Anyone else feels guilty about their med expense?

[yanyan]

I work for an insurance company and have medical coverage thru my work. I am on PPO this year and so far my treatment have been limited to oral chemo drugs. I know my Medical exp will be 6 digits if I have surgery this year. My medication alone cost at least 5000 a month. I kinda of feel bad I am using so much money although that's what insurance is for. Just wanna know how you deal with this feeling of guilty? Thanks!

[BonnieR]

I feel grateful, not guilty. Grateful to be able to afford insurance to pay these exorbitant costs. Who should feel guilty are the institutions and drug companies that inflate costs and charge several dollars for a simple aspirin for instance If anything, you should feel angry that these expenses are having this effect on you Just remember that they are out of your control and you are doing nothing wrong by incurring them
Keep the faith

[Jackie07]

The total cost of my first surgery (craniotomy) and 40-day hospitalizationrehab including 30 days rehab (PT, OT, ST) in mid 1990 was $100,000. I was a new immigrant who had just worked a little over a year after getting my degree. I was very thankful and our local newspaper had printed a feature article that Thanksgiving.

11 years later, I had to have a GKRS and it cost a little more than $20,000.

Then I had breast cancer which ran about $50,000 for lumpectomy, chemo, and radiation in 2003. During the treatment in 2007 for recurrence, the bill ran up to $160,000.00 when I stopped at 22 weeks. Otherwise the total cost would have been at least $220,000 (I'm with a HMO).

In 2010 I had a prophylactic hysterecomy/oophorectomy which was probably around $30,000.

Add inflation, I've run up probably close to half a million dollars on medical bills. Haven't earned that much money during my working years.

No, I don't feel guilty at all. I've had many healthy family members/relatives and they all pay insurance more than they take out. That's what insurance is for.

Be grateful, but put yourself first during your fight! You didn't ask for this disease, you are not responsible for having breast cancer! You are not guilty in any respect! Look at the other way, you are allowing people opportunity to do good deeds whenever you accept their assist.
You've got to put yourself first in this journey!

But be tactful. There will be times when everyone is tired, stressed, or depressed. Be considerate. Those who are around you will feel it and they will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

But most importantly, be yourself!

Sending you good vibes.

[LeahM]

Not a drop of guilt. Not one. We work hard and pay our insurance and therefore it is there for us to use when we need it. As times were tight when I was diagnosed I applied for a reduced cost of care from my hospital and got it. Our out of pocket expenses have been minimal and I have no guilt.
Leah

[jaykay]

No guilt at all, just consider myself very lucky that I have good insurance coverage with my company. And that's not cheap!

Janis

[yanyan]

Thanks ladies. I do feel very fortunate that I have access to these medicines and good doctors. I would have never been able to afford it without insurance. I just wish they aren't so expensive.

[AlaskaAngel]

yanyan,

I share the feeling, although for the most part I am thankful to have the choice, as so many others on the planet do not. I did not turn down chemotherapy myself.

So to me there is a lot of responsibility involved in making choices about treatment.

When I talked with the onc I was referred to, one way in which I tried to be responsible in determining treatment was to request to participate in a relevant clinical trial, so that at least I might be helping to advance treatment options for all others as well as myself. I didn't know how to go about it, but mistakenly thought my oncologist would provide some guidance. At the time, I would have been eligible for one of the trials using trastuzumab for adjuvant treatment that was in progress. The oncologist did not let me know anything about the trials for HER2 positive patients, and by the time it was available, my onc felt there would be no benefit to me. In a way, given that I never had trastuzumab and have not recurred, I am thankful that the major cost of it was not "wasted" on me, because it and all the monitoring and testing that go with it are quite spendy.

I do think it is not very intelligent to apply expensive and sometimes damaging treatments to the patients who are at lowest risk when there is no way to know which ones benefit (especially when most get no benefit), and when there is no way to know for which patients the treatment may worsen the disease.

A.A.

[yanyan]

Thanks AA ! I am glad that you are doing so well after 10 years !!! I wish i didn't have a recurrence but it happened and that is why i am still in treatment and maybe in treatment for the rest of life. Because my insurance carrier is my employer, i guess it makes me feel conscious about my high med expense. I have always wanted to go to Alaska and wonder about taking my daughter on a cruise from Seattle. Is the Inside Passage Route lots of fun ?

[snolan]

No guilt, I have paid into an insurance plan for over 20 years. I rarely ever used it except when my kids were born. If I don't use it who gets it, the insurance company? If I pay for something I have the right to use it.

[AlaskaAngel]

Hi yanyan,

When we feel good about our jobs and employer, we tend to feel like we owe them more... But insurance companies especially are the ones who have direct knowledge about the expense of the care that they offer employees, and they know that cost is no less a part of what you are receiving in return for your work than your paycheck is.

The Inside Passage is peacefully beautiful all year around (mostly dark in winter). One can travel it by either cruise ship with all the trimmings and preplanned excursions from the towns along the way, or one can travel it aboard the state ferries on a more casual basis. Both usually offer cabins for overnight travel. I've never done a cruise, but I've enjoyed the ferry rides many times. Sometimes people choose one for the trip up and the other for the trip back, when they can coordinate them, or a quick plane trip one way. We like to take the Canadian ferries too, on the southern end between Alaska and the Lower 48. I don't think any of the Alaskan ferries offer internet service yet, but that in itself allows more time for relaxing and enjoying the sights and "getting truly AWAY from it all". It sounds to me like you have the spirit of adventure to get you on board!

A.A.

[chekmark]

I am also an insurance girl but at the other side, I code it. I will be honest and say that I am grateful that I had great coverage to cover my care. Years I never used it and then bam but I do feel guilty that the employers rates go up due to the extra cost which results in employees paying out more. It happens but Obama care will change a lot of things so be happy with what we have now cuz I think it's going to get ugly. Just my opinion.

[yanyan]

Oh chekmark I don't know what's gonna happen with the health care reform. But it's goog now they exclude per existing conditions and well women benefit is covered with zero copay. But again this is for people that already have insurance. I just hope those in need will not have to sacrifice their access and quality of care.

[sarah]

No guilt and I like the fact that everyone here has the opportunity to have the best care regardless of cost and choose their doctor. I am so grateful not to have to think, "can we afford this" I've changed doctors, I've had Herceptin and Femara for 6 years and numerous surgeries (also chose my surgeon) and the people who do my scans, etc. No guilt just gratitude that money is not the first consideration about my care. It upsets me when I hear people struggling with illnesses and finances.

[conomyself]

I felt sort of guilty at first, and sometimes I still do a little, but I catch myself and turn it into Gratitude and remind myself that I'm worth it. God must think so or I wouldn't still be here :)

I'm fortunate that we have very good insurance, but I get concerned about others who don't.

Rachael