Controlling physical reactions to stress

[bejuce]

Hi HER-2ers,

The article about lack of sleep contributing to aggressive breast cancer and all the studies we know about stress made me wonder whether my zombie like existence breastfeeding my kids around the clock and not sleeping much while also under a lot of stress at work and home (remodeling) had anything to do with my getting sick. I told myself a while back that I'd stop speculating what caused my cancer and that I wouldn't look back in the past and just focus on the present and the future.

I've taken some steps in the right direction: I tend (for the most part as no one is perfect) to eat well and healthy, I exercise 4-5 times a week (including a long bike ride on the weekends), and I try to remain calm and stress free.

The stress free seems to be the most challenging part for me. I've observed that I actually have a physical reaction to stress, like I'll always have diarrhea, and feel pressure in my chest, like my animal instincts kick in and my body is reacting and preparing for a predator of some kind. This happens for example when I have to do a big presentation at work or elsewhere. I get into this tense mode until I'm up there and talking, and the stress dissipates slowly.

I'd love to learn how to control these physical reactions to stress, and I've tried breathing but so far with limited success. Does anyone have any tips?

Thanks!!!

[roz123]

bejuce - i have wondered the same thing. I think all of us diagnosed with cancer try to figure out how "this happened to me"
i have no known risk factors other than dense breasts. I also have looked at these studies with interest as i was under a great deal of stress a few months before i was diagnosed.
how am i dealing with it? honestly, since BC nothing seems important, all the things that used to stress me out don't anymore. BC has a way of letting you see things in a new perspective
now i know this probably won't last, so i am really just trying to avoid things that i know put me over the edge. I am deciding what i want to do when i go back to work, and it will not be what i did previously. Why? too damn stressfull! so my coping strategy is avoid when possible, and if thats not possible i really just try to go for a walk and clear my mind

[KristinSchwick]

My biggest revelation for this stress is clonazepam (Klonopin). 2 mg at night- not only quiets my mind but the next day I feel very at peace and not at all drugged. It is an anti-anxiety as well as an anti-depressant. Very safe, my doctor thinks its a good way to continue my high quality of life.

[Ellie F]

Hi all
I responded on the thread about this subject but like Marcia still feel stressed and anxious and have all the physical symptoms. I tell myself it's stupid and to calm down, do breathing and relaxation but still struggle. It's almost like the path to stress is so well worn nowadays it takes very little to get there rather than years ago when it took a lot of pressure.
Kristen-I am going to have a look at the drug you have mentioned and find out what it's known as here in England. I am glad it works and you feel well the next day.does it help you sleep?

Ellie

[carlatte7]

I too have tried to NOT look back- it is what it is...BUT-are we talking about "oh, I'm late for soccer practice" stress or "one of my kids is suicidal" stress? Cancer visited me at a time in my life where all i had to focus on was to get well, but thinking back to the days of 5 children under 7, wondering what i could have done besides go running for the shelter of mother's little helper, well, it gives me stress! I take 2 Benadryl every night to sleep now. Its going to be interesting to see what else comes from studies like these.

[karen z]

Clonazepam (Klonopin), mentioned by Kristin, has helped tremendously. It quiets my mind enough to get some rest and if I get nervous/anxious during the day it helps out with that too. I am also on an antidepressant (and have been on other ones) but no matter which one I am on I always seem to get "breakthrough" anxiety. Chonazepam is not super fast acting (in and out) like xanax and seems to have a more steadying effect on me. I was just taking 1mg at night but talked to a woman who took at night and during the day (total dose what K is taking at night) and I decided to ask my doc about that. So, I am now taking 1mg at night and 1mg during the day- if I need it. Interestingly, I rarely need it if I am on a vacation, etc. or just do not have a heavy work load. Just saying..................
It helps me a lot.

[Jackie07]

My father had taught me how to do the 'Kungfu' meditation - 'Hit the Seat' is the literal meaning in Chinese.

The posture is similar to all the ones shown in a (sitting)Buddha stature. There's a certain way to lock the legs in Yoga, but the Chinese Kungfu one doesn't require the rigid lock.

The emphasis is on the breathing, and the way I was taught worked great because the person doing it was not aware of the breathing process! Here's how it is done:

Close your eyes. But in the eyes-closed condition, try to 'look at' your nose, and direct your nose to 'look at' your heart. Use the thumb to form a circle with your middle finger. Cross the two circles formed by both hands and make sure the two circles are not touching each other. Concentrate on directing your eyes to nose to heart, and the breathing will become naturally smooth and deep.

