update I hate to give (with a little more positive spin)

[chrisy]

Well sisters, and brothers...

Looks like I'm teetering on the edge of acute liver failure. I'm still fighting and so far on the right side of the grass, but facing some very scary times.

Ironically, the TACE procedure I had done a few weeks ago actually worked, stopping cancer growth in the small area they did. So that was good news.

The not good news is that the "untreated" areas which were massive continued to "flourish" and sprout new little tumors to the degree that the rest of my liver is just crashing big time. Today my total bili was over 10 from 8.1 Tuesday.

Tuesday was a rather startling day when my onc (who was running 2 1/2 hours behind) looked at me and said "this is it. Your liver is disentegrating. We can give you low dose eribulin, which might land you in the hospital and make you feel sick but might help. I asked what was the alternative and the answer was do nothing, hospice.

So it has been a tearful week realizing my timer might be about to ding. Really hard on my hubby and so also on me because I love him so and hate to see him hurting and feeling that his life is over, too. Hard on my sister and niece as well. I don't fear death, and know it will all make sense from the "other side" but it is so painful to be causing pain to those I love most.

So I'm trying the eribulin and rushing to finish some trust issues...what a dope. About the last minute paperwork that is!

I love you all and am so grateful for the lifeline this group has been for me for so many years.

Will continue to check in as able, so you keep behaving yourselves! The fat lady hasn't sung yet.

Much love
Chris

[Mtngrl]

Oh, Chris. Oh, no.

I'm so sorry. So sad. For you. For your family. For us.

But I can't tell you how grateful I am. To have known you. And to know you love all of us enough to take the time to tell us this. You get it. We're all in this together forever. It's a community. It's a family.

I love you.

Amy

[Mary Anne in TX]

Chris, I'm so sad. This just can't be true. I'm sending you lots of love and also thanks for being you and sharing that you with us. Meeting you at the San Antonio Conference was such a gift to me. It made me so committed to being my own advocate and researcher. You are one very special lady. I'm praying for a Big Miracle. Love and peace in bundles, ma

[KDR]

Chrisy,
You know we have always had a connectedness. Writing to you now, I feel the same way I did when my horse decided not to take a jump and screeched to a halt in front of it. What was that? I am truly stumped on what to say.
But I love you, feel for you, admire you, hold hands with you, and cry for you. Rule out what's influencing the bili numbers, it could just be the new drug...
Chrisy edited and so did I!
With love,
Karen

[chrisy]

Just rereading my post...what a downer it was! So not my style. So I changed it a little.

Forgot to add...the eribulin also increases bilirubin. So although it's very precarious there's questions.

[StephN]

Dear Chris -
I feared your silence meant that things were not going so well. You have been and continue to be very brave and plunge on battle after battle.

When I thought my timer was nearing the dinging point a few years back, I could see all the pain and suffering in the eyes of my family and loved ones. That brought me up short. They tried so hard to be helpful and not show their feelings, but it comes through all the same. It is very hard to reassure your close ones at that stage, but you will do it through love and grace.

My "papers" were not ready either, and that seemed more of reaction to a death knell than tidying up in any event.

My prayers are with you. I will never forget the great time we had as roomies at the swanky spa Miraval. We were free to be ourselves, wander the grounds, have spa services and wonderful treatments like the watsu we discovered. That was WAY back in early January of 2008.

[dawny]

Chris, thanks for updating us, even though you don't like to give us bad news, I can tell. Fingers and toes crossed that the eribulin works for you, and will give you more time. You are an inspiration on this board, full of knowledge, humor and hope
Dawn xxx

[NEDenise]

Chris,
As you once said to me...I will always be proud to be one of your peeps. Prayers are still headed your way, along with loads of love. You have been a lifeline for me on more than one occasion...and I hope my love and prayers are a comfort to you as you fight this latest, most unfair battle. Cancer sucks! What an inadequate understatement that is!

I'm counting on that one set of footsteps to carry you, and make you feel safe, and loved. Rest easy...but lean hard.

Love you, Chris
Denise

[Joan M]

Chrisy, Crap!!! And you know that doesn't really do justice to what I want to write. Love you always, girl. Joan

[europa]

I am dumbfounded ...speechless. You have always chimed in to my worries and boohoo moments and I love you dearly for being as unique and fabulous as you are. But sista....the fat lady has not sung yet. So hike up your nickers and get that eribulin.

[Paty]

Chrisy,
I am so sorry to hear the news, all we can have is hope. I will be praying so this hard time with the medication willnot be as difficult. You have been one of the great examples that BC has given me. I will be praying. Sending you hugs and all my love.

Paty

['lizbeth]

Chrisy,

Oh I wish that you had received better news. You are very brave in a tough situation.

My husband just had an MRI on his liver this week because it looked "wavy". He comes home from work today with a stomach ache and I'm thinking this is so not good. I did some energy work and Thai abdominal work and he started feeling much better. Then the hospital calls and he gets the all clear on the MRI. Wow. Such a huge relief. So unexpected as he enjoys enough wine to pickle the darn thing. I feel like we dodged a bullet.

What the heck, the Erubilin might be your Unicorn. Maybe the fat lady won't get to sing. On the bright side, your paperwork will be done and you won't have to worry about it.

Sending you love and healing energy

[tricia keegan]

Chrisy you're a fighter and won't call halt until the end, keep on fighting girl!!!!

[Jean]

Chrisy,
I am praying hard for you, your husband and family.
I have admired your grace and strength. I am hoping that we will hear better news.

