Scans/echo today...PRAYERS welcome

[NEDenise]

Good Morning Friends,
Today is a day I've been dreading.
This morning I have an echo, followed immediately by a cardiologist appointment. As I'm sure many of you realize...both of my current magic bullets H and Tykerb both can cause low EF. If my EF is low, I have to come off both meds...and that terrifies me! My little brain needs that Tykerb to fight off new lesions.

Then...if I dodge the low EF bullet...I have a full body CT this afternoon to see if the BC is still "only" in my brain.

By this evening...I'll either be over the moon happy...or virtually inconsolable. I feel really good. I hope that's a good sign...but I also felt really, really good the day the onc called to tell me I had 2 brain tumors...so that doesn't give me any great comfort.

I'm sorry to be a downer...I know that's not usually my style...but I'm scared today. And, I honestly feel like I need my friends to lift me in prayer, send healing energy, share some good Karma...whatever you feel. If I end up off of H and Tykerb...prayer is all I have to protect me.

I do know there are other chemo meds I could take, but I'm pretty sure all of those have SEs that will mean an end to my feeling really good...and being able to teach. That would suck...royally...and make me feel my mortality in a way I don't look forward to. As long as I'm teaching...and in my classroom...that's proof to my little brain that I winning...that I'm NOT dying.

Ah well...it's time to head off for the echo. Sorry for rambling. But...you know how it is...better than anyone else in the world.

I'll let you know how it all goes.
Denise

[JennyB]

Good luck Denise I will dream of only good news today for you and hopefully you will have it when I wake!! Look forward to a good post later - fingers crossed xxx

[whatz]

Praying for good news (since that's (praying) is my thing ;-) ). Lifting you up! Know how you feel. Echoing Jenny, looking forward to a good post later!

[sarah]

you'll have good news!
hugs and love
sarah

[hestko76]

I'm praying for good results and strength for you. Let us know when you know.... Think POSTIVE!

[ammebarb]

Denise, you've got those prayers. Hope you know real soon that EF if fine and that scans show absolutely nothing!

BarbA.

[Rolepaul]

No matter what the news, there are paths forward. The path may seem rocky with bad news, but find which rocks are made of gold and diamonds. I am hoping for a smooth road to recovery. The world needs all the great teachers in can get.

[caya]

Sending prayers from Canada to you dear Denise!!

fingers crossed for good news!

all the best
caya

[NEDenise]

Thanks guys
I'm in the echo waiting room right now.
Not worried exactly...my brain takes me off to a numb place when these things get close. That, and God bless the inventor of Ativan! ;)
I'll know in a few hours...and I'll let you know too.
Denise

[Kellennea]

Good Luuck today!! I'll be thinking of you and sending good juju your way :)

[Redwolf8812]

WON AND DONE, MY FRIEND! NO WORRIES!

- Penny

[Mtngrl]

Dear Denise,

I'd be scared too. Maybe that's why I don't ever even consider what I'd do if I had a low EF or if a scan showed progression. Don't borrow trouble, Darlin'! The worries of the day are sufficient, etc.

I can tell you I have a friend who had a huge brain met (they were amazed it didn't blind her, or paralyze her, or both). They zapped that, and then she had a recurrence--a couple of smaller ones. That was over a year ago, and she's been stable ever since on T and H. And I'm stable on T and H.

I believe in prayer. I also believe in the body's own ability to fight cancer. The targeted treatments help our immune system do its job, but we are not helpless if we have to take a break from the meds. I had a liver met that shrank between the time it was found on a CT scan and the time I had it biopsied. The doctor said it was so small he wasn't sure he had hit it. That was obviously just my own body fighting the cancer, with no other help (besides prayer, guided imagery, meditation, and maybe green tea. Who knows?)

You can do it. You can keep being you, and living with, not dying from, this disease.

And, of course, no matter what, ultimately you are perfectly safe. There's nothing that can separate you from God's love.

[karen z]

Thinking of you today and waiting to hear from you.

[LeahM]

Only good things are allowed on my birthday, which means today will be a good day for you. Prayers ascending NED Denise.
oxo

[NanaJoni]

Denise - I add my prayers and good thoughts for you through this tough day. You are such a blessing to all of us - hope you can feel that through cyberspace.

[Becky]

I am thinking about you too. Of course you are scared to death. I would be scared to death too. The main point here is that you are talking about it, writing about it. That's excellent and helps in its own right and you are writing about it to us.

Don't discount that feeling great is great and it is the greatest sign of all. I can hardly wait to hear the "all's clear" later.

[Rolepaul]

So are you good to go? Let me know if I can help with advice.

[Paty]

Praying for good results Denise!

[chrisy]

don't forget to breathe, my friend!

[kshirley060]

Praying for you Denise! Waiting the hear the good news.

[carlatte7]

Praying praying praying...and here's a big hug...

[conomyself]

Lots of prayers your way, Denise! Keep us posted!!

Rachael

[NEDenise]

Well...one bullet dodged!
EF was just fine! Yay me! Yay God!
I probably won't hear anything about the CT scans until tomorrow...or heaven forbid...Monday.