I taught this tactic to my husband's young nieces when visiting his family while we were dating. One of his nieces was known to be hyperactive - part of the reasons was that she's near-sighted and cross-eyed. She loved the Chinese kungfu and calmed down soon after mastering the 'fun activity'. The whole family of my then 'boy friend' was impressed ...

[She has become a counselor working with children and adult alike.]

[Hopeful]

bejuice,

What you are describing are the effects of cortisol, a hormone secreted by the body under stress:

http://stress.about.com/od/stresshealth/a/cortisol.htm

One study found that altered cortisol rhythms could predict survival among metastatic breast cancer patients:

http://jnci.oxfordjournals.org/content/92/12/994.full

This is another instance where having endocrinologists involved in breast cancer treatment could have advantages.

It sounds like some of your stress is related to performance anxiety (giving big presentations at work). In 1976, The Lancet published a research article that showed that Beta Blockers were effective at reducing stage fright:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta_blocker#Anxiety_and_performance_enhancement

They continue to be rx'd off-label for this use. They may provide an alternative option to more conventional anti-anxiety medications.

Stress reduction is good for all of us, as stress does have demonstrable negative physical effects on many of the body's systems. Thanks for bringing up this topic.


Hopeful

[bejuce]

Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions and links! I've heard about Clonazepam before through my parents who take it to help them sleep. They had suggested I take it before but I was always afraid I would get drowsy fast.

The studies and info on Cortisol totally makes sense. I've always suspected that the increased stress I was under when pregnant with my 2nd contributed to my cancer. I had all the physical reactions to it like higher blood sugar level during pregnancy when mine had always been normal, the internal anxiety pressure that we feel when stressed, heartburn, etc.

I'll bring this up at my oncologist's appt next month. I'll also be doing my yearly round of scans after that and will definitely ask for a blood test to monitor my cortisol levels.

I also found it interesting the link between cortisol and thyroid function. My mom recently removed her thyroid due to a cancerous nodule, and my brother has hypothyroidism. Probably related to their stress levels as well, I'm sure.

More and more I'm a believer in the body being an integrated system that needs all its parts well oiled and maintained so nothing breaks down. We cancer patients need to be especially mindful of that - our overall well being can and does affect our overall health.

Thanks again!

[AlaskaAngel]

I believe too that we need some kind of metabolic specialist who is present at time of diagnosis to assist those "emergency responders" whose focus is surgery, radiation and oncology to recognize, monitor and address the many intricate interactions of treatments and the metabolic process. Hopefully that would also lead to earlier methods of much more successful prevention of the development of cancers.

A.A.

[jacqueline1102]

Greetings all,

Besides psychotropic medications, it has been known that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps address depression and anxiety. Another term you may google is called mindfulness based cognitive therapy. By addressing our negative cognitions or our apprasial of the situation, our emotional and behavioral responses will hopefully change when changing the negative thoughts. Aaron Beck and Daniel Seigal, MD are sources you can google. David Burns, MD, another excellent source, wrote the book The New Mood Therapy. Check it out. Research has shown that medication combined with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has a known benefit to reducing distress.

Some of the reading may seem tedious at first but it helps slow you down to become more mindful of your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. Jackie also discussed helpful techniques.

Take care,

Jackie

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

People are always asking me what exactly I do when I meditate. I am happy to share.

I sit in a comfy chair or lie on my bed. I close my eyes and focus only on my breath. I dismiss every thought that occurs instantly. Just keep batting them away like flies.

No mind. Only breath. Take life-affirming in through my nose, sucking it in to the count of 7. Then hold on to that breath. Ground myself in The Now -- to the count of 7. Finally, blow that air out through pursed lips, kissing it goodbye along with letting go of any and all that is negative in me (in my head and in my body)... To the count of 7.

Just keep repeating that for about 10 minutes.

Sometimes I start imagining myself in my favorite place in the world. For some this is a beach, for me it is a wooded area I was led to when I was 15 years old, in the Poconos of New York.

I instantly become transported. To that treasured, radiantly glorious spot -- and -- to the feelings and emotions I experienced all those many years ago.

I go to this spot when I have CT scans or MRIs, when I am forced to wait (anywhere) and before or after I do the breathing thing.