Hugs,
Jean

[karen z]

Chrisy,
I have spent enough time with you in San Antonio to know that in addition to hearing news you did not want to hear.........that it was likely quite difficult to post your news on the board. I am glad you are going to do eribulin and please do not worry that your post is a "downer". You are lots of things you are (bright, funny, brave, strong) but not someone who puts a negative spin on everything (or really anything). Please post when you can and let us know what is going on. I can imagine how difficult it is for you to watch your family worry during this time. Just love them and let them love you and be your wonderful self.
With love, thoughts and prayers in my mind and heart.
Karen Z

[Ceesun]

Chrisy, I don't know what to say exactly so I will just stumble around...because I cannot remain silent where you are concerned. I have admired your thoughts and comments over the many years on this board...and so very happy that you did so well on tdm1 for several years...good quality time. Please push on a little more...you have given me (us) faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love...( Ceesun ) Cathy

[LoisLane]

Chrisy that post was not a downer. You are one amazing woman. Your acceptance of this progress is given to us with honesty, courage and absolute
strength. I dont know what else to say. It is women like you who guide us here and help us so much. Your posts have made me smile so many times, along with all you other lovely people here. Blessings to you beautiful Chrisy xo

[CoolBreeze]

I'm so sorry Chrisy. I have often wondered how on earth I will be able to tell my family when that day finally comes for me. I hope I can do it with as much grace as you have. If we didn't have our families, this wouldn't be such a terrible thing to face, would it?

Good luck with your paperwork. I'm hoping that eribulin gives you a lot of time to finish it.

[suzan w]

Oh my...What brave words you have written. Peace and love to you.

[dchips1]

prayers for you and your family.

Darita

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Cure Liver Damage (http://www.earthclinic.com/CURES/liver_damage.html)

I am beside myself. In googling for some hope for you, which
you must cling to
-- I found this link above.

It's my feeble attempt to offer you food for thought. And HOPE! You are a star. Your radiance and down to earth humor shine on us all, all the time. We're all so blessed to have you. And, we're not letting go so fast.

Your family is scared. That's what you're seeing. I have seen that fear in my husband and daughters. The love that spews up and out is palpable. Focus on the love, Chrisy. Show them what you're made of. Reach for anything you can to get you out of this mess!

I live in hope. You live in hope. Don't stop now. Hospice? I don't think so. It's too unfathomable for me to think. Not Chrisy. No way.

My heart is out of my body and with you in California, dear friend. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and my love, as always, and forever...
Andi

[Pamelamary]

Chris, I am so saddened by your news, but awed by your grace and courage.
Thinking of you..... Pam

[KsGal]

Oh, Chrisy..nooo. :( I am truly saddened to hear the words your doctor spoke to you. I can't pretend to know exactly how you feel, but I do know that leaving my family and seeing them suffer and hurt is the worst part of this whole damned thing. This just isn't fair, none of it is. I will send lots of prayers, and I still believe in miracles and hope you do too.

[Catherine]

Chrisy, You are our standup, lie-down comic. You tell it like it is with wisdom, humor and honesty. No one would ever consider you a downer. You can sing off key if you want, but you are not closing down this bar. We will sing with you as you tell your liver to reboot. You are a doll and we all need you. Take good care of yourself and know that all of us are delighted to be your friend and allie. (sp)

Hugs,hope, prayers and miracles!

[Debbie L.]

Chris, only you would judge your original post to be a "downer". Your news, of course, is a downer. But your spirit shining so brightly thru it, as always -- NOT a downer at all.

Sending love and good thoughts. That does not sound like nearly enough but it's all we can do.

Much love to you,
Debbie Laxague

[Emy]

Christ,
I was praying the TACE procedure would work, I thought it was for the whole liver....Stay strong and fight....
With love,
Eileen

[Jackie07]

Chris,

Hand in there. Eribulin sounds like a winner ...

Am J Health Syst Pharm. (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22517020#) 2012 May 1;69(9):745-55. doi: 10.2146/ajhp110237.
Eribulin mesylate: a novel halichondrin B analogue for the treatment of metastatic breast cancer.

McBride A (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=McBride%20A%5BAuthor%5D&cauthor=true&cauthor_uid=22517020), Butler SK (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=Butler%20SK%5BAuthor%5D&cauthor=true&cauthor_uid=22517020).
Source

Arthur G. James Cancer Hospital, Richard J. Solove Research Institute, The Ohio State University, Columbus, 43212, USA. alimcbride@gmail.com

Abstract

PURPOSE:

The pharmacology, pharmacokinetics, clinical efficacy, safety, and administration of eribulin in patients with metastatic breast cancer are reviewed.
SUMMARY:

Classical chemotherapeutic agents for breast cancer have dominated treatment regimens even in the era of targeted therapy. Disease progression through these agents is often due to the development of resistance or lack of efficacy with these agents. Recently, a new nontaxane agent, eribulin mesylate, was approved for the treatment of metastatic breast cancer in patients who have received at least two prior chemotherapeutic agents.

Eribulin is a member of a new class of synthetic cytotoxic agents derived from the Japanese sea sponge Halichondria okadai. Eribulin differs from other antimicrotubule agents in that it can bind to the microtubule cap and inhibit tubulin polymerization, leading to microtubule arrest. In Phase II clinical trials, eribulin demonstrated activity in extensively pretreated patients who had previously received an anthracycline, taxane, and capecitabine and had shown disease progression within the last six months of treatment.