I was much more concerned about the EF anyway. Even though, as our sage Amy reminded me...I'm okay no matter what...because I'm NEVER alone.

If the CT shows progression somewhere...I'll cross that bridge if, and when I come to it...In the meantime, I just wanted to make sure my brain was protected against further invasion! I'm inordinately fond of my brain...it's been with me a long time!

Thanks again for all the prayers and support! I'll keep you posted! And, please know that when I count my blessings...I count you guys TWICE!!
With love and gratitude,
Denise

[Bunty]

I just opened this post and read your original entry and now this good news! Yay!!!!! I still get nervous about the EF test too, after all these years, and that's my point, it's after all these years!

Will be thinking and praying for continued good results on the CT as well. And by the way, I for one am very fond of your brain.

Big hug
Marie xx

[Laurel]

Well, Denise, I would have been surprised if your EF was low in light of that big HEART of yours! Way to go, kiddo! I am believing your scans will be equally worth celebrating.

[fullofbeans]

Praying you get the results you want: good ECHO and a good CT scan and all be well
with love

[Pamelamary]

Positive thoughts and a big cyber hug from down under!
Pam XOX!

[Mtngrl]

I'm fond of your brain, too, Denise--and your wit, charm, grit, and compassion.

Love,

[Mandamoo]

Ditto what everyone has said! I too have a fondness for your brain - may it be cooperating.
Glad EF is good.
A x

[NanaJoni]

Denise - I love your brain, too. And your heart and your spirit. So glad your EF was good. You have lifted me up so many times with your beauty and joy. So I hope you can feel you are being lifted up with all our prayers and love.

[michka]

Dear Denise, I also have all my fingers crossed hoping for an excellent scan.
I am watching for your next post and thinking of you. Hugs. Michka

[KsGal]

Way to go on the EF, Denise. You are strong and you are feeling good. Keep the good energy up and those pesky negative thoughts out of the picture. It's going to be a good news day today. ((hugs)) Plenty of prayers headed your way.

[JillaryJill]

thoughts, hugs, prayers your way Denise. Good news on the Muga!!!

[JennyB]

Sigh of relief about the EF ( I know your worry there!) well done! Am patiently waiting for the second piece of good news xx

[Paula O]

Hooray for the great news! :) I'm happy for ya and hope all is well with the scan too.

Praying,

Paula

[ammebarb]

So very glad you had good news yesterday! Now, here's to great news today too!

Barb A.

[Shobha]

Praying for great news on your scans too! Waiting to hear from you.

[Laurel]

Holding my breath to hear the scan news, Denise! Thinking of you!

[StephN]

Denise -
Glad to hear you have regained strength and kicked aside the aftereffects of the dreaded decadron.

If you follow my pattern, those little seedlings that got into your brain were from early on and NOT from any current lesions - because I did not (and you do not) have ANY!

I am betting on a clean scan.

[jml]

Good news is always GREAT news.
Hoping for more of the same...

Please keep us posted~

Keep the Faith!

Jessica

[dawny]

Fantastic news Denise, let's her the second bit of good news now also!

Dawn

[Pamelamary]

We are all hanging in for you Denise, waiting for news. You are strong, and I am sure you will be able to cope with whatever happens.
Cyber hugs..... Pam

[europa]

I am so relieved and so happy for you. I'm sure you are breathing a little easier right now. You continue to be in my prayers.

[karen z]

Sounding good. Also hoping for more of the same.
Best,

[twosenuf99]

Glad your first part was good news. Thinking about you. Hoping for more good news..

[Ceesun]

Denise, Your posts are so honest and heartfelt --you are such a sweetheart. As I post this I hope your tests are done and all good!! I admire that you and Barb H are both teachers and continue to teach with what you are dealing with. You are so right that the minute you walk thru that classroom door, it all starts, students, grades, administration,lesson plans, committee work, parents, you know the drill!! See, I was a middle school teacher for exactly 31.8 years and I worked while Stage 4 until I had to have a mastectomy (prior lumpectomy) that was when I decided I had to make my change to retirement. So I am in your corner... and especially as a fellow educator.... in these tragic few days. Hugs, Ceesun

[NEDenise]

Friends,
You are all so sweet. I still did not hear about the CT - chest abdomen, and pelvis - but I've been distracted by a bulging disk in my lower back...and the accompanying shooting pain! Never a dull moment around here! ;)

After all the steroids following the Gamma...and the weight gain...and the puffy face...I swore I would never again take steroids unless my life depended on it. Well, let me tell you...when they told me that steroids might make the pain in my back and legs go down...I couldn't swallow them fast enough! OOOOOOOUUUCH! Steph, I know, you know exactly what I mean! I think that once I get all this cancer BS under control again, it's time to get this disk fixed once and for all.