Remember your wondrous spot that filled you with awe and joy? See it in vivid detail. The sky, the ground, to the right and the left of you. Smell it. Listen... Were there certain sounds? The trickling or stirring of water? Birds chirping? Rustling? Can you feel a breeze? Return there any time you wish. You are free to do that.

And when you return to reality, the wonder of that experience will remain with you. For hours... You've recaptured the delight you had and will always have when thinking of that spot even from long ago.

Then go out and create a great day for yourself. Despite all the unwanted inconveniences and stresses that Life seems to come with. You're IN THE ZONE...

How we choose to process the realities we are given determines how we will feel. Perspective is key. THOUGHT precedes all emotion. So, I am careful about what I allow myself to ponder and dwell on all day.

It's really really hard some times to reject the awfulness of situations and the constant stream of thoughts and ideas that come from that angry voice in our heads. But, the power of your Inner Voice, which is your truest Self, or your Spirit, is far far greater...!

I KNOW I must consciously choose to listen to my Higher Self. Most of the time. Yes, and sometimes, I forget...

But if I am feeling rotten and distressed, I try to remind mySelf that -- OH, I'm -- disconnected! That's what's wrong! I'm misaligned. Misidentifying myself as that harping voice in my head. WE ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN A BODY AND A MIND... We are each a luminous Soul with the might to rise above the chaos and become The Witness. Observing from above, separate from our trials and their consequent emotions.

I wish you happiness and harmony, the ability to see how sweet Life is and the power to "suck out all the marrow of life", as Thoreau so beautifully put it. To feel alive!

Or as e.e. cummings wrote, "If 180 million people want to be undead, that's their funeral, but I happen to like being alive"...

Here's to Life!!!!!!!

Andi

[sarah]

How do we avoid stress!!!! I had a close friend who unfortunately died of lung cancer and she was convinced that many cancer patients suffered a severe depression the year before diagnosis. What surprised me, who worked in a very stressful profession (bosses were often selfish, demanding spoilt brats.) was that I had "retired" when I had my second cancer diagnosis and the year before it - I was very depressed - usual stupid self reflection about the meaning of life and feeling trapped, etc. So.... interestingly, I think there is a difference between acceptable, supportable stress and stress that paralyses you. By nature I'm a happy, accept what happens kind of person but......just before the second time, I was not that person. While I still believe it's our genes, environment that have a lot to do with our illness, I do think the last straw can be something like stress/depression or ???
I know there are people who believe in a positive attitude and some who have had that and still died too young, I believe strongly that at least if you have a positive attitude whatever time you have left is more fun. I had a close Danish friend whose husband, the love of her life, died in an accident while she was figthing inflammatory bc (often a death sentence) and after he died she said "I've cried enough now I must do all that can in the time that I have left" and she went skiing the winter before she died in that spring. She believed she could beat it and she was a doctor. I thought she had exhausted herself but the one thing I know is she lived every day of her life to the fullest and I miss her.
Shake off stress, find something to love and enjoy every day.
hugs and love
health and happiness - and I mean that!!!
sarah

[Bunty]

Very interesting thread - thanks Bejuce for starting it! This past month I've been sicker than I think I've ever been before (worst than any chemo!). I was hit with a kind of vertigo twice which knocked me down for a week at a time. My body is still recovering (mind you I did lose about 4 kgs!) And all this happened after I got the great news that I was in remission. But what I believe happened (also happened after both my parents passed away), was that my body just collapsed. The past year of fighting the liver and lung mets (keeping a brave and positive face I might add), waiting for the results of what were some of the most important scans in my journey, and then the enormous high I experienced with the good news, and the fact that I've been hyperventilating for a long time, caused the collapse.

Anyway, cutting a long story short, I am now seeing a breathing specialist (who is also an osteopath), and am essentially learning to breathe again (low, slow and soft!) The hyperventilation caused my neck to spasm, causing the dizziness and vomiting. I had low levels of carbon dioxide in my system, and it's been reported that people with chronic illness often have low levels (from stress). I believe there have been studies done on women with metastatic disease who have undertaken certain breathing techniques.