In a pivotal Phase III clinical trial of heavily pre-treated patients, patients who received eribulin versus the physician's treatment of choice showed a significant increase in overall and progression-free survival. Eribulin has a manageable adverse-effect profile, consisting mainly of neutropenia and fatigue. Eribulin has been associated with a low incidence of peripheral neuropathy.
CONCLUSION:

Eribulin, a novel synthetic antimicrotubule agent that binds to the vinca domain of tubulin and inhibits the polymerization of tubulin, offers a new treatment option for metastatic breast cancer or locally advanced breast cancer.

[michka]

Dear Chris. I just can't find the words. It is a shock. I just don't want this to be happening to you. You opened the way for me with your TDM1 success. When my liver was stopping and was close to the end, I fought to find TDM1 beause your story, Chris, was hope for me. You always answered all my questions. And today I am alive and well. Oh, how I hope Eribulin will stop this progresion. Allow your liver to try TDM1 again, give you time. I hope you are not suffering although I can imagine how you feel in your body and in your head. I am sending strength, hope and love. Michka

[Ellie F]

Don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. I am so sad to read this news. You have always been one of the ppl who have been so inspiring and caring for others even when having a tough time yourself. I am praying for more time and a miracle!
Hugs
Ellie

[Bunty]

Chrisy, I too was worried about not hearing an update from you, but you have again given a heartfelt post of your current place. I have always loved to read your posts and feel that you are connected to so many people here - you are a blessing. I really hope the eribulin works for you my friend......
Much love Marie x

[Redwolf8812]

I have no words, just prayers. You're one of my heroes.

- Penny

[Midwest Alice]

Chrisy, what a blessing you are! Praying for you

[jaykay]

Crap, f'ing cancer.

Lots of brave and strong ladies on this board and you are right up there. Keep fighting

Janis

[schoonder]

Chrisy,
I don't know what I'm talking about, but since you did so well on t-dm1, have been off the drug for some time, knowing so many things still aren't fully understood about cancer, I would question my onc before throwing in the towel, if kadcyla could be tried once more. One never knows.

[vballmom]

Love, hugs, prayers and positive healing thoughts coming your way.

[Mtngrl]

Chris,

Ditto to what others said above.

I agree that the toughest thing about this disease is knowing it, and my likely eventual demise from it, will cause others to suffer. I want so much to protect the people I love, and I can't.

Ultimately, all anyone can hope for is a life well lived. You, Chris, have achieved that. Your humor, compassion, dedication, loyalty, fierceness, and love shine through everything you write on this board. You set the standard for what it means to be a member of a support group.

I will never forget you. I will try, no matter what course my own cancer journey follows, to emulate your example and be a gift to others.

Your love is what will make it possible for those who love you to go on after you are no longer with them. The way you have lived your life is your legacy. You can rest assured that you have run the race extremely well.

[LeahM]

I am so sorry to hear this news. I will join the others in prayer.
Leah

[caya]

So sorry to hear about this dear Chrisy.
You have been such a Warrior Woman, fighter, esprit de coeur, you are AMAZING!
I am praying that the eribulin works, and add my thoughts that perhaps TDM1 can be given another chance.

Sending hugs and prayers from Canada, I'm sure PinkGirl will be doing the same.

all the best
caya

[PatE]

Chrisy,
Just wanted to say that I am thinking of you, praying for the new med to be the answer. You inspire me to fight this disease with your sage advice and whitty commentary. You are a survivor!
Sending hugs and healing vibes your way.
Pat

[SoCalGal]

"acute liver failure" At least it's cute - gotta be easier than having ugly liver failure. Okay, I am grasping at hay straws, not liking this news at all, but respecting your courage in posting.

I have spent my life avoiding "good-byes" so I'll just say that if I hear a fat lady singing, I'll join in one chorus to show solidarity. In the meantime, I will pray for you to feel peace and continue to have strength. You show such grace and courage.

I have so much respect and admiration for you, and I am so sorry that you were given such bad news. Perhaps the Erube will give you some more time, without being too harsh - I certainly hope so. I am sure that you are surrounded by love, loving husband and loving family and friends. That is really what life comes down to - love. I have no words of wisdom, I feel heart broken that you are going thru this and I am grateful for our connection, our friendship and all your support over the years. My mom always said, "don't write the ending" so I'll keep that in mind and look forward to your updates as you're able...Sending much love, healing light, energy and wishes for a miracle. Flori

[ammebarb]

Thinking of you Chrisy......

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Don't write the ending...

Wow Flori, I am writing that one down and posted it around my house.

Chris, gotta say, acute has new meaning for me. Hope it does for you too.

Take the love, lots of supplements (to de-toxify and boost your much beleaguered immune system, fight off free radicals, blah, blah, de blah...) and the erube.

I will add intense prayers in your name, my love as always and healing energy -- to help you reboot your liver.

Talk to it. In Eat Pray Love the medicine man talked about being happy in your liver.

Tell your liver to get it together. It hears everything you think, say or whisper. And -- it knows exactly what to do, even if you can't be specific! Honest!!

This is my positive spin coming at you from Boca...

Big, long, tight hug,

Andi

[Mary Jo]

I've known you since I joined in 2005, too. Couldn't let this post go bye without me saying......I'm sorry for all you've been struggling with. It's hard when we see our loved ones hurting. That's the worst part I think. Only God knows when the "ding" will be "dung!" And you are right, "it will all make sense from the "other side," HOWEVER, only He knows when it's time for you to meet Him their....until that time.....prayers for you, my friend. He's got this....He's working in your life.....may His peace be what brings you joy as you journey on. Love to you my sweet "sister!"

Mary Jo

[Gerri]

Oh Chris, this is not the news I wanted to hear.

