put up when I was first diagnosed and always commented on my dating saga after cancer. We lost a gem but I know she is flying through heaven having a blast right now. RIP dear Jessica. I will think of you often, you will not be forgotten for you have made an impact on so many on this site and around you.

[Midwest Alice]

I'm so sorry for her family.. Jessica will be missed here, I have enjoyed her post over my 4 years. this is a hard time.

[karen z]

If anyone knows anything about services for Jessica I would greatly appreciate it if you could post the information.
Best,
Karen Z

[StephN]

KarenZ - can you watch the Atlanta papers for on obit or notice?

[karen z]

Hi. I have been looking at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution off and on all day. As of a couple of hours ago....nothing yet. I will keep watching.
Best,
K

[karen z]

Hi. Still no news in the major paper in Atlanta.

[CoolBreeze]

Oh my gosh, she is a staple on this forum and I had no idea she was doing this poorly. I am so sorry for those who met her, who knew and loved her.

This is a horrible beast, cancer.

[ElaineM]

Thanks for this post. Wonderful and such a tribute to Jessica.

[Jackie07]

Found her very first posting on this site in 2006. What a wonderful soul!

Angela~
I'm so sorry that you're going thru the shock, disbelief, guilt, sadness and all the other confusing emotions that come with this disease.
I was diagnosed Stage IV (liver mets) since my primary dx in May 2002. It was particularly frightening because my perception of Stage IV disease was so dark & ominious. But I'd never met any Stage IV'er like ME!! If I knew then what I know NOW...!
I have continued to teach Pilates throughout (4 days after the initial lumpectomy,and also 6 days after a mastectomy, as well resumed teaching after a liver resection) w/a post-op drain still in place, stitches and even a portable pump w/a continuous IV for one treatment I was on, but most importantly, I have continued living well and being well. I hope and believe that being active & visible and sharing my experience with women (& a few men) who take my classes will help change their perceptions of this disease.
True, our journey as Stage IV'ers can be quite a bit bumpier that early stage BC'ers, with more complex treatment histories, more surgeries & procedures, requiring us to be more diligent about our care. And unfortunately as Stage IV'ers there is no 5-year mark to look towards to be deemed "CURED".
BUT very little of my life these past 4 1/2 years has actually felt dark & ominous! And you will find so many wonderful, knowledgable, empowered friends on this site who can say the same & offer you wisdom, encouragement, comfort & support, in every way possible. We all have continued to have full, rich, active lives as we are survivING this disease.
We know more today about this disease & her2 than we did even a short 5 years ago. We have more treatment options. We have longer term data to support our survivability. Be sure to check out Christine's note on 12/24 - so encouraging, SO EMPOWERING!
We are Changing the Face of Breast Cancer. And survival begins the day you're diagnosed, not after 5 years. I thank God for this site & am so grateful to Christine & Joe for the community they've created for us. And now I know I'm not a Stage IV Anomaly - I've found SO MANY women "like ME" here!

Stay strong, and when you can't, LEAN HARD!

Keep the Faith~
Jessica

[caya]

It's such a shock to see another sister earn her wings. I hope Jessica is soaring up there with the others we have recently lost here.

all the best
caya

[Mtngrl]

Sad, sad, sad.

I needed to know this, but I wish it were not true.

[suzan w]

We have had an overload of sadness. I am so sorry to learn about Jessica. It is always a shock.

[KristinSchwick]

She will live on in all our hearts.

[Pray]

Jessica is missed dearly! She gave so much of her self here. She always had so much love and support to share with all of us. She was an awesome fighter, she taught me how to fight. Gods blessings to her family. I can only imagine the loss her family must feel

[JillaryJill]

Jessica, I wish you eternal life in Heaven with our Lord.

[karen z]

By Michelle E. Shaw
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

For Jessica Malia Lucas, her enjoyment of life did not end just because doctors told her she had six months left to live. Armed with a diagnosis of stage four breast cancer at the age of 33, Lucas decided not to dwell on what the doctors said but on the things in life she wanted to experience.

“She wanted people to know that you could be a functioning person, and live your life with cancer,” said long-time friend Ellen Khoury. “She wanted to send that message so that people had hope, and that they wouldn’t think, ‘Oh I’m gonna die,’ as soon as they got diagnosed.”

In 2008, Lucas opened Intown Pilates, Khoury said. A certified Pilates instructor, Lucas regularly saw clients and taught classes.

“Her health went up and down, but she never quit,” her friend said. “By the fifth time she lost her hair, she was bummed, but she never had a pity party.”

Lucas took the six months doctors gave her and stretched it into 11 years. She blogged often, and just last month on the anniversary of her diagnosis Lucas posted that her time was filled with “breath taking highs & the heart breaking lows.”

“I will keep fighting, kicking and swinging, waiting for more treatment options to be approved and praying that a cure comes or this disease just stops and NED (no evidence of disease) stays forever,” she wrote on May 17. Lucas, of Atlanta, died June 6. She was 44. She requested her body be donated to MedCure, Inc. for scientific research.

A funeral mass is planned for 11 a.m. Saturday at Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church, Atlanta.

The youngest of four daughters of a diplomat, Lucas was born in Baton Rouge, La., but grew up all over the world. She attended Jakarta International School in Jakarta, Indonesia, and graduated high school in Virginia. She earned a bachelor’s degree in kinesiology, with plans to become a physical therapist, but something else caught her attention, one of her sisters said.