Cheers Marie

[v-ness]

my husband bob died of esophageal cancer only 10 weeks after diagosis. when i was diagnosed with breast cancer in august of 2009 one of the first things on the web i happened upon when beginning my crash course in cancer was that widows seem to be more highly susceptible to cancer (i can't remember if it was BC or all cancers). i kind of pooh-poohed it, but then the more i thought about the awful stress related to the death of a spouse and the toll of grief, the more i thought there might be some link between stress and cancer. then my mom died of ovarian cancer 10 months after i was diagnosed, she too a widow (since 06). was it a coincidence she fell victim to cancer with the blow of cancer in her eldest child after losing her husband, then son-in-law? i'll never know. but i can of course vouch for the toll of widowhood and cancer.

years ago at a time of intolerable stress at work (little did i know then that it was MINOR compared to what i later went through), i began to go running on my lunch hour. i joked that i did it "to keep from killing people". obviously, i am hot-tempered. :) it worked, i went back to work for the afternoon all zenned out from the sunshine if it was an outdoor run or just the plain old endorphins. guess when my workouts lagged off? when pop died in '06. and guess when they stopped? when bob died in '07. i just had no heart left for it. my one release was abandoned.

so then breast cancer came along. i knew my heart could be damaged by herceptin, so i tried to hit it head on by many an aborted attempt to at least use an elliptical trainer or go for walks at lunch all throughout chemo and radiation. huffing and puffing away. i'd even walk to the hospital for radiation sometimes if i was up to it (1.5 mi). FINALLY when i finished herceptin and could actually climb a hill without panting, i began to work out and finally finally it became a habit again. i it is so easy to lay in bed and numb-out or cry, harder to get off my ass and get out - but getting OUT really did the trick for me. my exercise combats fatigue and stress the way klonopin (my drug of choice) never did (now i use it only if i can't sleep).

i joined a workout group of women on Facebook where we report our workouts and keep each other motivated and encouraged. it has been a life-saver, i think. i make sure to take care of ME now and leave the office at lunch to refuel my mind and body at the gym or better yet, outside on trails or the track. i cannot run much anymore (bone & body aches from meds, etc) but that doesn't stop me from doing an 12 min mile walking. i sing out there with my headphones on (the birds never object) and i just enjoy an hour in my own little world. nothing has changed insofar as bob and mom are still dead, i am a widow trying to do the work of 2 people here at home, my job's only gotten more crazy, i've lost a couple more friends to cancer and have had other friends develop it.

sure i keep a bottle of klonopin around *just in case* because there are definitely times that it's needed. but the one pretty potent cure for stress that i've found (in addition to a hammock & a book) is getting exercise. and the added bennie is that it pays me back in better health, better heart & lungs, and whatever else. i'm going to use that regained strength on sunday in the Boston Marathon Jimmy Fund Walk for which my team has raised $7700 for Dana Farber Cancer Institute. i'll be doing 13.1 miles. i should be REAL de-stressed at the end of that. :)

valerie

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Your V-ness...!

It is a genuine delight to get to know you. Great post. You express yourself so beautifully. And what you say is so poignant! I'm so impressed. You really rock, Lady!

God bless, Valerie...

With Love and Light,

[v-ness]

wow, andi, thank you so much for your kind words. i am very touched. especially since i've admired you and your words since the first time i logged onto her2support and read the piece about you on the front page.

i have certainly done more than my share of 'bad' things in response to stress and sadness and pain in my past - the 80's are a blur thanks to too many beers to count. :) and cigarettes.... non-smokers could never understand how a cigarette calms you. the deep breaths. the kind of thing you should reserve for yoga, meditation, even running. i'm still not 'good' and i think my office-mate thinks i have Tourettes i swear so much, but hey, i will never ever get an ulcer because that's another thing - you let it all out and like a thunderstorm, the air is cleared and fresh afterward.

i am happy to know so many of you too, at least by reading. i don't know what i would have done through the cancer days without reading here and being reassured here by what i read. i would rather cling to hope than doom. and hope is all around us here even through the losses.

shine on, andi! valerie

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

I just love this thread!

I wanted to add that stress is unavoidable in Life. So we just have to find a way to deal. I know, wayyy easier said/written than practiced. Absolutely, for sure!

When I was originally dx, I was feeling depression. My Mom was fighting Alzheimers. I was arranging round-the-clock nursing aides to care for her at home for 3 yrs, as she was totally failing. Couldn't walk, talk, read, feed herself, bathe herself. In diapers. Getting supplies for her needs, living 45 minutes away. You know.