Like Mary Jo, I joined the board many years ago and always looked forward to reading your posts. Throughout the years, you have graced us with your wit, wisdom and warmth. You are one of the HER2 elite who will leave your imprint forever in the hearts of all who were so fortunate to have you touch our lives. I remember back to the silly fun we had with PinkGirl, Shelia, Brenda, Bill, Lee, and many others. I found an old thread last night (the one with "spray cheese") and read through it - it had me laughing all over again.

I am sending you much love and my most fervent prayers that this new treatment will keep you on the right side of the grass where you belong.

Thank you Chris. I am filled with love and graditude for all you have given us.

[Mandamoo]

Chrisy I don't know what to say. You are a beacon of hope for so many of us. I hate that you are going through this right now. I am in awe of your fearlessness.
You are loved by so many even way down here.
Be well.
A x

[BonnieR]

Well, crap on a crapstick! Which I learned to say right here and find myself saying way too often. Might have heard it from you. Anyway, I go away for a few days and come back to this miserable turn of events. But, as always, you express yourself with such grace and insight and hope. Lets stifle the fat singing lady. And, you know, we probably should all have our papers in order anyway in the event we get hit by the proverbial bus.
I don't know what else to say except I love you and to keep the faith, no matter what

[Barbara H.]

Hi Chris,
I have been checking in everyday to hear how you were doing, and like others have said so eloquently, this is also not the news that I wanted to hear. You have been such a kind and sincere caring role model in handling what life with this disease has dealt you, as well as the encouragement that you have provided others on this site. I sincerely feel for you and what you are facing, and admire your tenacity to try another difficult treatment.

I know that you have already had Tykerb, but you did not have it with Herceptin. That is the combination that worked for me after I had to go off TDM-1 due to lung inflammation. Perhaps since we both had a long run with TDM-1, our cancers may have some similarities. There may be minimal possibility that the combination would work well enough for enough weeks to allow you to allow you to apply for another trial. As you know, Tykerb also adds the additional protection to the brain.

By offering this suggestion, I am by no means negating the precarious and current situation in your life. My heart goes out to both you and to your family. I will never forget you and your wisdom and your concern for me and the others on this site.

You will continue to be in my thoughts.
Kind regards,
Barbara H.

[Sdgirl]

I just wanted to add my hugs. I really hope Halaven works for you. I am thinking of you and your family.

[suzan w]

How are you doing today? Thinking of you with love...birthday twin July 11...you 'n me

[CoolBreeze]

FWIW: I was on eribulin and it was an easy chemo. Easy given that I was not in liver failure, of course. I hope that gives you some comfort: that even if it doesn't work, it shouldn't cause horrible side effects. The only one I really had was sleeping a lot and if you are having liver problems you are probably doing that anyway.

How about staying on top of the grass for a bit. It's warm and sunny and it tickles.

[ElaineM]

I am sad after reading your news. I hope the new drug helps you to keep putting one foot in front of the other for a long time.
I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and I will remember you in my prayers.
Hugs to you and those you love

[Laurel]

Chris,

I have been worrying and holding my breath like Steph. You know I love and admire you so much. You have blessed me and touched us all here on Her2Support. So listen, Kiddo, you go ahead and get those papers in order and tidy up any loose ends, but I am not placing you down for the count just yet. Still praying and believing!

[sassy]

Chrisy,

So not what I hoped to find after being away a couple of days.

Just praying, praying, praying.

I have faith and I have faith in you.

[mamacze]

Dear Sweet Angel,
I am so touched by your difficult, honest, salty, and brave words. Thank you for not "sparing us". You are at the door step that we are all walking toward. You are speaking the words that we all have felt or will eventually feel in our hearts. It is hard to face this doorway. It is harder to say goodbye to the ones we love and who love us. I can only hope for a reunion someday. I dream about having the rowdiest, glass clinking, girl talking, girls-night-out every time a Her2 girl passes through that door.
I pray that you stay with your family - and selfishly with us- for a longer time. I pray that you feel good and feel peace while you are with us.
But honey, when you do pass through that door; you kick up your heels, you fly and you can bet that when it is our turn to follow you through, we will be stomping our feet and calling out your name. You are not alone on this side and if we can help it; you will NOT be alone on the other. God speed to you; beautiful soul..... You are such a beautiful soul. How much love you have nurtured here and just see how it ripples forward.
Love and hugs and hope and prayers holding you and holding you,
Kim (from CT)

[Mtngrl]

What Kim (Mamacze) said.

You'll always be a part of us. We will always be together.

[yanyan]

Thinking of you and praying for you Chrisy...

[Becky]

Aw Chrisy. I am late to the response on this one. Sometimes there are no words to say. You paved the way for many who come after you with all the trials you bravely participated in. I do not believe there still is not an answer for you. But you have my love and thoughts and prayers.

[JillaryJill]

thinking of you and praying for you Chrisy. Please be assured you have lots of love, prayers and support from all of us.

[Bill]

I'm really sorry to hear this latest news. You hang in there, Young Lady. You're always in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you're having a good day. You have helped us all through so much. Love you, Bill

[Ruth]

Chrisy,Thank you for letting everyone know with your honest and thoughtful words. You always made me smile with your wit and loving personality. I come back and visit this website to check on you and some other loving caring women that I first "met" so long ago. You are truly so very special and have helped hundreds of people to have hope, knowledge and laughter in some dark days. I hope more than anything that you don't suffer from pain and can spend loving time with your family. We all are headed to that other side and I sure hope I get to meet you there. I pray your liver can heal itself to give you some more time. We all love you very much.
Ruth

[ammebarb]

Thinking of you and praying, Chrisy.