As soon as I hear from the onc tomorrow...I'll let you all know what I know. Thanks for checking in and sending your love!
Denise

[karen z]

Dear Denise,
Let us know. In the meantime I hope the back pain has lessened with the steroids.
Take care,
karen z

[NanaJoni]

Denise - so sorry you've had to deal with the disc problem on top of everything else. And I've been praying hard to hear good news on your scans (along with all the others here). On the steroids - I said the same thing-until I couldn't breathe or walk to the bathroom without stopping for a rest. Now I'm going to be taking 5 mg prednisone for life but it makes life so much better and keeps my little lung problem from progressing. (even though my youngest grandson kissed me one day, then leaned back and said "Nana, you are furry". - just a little extra facial hair from the steroids.) So we do what we must. You have made so many of my bad days better with your spirit and joyous attitude.

[NEDenise]

Hey Friends!
Just got the call...
CT of Chest, abdomen and pelvis all clear!!!
Yay!!
Hooray!
Merry Christmas to me!

Thanks for hanging with me while I waited! And thanks for all the kind words! Joni...your grandson sounds absolutely precious!
And thanks for the votes of confidence for my little brain! She's very flattered, I'm sure. I just hope praise doesn't make brains swell the way it does some people's heads! That would mean more steroids AAAAAAAHHH! :)

Next brain MRI is on January 8th!
Keepin' the faith!
Remembering to breathe!
And hoping my back stops hurting soon!! Listen to me! Already complaining about something new! Sheesh! Some people want it all! ;)
Love to everyone!
Denise

[Pamelamary]

Wonderful news, Denise!
Happy Christmas to you.... Pam

[ammebarb]

Denise, that is absolutely fantastic news! Have just been waiting to hear those words! Yes, Merry Christmas to you ! And now, I hope the back feels better very soon. You made my day!

Barb A.

[karen z]

Many many congratulations to you !

[LeahM]

Yay! Fantastic news! Merry Christmas and here is to a Happy and Healthy New Year!
oxo

[caya]

I am THRILLED for you Denise!! Thanks for sharing this good news, we really could use it on this board these days...

Merry Christmas and a Happy Healthy New Year to you and your family.

all the best
caya

[Laurel]

You keep that faith, Girlfriend. Thank you for the Christmas joy! We needed good news! Keep it coming, Lord!

[NanaJoni]

Yea! Yea! Hooray!. Been waiting for this good news all day and so glad to hear it. Next the back problem - hope that will ease up soon. Thanks for letting us know and we'll be saying prayers for January, too.

[Bunty]

Woo hoo! Yeehah!! You beauty (that's an Aussie one thrown in)!!! So happy for you Denise - I can see you jumping up and down right now, despite that damn bulging disc.
Merry Christmas to you, your lovely family, and that wonderful brain of yours!
Cheers Marie

[LoisLane]

Hi Denise so happy with all your good news. Wishing you a wonderful Christmas and
a happy healthy New Year Lois

[chekmark]

Best news ever. So happy for you. I had a microdiscectomy about 10 years ago for a herniation. So andeasy and pretty painless. I have another one but no sx yet. One hurdle at a time.

[sassy]

Whoopie!! You go Denise!

[Becky]

Yippee for you

[JillaryJill]

Denise, first of all...congrats on all the good news!!! A Merry Christmas indeed for you and your family. Feel free to message me about your back. I just got 3 steroid injections in my back, S1, L5 nerve for two bulging disks. The pain is unreal. Just a heads up...the oral steroids might not work if the pain is going down your leg. I am hoping the shots work for me...don't even want to think about surgery.

[twosenuf99]

Congratulations Denise! That is awesome news. Merry Christmas and happy healthy new year

[Jackie07]

Absolutely wonderful news! So happy for you. Enjoy the holidays!

[Mandamoo]

Awesome news! I hope your back feels better soon.

[Redwolf8812]

http://images.wikia.com/totaldramaisland/images/0/06/Dance-smiley-face.gif

[Pray]

How wonderful for you Denise! Gods blessings to you. May you blessed with a Beautiful Christmas! Peace my friend, Nancy

[embur102]

Nothing wrong with wanting it all :) Congrats on the Best. News. Ever.

Merry merry Christmas, and may 2013 bless you and your family with health, happiness, love and lots of laughter!!

Rock on, Denise!!

[Rachnick]

Yay, NEDenise! I'm so happy for you. I remember that time waiting for scan results. Have a great Christmas!

[Mtngrl]

Denise,

I'm so happy for you!

Have a fantastic Christmas.

[CarolineC]

I'm so happy for you; now you can relax abit with your family and truly enjoy the holidays; no work and no tests, just enjoying this time.

[mamacze]

Whoo Hoo! OMG, I just checked in after a Christmas break and reading through all these posts was more gripping than a Patterson thriller - I am so RELIEVED and feeling such gratitude that you- Denise- get the start the new year with a clean slate! Riding the top of the wave of great treatments. I couldn't be happier for you and the relief you must be feeling. XO

[Rolepaul]

Keep on not needing Nina's regimen. We are there to help. Whack a mole radiation will hopefully not be needed. If it is, don't sweat it. We cut down the trees, but if you can jump on the NED highway, I would be more than happy.