The simple things we take for granted are all blessings I would learn. We need to actively become aware of these gifts, recognize them for the treasures they are and express our gratitude in myriad ways. It was deeply saddening to watch my widowed Mom deteriorate. And exhausting.

At home, a thousand yrs ago, though I got lots of love and support, I had serious moments of feeling under-appreciated, ignored and just not valued. My opinions and decisions were readily and too often quickly dismissed. Sound familiar? I think it's called Motherhood.

Then when I was dx, after a time, I began to see the connection between stress and more than psychological problems. Our thoughts and feelings impact our physical health. I felt certain of this. My Inner Voice told me it was so. Others dx and on this site were expressing similar concerns.

Of course the good news is that if we can contribute to our well-being with negative thinking, we can also assist our bodies in healing and even in perhaps warding off illness and bodily dysfunction. (That's btw, how I see canser -- body out of whack, mistakenly overproducing over and over again... mindlessly stupid, not a monster, a broken system.)

I do believe stress hampers our immune system which opens a Pandora's box of potential ailments. We can use our minds, our thoughts and conversations with our body to help ourSelves! How empowering is that?

SHAMELESS PLUG -- please read my thread FINDING YOUR POWER in the HER 2 section. It all comes from my heart and Soul...

But, when my bc recurred, I was feeling happy! Gloriously so. So I was utterly stunned to find that my canser had returned. It was a blow to the gut. To my entire belief system! I'd learned so much from my new Teacher, canser! What went wrong? ??!!!

Well, I hadn't been fortunate enough to know about the HER 2 factor in '95, nor to benefit from Herceptin (which came just in time for me when I metastasized). So that was a grand windfall for me! And -- for so many of us. In '98 it was fast tracked by the FDA and made available to metastatic bcers 1 mnth after my recurrance. And, now firstliners can get that boost.

Body and mind are so clearly linked. We must learn to troll our thoughts and weed out all toxic thinking. It is quite the task, but well worth all the effort I believe.

Docs who treat us as whole beings are a tremendous asset! They are true healers, enlisting us to participate in our own wellness, along w/their knowledge and medicine's latest tools.

[Ellie F]

Hi Andi
You beautifully write about how you were feeling prior to your initial diagnosis. It has many similarities to my story but also many others on this board and who I meet at my centre.I can easily see how stress with all it's negative factors can dampen down the immune response.
I am really interested to understand what your thoughts are about your recurrence? I understand the issue of herceptin but wondered if you thought there were any psychological factors? I ask this as some new research seems to suggest the immune system is a perceptional 'organ' and may be tricked psychologically into believing the cancer has gone when in fact it still needs to be on alert for these cells braving badly.
Hugs
Ellie

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Hi Ellie and all,

In my thread FINDING YOUR POWER, I believe I began with my Prayer for Survival. I discovered my recurrence in August of '98. I kept a copy of every report in various files. At first I called them my Canser files. Then I began entitling them and thinking of them as my Survival files. My Canser stops here files.

I struggled mightily from August to December of '98. Psychologically and physically. I discovered why they called Taxotere the freight train drug. I felt as if I'd been hit by one. 1 mnth in -- I developed Shingles. Luckily discovered as I was gathering opinions from at first 3 oncs then 3 stem cell specialists. (That was up for consideration as my husband and I read everything we could get our hands on, trying to edify ourselves to make good and better decisions.)

As patients we're part of a team. And what we choose is the result of our gathered expert opinions and our understanding of studies.

I had bld work done ev 3 mnths back then. I would compare ea # w/the last time I was time I was tested and w/the normal ranges. My liver enzymes were "slightly elevated". Docs said, I wouldn't worry about it. 3 mnths later -- same scenario. What could be causing that? Lots of things. The statin you take for example. I wouldn't worry about it. 3 mnths later -- same deal. I proclaimed that I was officially worried and asked for a sonogram.

That was approved as something that could be substantiated (to the insur co) and that led to the CT scan which led to the biopsy. There were multiple tumors, too many to count, throughout my liver.

I had what felt like a big itchy bug bite on my belly. I showed it to the onc of the day (up in Westchester). I lived on Long Island back then. I'd widened my search to Manhattan and across both counties of L.I. Herpes zostrix, he said right off. What?!! How did I get herpes???