[Mtngrl]

What I learned from you, Chris, is that sometimes the only appropriate response is, "Crap on a crapstick."

Cancer sucks.

[mmoons]

Chrisy-

I thank you, Chrisy, for how positively you have touched me with your words and your heart every single time you posted. Your wonderfulness would fall out all over the minute you said something. You are truly remarkable. And I love you. And I pray that you have peace and that your husband can find peace. What a gift you are, dear Chrisy.

Maureen

[ElaineM]

Still thinking of you Chrisy. I remember you in my prayers and I still have my fingers crossed that the latest chemo is working.
I hardly ever make suggestions, but I was wondering if you have considered seeing a licensed nutritionist or a licensed naturopathic physician in addition to your MDs. One of those other medical professionals might be able to provide some extra help to help your body and especially your liver stay as strong as possible during and after your treatments.
I have been seeing a licensed naturopathic physician who is also a licensed acupuncturist for over 14 years. He has provided so much help and has contributed greatly to my survival. I definitely made the right choice when I decided to include him on my medical team.
Typing with crossed fingers is interesting !!! Try it sometime. Smile.

[Bill]

Hugs, Chris, I hope you're having a good day. Just wanted to say hi and let you know you're in our thoughts.

[NEDenise]

Sending love and light your way!
BOLD prayers still ascending...pounding on heaven's gates for you my dear friend!!
Denise

[Mary Anne in TX]

Much love to you Chris. May lots of blessings chase you down today.

[BonnieR]

Sending loving thoughts. Keep the faith, today and always

[Kellennea]

Sending prayers up. Stupid cancer, I hate it!

[Patb]

Just got on the computer after two weeks. I am so
saddened by the news. Please let the new treatment
give you time to talk to us and enjoy your family. I
wish you the best with all the healing light I can send.
I hope you know my heart is breaking.
patb

[Mtngrl]

Chris,

Thinking of you and wishing you peace and the warm embrace of those who love you most.

Grace abounds.

[whatz]

Chris,
Mntngrl said it...grace abound! Love,
Me

[europa]

Chris, how are you? I was thinking of you today and wanted to see how you were.

[Kim in CA]

Chrisy,
I'm sending you love and I'm praying hard for you, and your family, every day.

Kim

[StephN]

Good morning Chrisy -

Teetering or tottering, I know you are making every effort to stay this side of balanced.
Certainly you have extremely important things to attend to, but while you do we hope you are feeling the love from here.

[AlaskaAngel]

No one here works at life with more careful consideration, determination, and integrity than you, Chrisy.

AlaskaAngel

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

And Steph nails my sentiments exactly -- yet again! Only she says it so eloquently!!!!

I think we're all thinking of you, Chrisy. Allll day...

Would you consider seeing Dr. Nagourney out there in holistic cancer land in Calif? Oncologist/researcher with some stunning ways of looking at each individual's cancer cells and finding the exact way to treat it with the least toll on the patient. I am reading his book, OUTLIVING CANCER, and I am in love from page 1.

Big hugs,

ANDI

[DonnaD]

Dear Chrisy,
I don't know what to say, except life is not fair. I hate this disease! So sorry to hear your latest news. You have me smiling and then tears. My stomach has been in a knot since I read your post.

So many thoughts: how Loren had a room full ladies in our room in San Antonio, your Sheila meteor, you running from seminar to seminar to learn as much as you could not only for yourself but all of us who are Her2+, Beet juice, purple purses, Tip Toe and Genentech cookies.

You are an inspiration to me and so so many others. Thank you. Strong prayers coming your way and all who love you.

Donna

[CarolineC]

Chrisy, thinking about you alot and hoping that Courtenay, Brenda, Sheila, Kris, and Emelie (and other heavenly lights) are working their magic to direct someone to help you get better SOON.

Someone posted recently in another thread about metformin working on liver mets? What about a naturopathic onc?

I'm sending many healing thoughts,

Caroline

[suzan w]

Sending love and good vibrations.

[Laurel]

Thinking of you, kiddo. Wearing my rally cap!

[dearjilly]

Chrisy,
I'm rubbing my buddha's belly for you.
Sending you hugs.
Jill

[BonnieR]

Beginning the week with good thoughts and prayers. Keep the faith today and always
With love.

[europa]

Thinking of you dear friend.

[jml]

Oh Chris!
NoNoNoNoNO! That is all I can hear screaming in my head as the shocked,
frightened, heartbroken tears run down my cheeks. I'm sorry I can't put on
braver face right now, but I am devastated, selfishly devastated by this news.
I have been away from the boards for a few weeks now, dealing with all the
minutiae & frustrations of this stupid disease so to learn this, 10+ days since post - I'm in shock.
I wish I could be more eloquent right now and express the millions of things that are in my heart and head, let you know how important you've been to me in so many ways, for all of these years and how I wish we could have met in Book club or Garden club or just about any other club in the world so that we be connected...
You have been not only my inspiration, guide, educator, mentor, comic relief, but my Sister in Arms and I am not ready to let you go.
Regardless of what I want, what I really want it is whatever YOU want-prayers, peace, comfort for you an your family, anything, everything.
I am still Keeping the Faith, my friend, my sister,

Jessica

ps-we've spoken before briefly about my Traditional Chinese Medicine doc in San Anselmo, Marin County, who has guided me with my complimentary meds through the ~11yrs of my dx-his name is Michael Broffman at the Pine Street clinic...please turn to him for help & guidance if you are so inclined & able. He is available by phone and completely up to date in the new BC drugs, just approved and what's coming down the pipeline.