“She decided she wanted to act and dance,” said Johanna Lucas, of Sausalito, Calif.

Jessica Lucas’ acting career included credits with Harry Connick Jr., Richard Gere and Channing Tatum, her sister said.
Throughout her illness, Lucas continued to amaze and empower friends and family with her positive outlook on life.

“Of the many things she was, becoming a teacher and a hero were not things she asked for,” said friend Tommy Housworth. “But when confronted with her circumstances, she handled both of those roles with grace and generosity.”

In addition to her sister, Lucas is survived by her mother, Elena Lucas of Honolulu, Hawaii; and sisters, Janice Lucas Volk of Hermosa Beach, Calif., and Juliet Lucas of Honolulu, Hawaii.

[NEDenise]

Karen,
What a beautiful 'picture' of Jessica's life and spirit.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
Denise

[Paty]

Thank you for sharing Karen, what a wonderful tribute and description of amazing Jessica.

[SoCalGal]

Oh, Shocked, saddened, and yet, inspired. JML left a good "map" for living with stage 4 cancer...

[Shobha]

So sad to lose Jessica - She gave me so much strength during the times I would freak out over every little pain or pimple. It is difficult for me to believe she is no longer with us...just shocked right now...

[NEDenise]

Here's the link to the beautiful video Karen z posted:

http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/video?autoStart=true&topVideoCatNo=default&clipId=7081382

[dearjilly]

I am shocked, and sad. Jessica was truly an inspiration.

[Mtngrl]

Denise--Thanks for the alternate link to the video. Karen's didn't work by the time I saw it.

Stupid cancer.

But--a life well lived. That's really all any of us can hope for, right?

[rinaina]

So very sorry to hear of yet another one of our her2 sisters demise. It saddens me how many have lost their battle. I like to think they are all carrying on now in a better place without sickness.

[Adriana Mangus]

Hi everyone,

I don't know what to say, I have been away for awhile on a dream vacation that I had to put on hold for the longest six years of my life due to my husband's stroke in October 2007.

I feel so blessed I was able to fulfill this dream and enjoyed a long European vacation with my daughter Michelle. We had a great time!!!

Frankly I haven't been visiting the site lately, not because I don't care, I do, but I'm scared knowing that my disease has progressed and I know eventually there will be a point of no return. I'm scared.

I just read about Jessica's passing; before it was Brenda. The statistics don't lie, at least for us stage IV's, even though I considered myself a very especial and unique patient in that I haven't experienced any symptoms since the return of my disease in 2003. Even my oncologist is surprised at how long my body has been able to take all different type of drugs with minimum or no side effects. But, can't help to feel scared with the knowledge that there is no cure, at least not an immediate cure at this stage.

I want to thank everyone on this site who has been with me from the beginning of my disease; I consider you all my friends-- you know who you are.

One in particular who's no longer with us deserves my most profound gratitude and love, with her encouragement and words of compassion she made my treatments much, much easier to take--our very especial angel Sheila!!!

Thank you everyone for your love and support.

[LeighHa]

My name is Leigh Hays and I live in Atlanta. Jessica was my bestie, my sister from another mister. I was sharing Jessica's story with someone and they asked if they could share her story. As i was googling her for links of her story for him, this post came up. It's taken me all of this time since her passing to have any strength to pop in here and say hello.

Most of all, I wanted to share with you all, how much you all and this group meant to Jessica. She was often quiet about you all in terms of details but she would mention bits and pieces and most of all how much you helped and supported her.

Her dog - Polo - came to live with me. He is doing well (snoring as i type this) and will turn 11 yr in March. He visits his favorite places and people still here in Atlanta. My boy - Gus - and Polo had a bromance and he often stayed here while Jessica traveled. And the four of us would often walk the dogs and hang out.

Her family of friends in Atlanta (and across the country) still gather and celebrate her. Jan 4 she would've turned 47 yrs. and we had our potluck lunch just like we did with Jessica. She is still a strong presence for us and a testament to her fierceness and generous spirit that we all still gather together to celebrate her and have a slice of cake. I'm still strongly tied to JML's family. They are well and like everyone - miss her enormously.

Best to you all - Leigh

[europa]

Hi!
When I saw this thread pop back up it made me smile because I got to scroll through some of our angels that have left us. And we've had many amazing women leave this world. Jessica is one. Thank you for posting on our board. I remember emailing with Jessica about dating of all things. I really miss her. When she died I bought an orchid and named it JML. When she blooms I always feel like Jessica is gracing my home with her spirit.

Give a belly rub to Polo from me.

Thanks again for posting.

[lkc Gumby]

Thank you for sharing. Jessica was much loved on these boards. I loved her spirit. She is missed along with all of the other dear sisters.

[Mtngrl]

Leigh,

Thanks for stopping by. It's great to know her in-person friends still hold her in their hearts.

Happy birthday, Jessica.

Amy

[Laurel]

Leigh,

Thank you for popping on and letting us know a bit about how Jessica's world flows on in her absence. She was vibrant and so helpful to others in our cyber family. I am so happy to know that her friends gather to honor her memory. Happy Birthday, Jessica, on the other side!

[jra40]

Yes, thank you Leigh for keeping Jessica's spirit alive and sharing with us. I have to say it was great to see the post and NEDenise's thread pop up. Miss them :(