So I got on the Valtrex fast. When I learned from my chemo onc that I could not receive chemo w/Shingles, I got seriously scared. I KNEW I couldn't win my battle, w/my bc growing w/ea new test, faster than a speeding bullet.

I opened my trusty Prescription for Nutritional Healing book and had my husband gather a few choice supplements to add to the mix. I was in tremendous pain, sick as a dog, as the Shingles spread around my torso. I lived on Calamine lotion and pain killers and prayers. GOD STAY WITH ME. HEAL... HEAL... That was my mental chatter.

When I returned to my onc 10 days after it struck, I sat on the examination table and my doc smiled. So, how are you. Good, I said. Crappy though I still felt. It's gone, I reported. He kind of laughed and said, Let me see. I lifted my tee shirt and he walked around me. His doubt dissolved. I was crusting. You're right. You can have chemo.

But I was generally feeling whipped and wiped out from the Taxotere. I tripped as I walked, not having the strength to lift my legs. I began to shuffle as a way to deal with that. I walked up stairs on all fours. I felt as if I had the worst flu I'd ever had at all times, but still met family and friends for dinners (spurred by the hugs I'd gather, the laughter that would come out of it). I couldn't eat. I wouldn't drink. But I could be.

Bathroom drama was persistent and scary. Fear of not being alive to greet my next grandchild gripped me and brought me to tears (behind a locked bathroom door). My dghtr was pregnant with her 2nd. I was bald, nauseous, grey, no eyebrows or lashes, one breasted w/one foob that didn't match.

I wrote my Prayer for Survival after reading a book my Iyanla Vanzant. Mostly from a toilet, where I seemed to spend hour upon hour. The sentiments came up and poured out of me with all my heart and Soul. I lifted my own spirits with my words.

I offer them to any and all as a way to think and be, to reach for Life and Survival...!

With much love and Light,
Andi

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Okay Ellie, I have been thinking about what you wrote all day. We cannot avoid stress. Yes, stress that paralyzes you is full of fear, and I believe that is humanity's worst enemy. Not the canser, but FEAR. The emotions that come from that emotion are highly toxic.

I believe whatever illness/dysfunction we develop as a result strikes our genetically weakest area. I had a paternal grandmother and paternal aunt who had bc.

Yes, w/a positive attitude whatever time you have is more joyful for sure!! But, I know people who had a positive attitude but deep into the night, their stress came out, as is common in the middle of the night when you feel totally alone in the darkness.

So as I pondered your words today I realized that though (between '95 and '98) I was positive, indeed grateful yet not cocky, I wasn't on guard. And I mean that in an amazingly good way.

After '98 I was on guard at the tower. I offered my gratitude more often and out loud. I spoke to my body non-stop, all day, every day. I've been making my Intention and my Expectation vividly clear, in words and with mental pictures (since August of '98!). And I have read that these 2 ingredients are spiritually essential to our health!!

Deep in the night, when the pain in my arm where the 21 lymph nodes were removed, I have doing something new and interesting! I recently read something quite life-altering. Ken Wilbur again, in The Simple Feeling Of Being, speaks of blocks we develop. And we feel it in our gut, in our chest, other places I didn't relate to as readily so can't recall at the moment.

So, I've been speaking to my body deep in the night, when the pain in my arm comes. I stroke it and speak to it. I address my pain and its derivation. I tell myself -- it's okay to feel that fear and sadness you felt in '95. It's okay to let those feelings up and out. It's okay to let them go. Let them go. And I stroke my arm, and you know what????? The pain has been absent for about 4 nights now. Incredibly gone.

My buried thoughts and feelings about the loss of my breast and the pain like a tourniquet tied too tightly around my arm, choking it needed to stop blocking up my system. I needed to release all that. And to cognizantly acknowledge it -- finally -- and reassure myself that it is alright to admit to that feeling of frailty and vulnerability. I don't have to be strong and brave 24/7. It's okay.

I do embrace each day. I do live with love. Hugs. Expressing my love in many ways, to those I love and to strangers. And I believe that energy is returned to us. I do it to give back, to fulfill our purpose in Life, to help one another. I talk to people as if they are friends, and they become friends.

I used to be so shy. I wouldn't speak up. Now, I talk a lot. As you might guess. I find out the most amazing things. People open up to me and they have Messages for me, and I for them.

And right, Ellie, let's not waste a single day feeling sad or separate. Life is too precious. Valerie and Sarah and Bunty know this to name but a few!