[alicem]

I too am late to this news, not having checked in for a while. This is beyond crap on a crapstick and I really am at a loss for words. Is it okay if I just say DITTO for what Jessica just wrote? I so appreciate your sharing this with all of us, because you mean so much to all of us. Now its time to go find the kleenix...

My friend, I'm sending you warm hugs, special prayers and loads and loads of love.

~With Love, Alice

[Adriana Mangus]

Dear Chrissy,

I'm so sorry, I have no words to express my feelings and emotions, can't find the right words to tell you how much I
wish this wasn't happening. It seems there is still a drug to help you out - stay strong and think positive, - I know you can do it!

Love and light, hugs.

Adriana

[Midwest Alice]

Christy, thinking of you tonight. have a restful evening. Sending a hug

[Bill]

Hi Chris! Just sending a hug your way. I hope you're having a good day.

[sassy]

Still sending up lots of prayers and good, healing thoughts to you Chrissy.

[Mary Jo]

Think of you every day, Chrissy!

Peace to you, my friend,

Mary Jo

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Yes Chrisy every day. Often throughout each day. YOU are in my head.

Hoping to receive word from you. Believing in your coping skills, your imaginative way of moving forward, your open mind and your loving Spirit, Chrisy.

Andi

[turbo]

Thank you for being an inspiration and always positive ..you have inspired many. prayers are out for some more magic and time.

[karen z]

Chrissy,
Sending along thoughts and prayers to you. I am thinking of you every day.
Love,
Karen z

[ammebarb]

I too think of you often and pray for you daily, Chrissy. Sending gentle hugs.

Barb A.

[KsGal]

Still praying and sending positive energy. ((hugs))

[SoCalGal]

thinking of you. sending love.

[Vicky]

Chrissy~ just wanted to add my prayers and voice to all the others. As I scroll through the list of all those leaving such encouraging and loving words- I am reminded of all the love and hope, wit and intellect, you shared with us. You've profoundly influenced so many and I pray you fully feel how much of an impact you've had. Blessings and love to you.

[ElaineM]

Still thinking of you and hoping you are doing well.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going no matter what.
By the way, have you ever considered milk thistle or dandelion for liver detox? I have taken it everyday since my diagnosis and believe it has helped my liver stay healthy.
Take good care of yourself. Let us know how you are doing.

[chrisy]

Hey guys, quick update still along growing. Tour posts - and suggestionsare much appreciated and on the radar should we accomplish the goal of keep ongoing my liver function while under such rudest. Mouth sores afr mob main buggabo right now. I'm basically on a liquid diet but not enough to really get ahead. Trying my best.

I LOVE you all and am sending you this cyber hug

chris

[Laurel]

So happy and relieved to see your post, Chrisy! I am afraid I have no suggestions, except for milk thistle in large doses and protein (whey added) smoothies or milkshakes.

Prayers continue. Love you.

[Bunty]

Chrisy, so good to hear from you - I've been praying for you every day...... I know I bang on about it, but if you are able to access it, maybe try acupuncture.

You are amazing, and sending you lots of healing love.

Marie

[NEDenise]

Chris!
Thank you! Thank you! for the update!! You truly are a ROCK STAR to check in with us!
Couldn't love or admire you more, my friend! You have made my day! No, my whole weekend!

Still banging on heaven's door...shhhh....I think someone may actually be listening....but I don't want to jynx it...

Oh...BTW...you mentioned way back, that the 'fat lady' had not sung...well I checked with Adele, the only 'fat lady' worthy of singing for my dear Chris IMHO...and she's booked solid for the foreseeable future, sooooo looks like you'll have to put that whole thing on hold anyway. :) Good to know...right?

Love and a gentle hug coming across the country! Drink up!
Denise

[caya]

Thanks for checking in dear Chrisy.
Still sending prayers, hugs and lots of love.
Keep strong, keep up the fight, Warrior Woman.

all the best
caya

[karen z]

So glad to read your post Chrissy. I don't have great advice for some of the specifics but just wanted you to know I am thinking of you constantly and sending my best thoughts, many prayers and returning that big cyber hug.
love,
karen z

[BonnieR]

So happy to hear that you are keeping the faith! Sending you prayers and love
Bonnie

[Ceesun]

Chrissy, .......and the greatest of these is love......Ceesun

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

The light shines even in the darkness. The darkness has not overcome it...


Love and Light,
Andi

[suzan w]

Thinking of you tonight!

[Paula O]

Nice to hear from you Chris. I hope the mouth sores clear up quickly.

Hear's to great success of your treatment plan!

Paula

[Mary Jo]

Cyber hugs back at ya, Chrissy, my friend.

Mary Jo

[Laurel]

Thinking of you, Kiddo.

[sassy]

Love to you Chrissy.

[mamacze]

I too am thinking about you tonight Chrissy. I love the image of all these beautiful women holding you fast and tight in such a world wide cyber hug. I hope you feel the love and peace.
XO
Kim (from CT)
ps Caphasol mouth rinse has been a miracle cure for my chemo induced mouth sores; can they order it stat for you?

[karen z]

Hi Chrissy,
Thinking of you today and all days.

Love,
karen z

[Adriana Mangus]

Chrissy,

Love you too sister, hang in there please.