Keep talking to your body! Remember -- it hears everything you think or whisper or say. It sees what you see. And it obeys your subtlest of directions!!!

Love and Light,

Andi

[Hopeful]

Saw this new abstract and thought it would be of interest: http://breast-cancer-research.com/content/14/5/320/abstract

Hopeful

[Ellie F]

Thanks for posting Hopeful. I tried to read the provisional PDF but its subscription only.this article seems to reinforce what myself and a number of others have believed about the effects of chronic stress on the development of our breast cancer. When you consider the suggested effect on the DNA plus the immune suppressant effects of stress this seems very plausible. I don't believe this is the whole story and suspect that the pre- existing conditions in the breast must have been present. What I feel is that stress ' lights the touch paper' and allows the cancerous cells to grow . This won't be the case for all bc but may explain some?
I would be interested to hear what others feel
Andi BB mentions that she feels stress may effect the weakest part of our body. This article may support that.
Ellie

[Hopeful]

Ellie, they keep the subscription papers as subcription only for 6 months after release, then they make it free to all. I will be sure to note the date and repost the entire article here when it becomes available.

The paper released a few days ago that has made all the news, concerning the genetic variations in individual cases of cancer, adds more weight to the theory that epigenetics are largely responsible for cancers. Epigenetics has to do with whether a specific gene is, for want of a better analogy, awake or asleep, and how they get turned off and on. I think the hormones secreted under stress are definitely part of this epigentic puzzle. All the more reason for endocrinologists to become involved in cancer treatment.

Hopeful

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

I've read that everybody has cancer cells in their body. The notion shocked me but Hopeful and Ellie are approaching the idea with new information.

A suppressed immune system (due to stress, not enough sleep) will wake up the dormant cells of our genetically most dysfunction parts.

Sleep (8 hrs for most) which is near impossible (for most) is essential for wellness. It's during that period of time that our bodies heal and repair! I've seen several studies over the yrs (of night shift workers/nurses with crazy schedules) and the impact on their health.

As a full-fledged insomniac, forever, I also suffer from chronic fatigue, forever. So, since bc, I treat myself to sleeping aids. I feel it is my duty to do this for myself, for my body and wellness.

I also take immune system boosters daily, since '98. It is a tough job swallowing that load of pills I've accumulated from my onc/nutritional guru, but it is my job. I diligently stick to the program.

Also, I went yrs ago to an endocrinologist for my hot flashes. She ran blood tests allll my oncs never ever dreamed of. Estradiol and such. She even checked my testosterone, which was slightly elevated. I am a strong-minded lady. Explains a lot. Made me wonder if all bc-ers have this proclivity. Just a thought. But, I realized -- we ALL need to have an endocrinologist in our lives. They see YOU in different ways than oncs do. Naturally.

Lastly my 7 fav supplements are -- CoEnzyme Q10 (150 x 2), Carnitine (500 x 2), Alpha Lipoic Acid 300 x 2), Omega 3 (2,000 x 2), B-6 (50), B-12 (3,000) and D 10,000 -- 5 days a wk. I have the B-12 and D checked w/my reg bld work and I am in normal range, on the low side -- with all of that!

Just sharing. Cause I love you Ladies!

Andi

[bejuce]

Makes total sense to me. I think my genes were woken up with all the stress I put in my body with years of birth control pills (including years taking Diane, a pill that was not approved in the US at the time), back-to-back pregnancies, breastfeeding non-stop around the clock with no break between the pregnancies, and added work stress. I also had bad episodes of reflux after each pregnancy which probably contributed to the genes being awake. But truly, who knows what caused my and each cancer out there. I'm now focusing on the future and hoping for a cure.

[Ellie F]

I'm with you ALL.
Marcia- I am hoping and praying for a cure. Today hearing about Brenda has made me so,so sad. I also sat next to a young woman with her 2 bc today and thought this can't be right that so many women are fighting this disease. I guess at some point the anecdotal links we make will all fit into some sort of pattern that may hopefully contribute to our cure, thats one of the reasons our sharing is so brilliant!

Andi- I think the sleep issue you raise is very important. I know it is now acknowledged as a factor but it's impact not fully understood, not unlike the issue of severe hunger amongst holocaust children and the greatly increased risk of bc in later life.

Hopeful- many thanks for offering to post the full article when available.

Ellie