Adriana

[karen z]

Hi Chrissy,
Just saying hi and that we all love you.
karen z

[BonnieR]

Adding my thoughts Keep the faith. We love you

[SoCalGal]

Thanks for the update...one thought:
Have they mentioned a feeding tube? An acquaintance of mine was resistant to a feeding tube---as I imagine I would be, too. But--the tube allowed them to keep her nourished while her throat healed from radiation. (She had a bad throat cancer sitch). That was over a year ago. She is fine now, they removed the tube once she could eat again.

Don't know if you considered that but thought I'd mention. Perhaps a matching tube, depends, hearing aid, reading glasses and a cane. I know you're fond of the cheese whiz. Maybe you can get a custom color match to cheese whiz orahnge. I think it's basically Tang orange with a 10% screen back. Also the neons are really big right now!

In my google research I see a picture of a dog wearing the cone of humiliation and a feeding tube. I am not sure if he ate the tube, as Rocky would, or if its for medical reason. Don't know if its on its way in or out. Perhaps the cone is because he eats feeding tubes. He looks quite healthy not counting the cone and the tube.

Well, sorry for the long post when you are no doubt too tired to read all this crap on or off the stick. Sitting and getting my infusion today.
Sending love and big hugs. And prayers. I think of you all the time...
Flori

[BonnieR]

Flori, good idea. Why not just administer Cheez Whiz directly thru IV?
Seriously, thinking good thoughts and saying prayers. Keep the faith

[SoCalGal]

Just overheard the woman next to me talking about her feeding tube. A sign? Have to go peek around the curtain and see if she seems friendly...

[KsGal]

I wish I had ideas or suggestions..but I only know what has already been brought up. On the high ammonia levels with the liver that was mentioned by someone in an earlier post, they treated my father with lactulose when he was in the hospital to clear the ammonia levels.
Big cyber hugs back at you. You haven't given up, and that means you are wide open to receive a miracle, so Im going to pray that your miracle is right around the corner. <3

[Mtngrl]

Chris,

I love you and I'm praying for you. Thank you so much for posting an update.

[karen z]

Hey Chrissy,
Just saying hi and that I am thinking of you. Much love to you.
Karen Z

[ammebarb]

Thinking of you and praying regularly, Chrissy. Hugs.

Barb A.

[Adriana Mangus]

Dear Chrissy,


We are all praying for you to come back stronger than ever!

Your sisters at this site Love you a bunch. Thank you for the latest post.



Sending you a HUGE cyber Hug!

Adriana

[chrisy]

Hi all,

This is Steph, Chris' sister and I am sad to tell you that Chris passed away late Thursday evening. Her husband was with her, holding her hand and she was not alone. And she is no longer in pain.

I would like to thank you all for the love and support that she received from you throughout this battle that you are all still fighting. And I know Chris would tell you to keep fighting.

Peace and love.

[Adriana Mangus]

Dear Steph,

I'm so sorry to hear about Chris passing. I will dearly miss her. Please give my condolences to her husband, whom she dearly loved.

Love and prayers to your family,

Adriana

[Sdgirl]

I am so sorry to read this. My condolences to her family. This is so sad- I have no words. Thankyou for letting us know.

[LoisLane]

Sweet rest dear Chrissy....you fought so hard and helped us all the while. I am so sorry for her husband and family but I am relieved that Chrissy passed away fairly quickly and her pain is now gone. She will be welcomed with open arms by the others who have gone on before her. Starry starry night......

[CoolBreeze]

Steph, I'm so sorry for your loss, and the loss of all who loved her in real live, as we did o the forum.

[dearjilly]

Thank you for letting us know Steph. My thoughts are with you and your family, as well as Chrisy. Much love and strength to you all. (cyber hugs)

[Jackie07]

Chrisy has fought the good fight. She will remain in our hearts. May she rest in peace...

[dawny]

Thank you for letting us know, steph. Chrisy will be sorely missed here, she was full of compassion and humor, a shining light on the boards
Dawn xx

[michka]

No! Not our Chris! She means so much for us. Steph, my thoughts and heart go out to you and your family. Love. Michka

[roz123]

so sorry for your loss...I always smiled when I saw her avatar picture - that laugh/smile was they way she wrote, always adding in some humor to her posts - she will be greatly missed here

[Pamelamary]

Thanks Steph - I am saddened by this news, but will try to hold Chris's strength and courage in my heart..... Pam

[SusanN]

Know that prayers and huge hugs are being sent your family!!

[Patb]

So so sorry to hear this news. What a fighter she was
and what a wonderful attitude. My prayers are with
all her family. Thank you for letting us know. Days will
be sadder without her wonderful comments. I sent Tiptoe to her just this year. Loving memory
patb

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Thank you so very much for thinking of us, Steph. I feel devastated at the loss to this world of such a remarkable woman. Chrisy never failed to transmit her funny take on things always with so much love, strength and courage. She gave her all and did her very best. I have no doubt of that.

Chris was among the best of Sisters to each of us, and among the best of human beings to touch this world. I/we could never forget her extraordinary grace, zest for life and her amazingly strong will. Her humor never flagged. Chris was and remains a brilliantly beautiful role model for each and every one of us. I will carry her Spirit with me forever...

I look forward, in time, to seeing her and hugging her and laughing with her. I am sending my deepest condolences to Chris' husband who she so dearly loved and all her family. We've lost a radiant star among us.

With my love,
Andi

[LeahM]

Thank You Steph for letting us know. My sympathies to you and your family. I didn't know Crisy well but she made me smile more then once.
All The Best
Leah

[Redwolf8812]

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS54ZGk1jM_AGEqCA80TOeIATOMYYSo8 53dpp4muK3XGJbu-ZfALg

[Paty]

So sad and devasteded for the loss of Chrisy. Great fighter and great inspiration to many of us. My condolences are with the family of Chrisy. God bless you.

[jaykay]

I'm so sorry, you and your family have my sympathy. Chris was unselfish, funny, wise and full of grace.
Janis

[sassy]

Thank you Steph for letting us know our Chrisy has no more worries. I selfishly wish she could have stayed with us to dispense her wry humor and extensive knowledge on this disease. Chrisy has helped innumerable people with her knowledge, insignt and trailblazing ways in the BC world.

We will miss her sorely--but I'm sure she is with Sheila and Brenda and all our other sisters enjoying some Mole' sauce, shouting Crap on a Crapstick, discussing things like Whack-a-Mole, and being our guardian angels.

[ElaineM]

I am so sorry to hear about Chrisy. I am going to miss her. She is with our other angels watching over us.

[Bunty]

Thank you Steph. My condolences to you and all Chrisy's loved ones. My goodness Chrisy touched so many hearts and will be greatly missed.
Marie

[jacqueline1102]

I am so very sad to hear about Chrisy. My thoughts are with her family and with all of you who knew her. Her posts were such an encouragement.

Peace to all,

Jackie

[Mary Jo]

So sad to read this news. I will miss "seeing" her on this board. She was a shining light for us all. Rest in the loving Arms of your Savior, Chris!!! See you someday.

[karen z]

Thank you Steph for letting us know. I am sure this was not easy to do.

Sassy said the words I feel- and much better than I could say. With much affection and love, please give my best to Chrisy's husband and other family members. Chrissy helped us all so much and was much loved.

[Mandamoo]

Steph I am so sad to read this news. Chrisy either with and humor helped so many of us on this board. She will always be an inspiration to me. May she be at peace. My condolences to her loved ones.

[Paula O]

Thanks for letting us know, Steph. Please share our condolances with her husband and the rest of the family. If there is a link to her obituary please do post it.

(((Hugs))),

Paula

[Mary Anne in TX]

Knowing how difficult it is for those of us on the Her2 board to let Chris go, it must be so awful for her family. I never knew anyone who had her priorities so in order, her love for her family so strong, her joy and appreciation for the job she had, and the committed fight against the killer, cancer. Chris was an amazing human being. The warriors upstairs are probably still cheering to have her with them. Thanks for being you, Chris. Prayers to family and friends.

[jml]

OH NO! NoNoNONONO!
I can't even find the words or thoughts to express my sadness & devastation. Thank you my sisters for so eloquently expressing.
our shared feelings and sending peace and comfort to Chris' family. May your hearts heal quicly.
So hard to keep the faith in light of the loss of our amazing,
witty, humours, brilliant, positive, strong Warrior Chris.

Keeping the Faith, though it's difficult~

Jessica

[mmoons]

My heart just broke into a million pieces. I am prining out all the amazing words Chris wrote me since my journey began so I can keep them and read them when I want to feel close to her.

I am so deeply sorry for your loss, Steph.

Maureen

[caya]

Add me to the list of those whose heart is breaking.
Steph please know how well loved and admired your dear sister was on this board.

I'm glad she is no longer in pain. Rest in peace sweet Warrior Woman.

all the best
caya

[Joan M]

Steph, thanks for letting us know about Chrisy. My condolences to you and her husband and other family members for the loss of such a fabulous and great lady. I will miss her tremendously. We were together twice at SABCS, and she always had me in stitches. Her attitude was remarkable. She mostly put a positive spin on bad news but was never pollyanna. She was honest, realistic, and didn't drink the kool-aid, and for those reasons I love her and feel that she gave a lot of herself to this board. Chrisy was totally knowledgeable about this terrible disease. At my times of need, she gave me a strong shoulder to lean on. Heaven just got another angel, but one who is a little devilish and will keep everybody on their toes.

Joan

[BonnieR]

My heart is so sad. I have no words. But Sassy spoke for me. And Joan
We have had a big loss in our world. It's hard to keep the faith, but we need to....

[Ceesun]

Just so sorry, we on the board, and her family of course, have lost one of its heartbeats. May God bless her soul. If we look at her diagnosis, she should have "made it." BC is so unpredictable....Chrissy will always be remembered. Ceesun

[Laurel]

Writing through the tears. Chrisy was one amazing warrior woman. I so very sad for all of us. Thank you, Steph, for letting us know. Blessings to you and your family.

[suzan w]

Sad sad sad. Will never forget you, birthday twin. 7-11

[KsGal]

Im so very sorry for the loss of your sister, and my prayers go out to you and your family. Having said that, I am literally sick to my stomach. This is absolutely horrible news. As much as everyone admired and loved Chris here, knowing her through the written word, I can only begin to imagine what a wonderful, funny, caring person she was to know in person. I hope she knew how many lives she touched, how many sisters she reassured, and how much she inspired everyone.

[Kim in CA]

Thank you for letting us know about Chrisy. I just can't wrap my brain around this, it's so not fair.

Sending love to you and your family.
Kim

[Bill]

Thank you, Steph, for letting us know. We'll miss Chris deeply. I hope you are all doing as well as you can. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[Mtngrl]

Dear Steph,

I'm so sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathy.

Chris was an original. She will be sorely missed.

Thank you for letting us know. It means so much to us to get the whole story. That way we can accompany each other the whole way.

She was deeply loved and cherished. In the end, that's the best legacy anyone can leave.

[Pray]

She gave so much of her self here and we are all better for it. Peace my friend