New plastic surgeon on Wed. A big problem

[Pray]

Hi, I have had a mastectomy w an expander when dx, then implant w/small implant and lift on the good breast -it turned out horrible! Then I had surgery to correct and another horrible out come. Went to a new surgeon and he tried to correct and still looks horrible! I have worn a sweater every day the past two years because my breasts are so lopsided! I am so dreading wearing a sweater this summer! Now I will see the so called best surgeon here, he worked with the dr. that revolutionized the way dr.s do reconstruction now.

I am so tired of all of this stuff! I'm thinking of just having them take the other one and starting from scratch! I don't think I can take one more horrible out come. I really don't know what else to do!

Please, Please Has any one else had this kind of problem? Any advice from anyone?

I know breast do not define our woman hood but I am so uncomfortable hiding my breasts. the 2 times I did take my sweater off because of the heat and I was at parties at the time, everyone I talked to kept glancing at them the whole night I was crossing my arms and putting my fists under my chin as long as I could. The difference in them makes it very obvious!

[sarah]

People react differently to the whole breast thing. Many women feel uncomfortable about losing their breast or how they look. In fact women in general have many issues with their looks so don't feel odd about it.
Maybe you're just self conscious and people aren't looking at you because they're lopsided. Probably looking at you because you look great. Could it be a question of size? Maybe if they're big, they'll encourage more stares? not the fact that they're not perfectly even?
It sounds like you'll be in good hands now. Explain your concerns well and maybe think smaller?
Plastic surgeons are generally spot on with making them the same size, you were unlucky but it should be correct this time.
take care,
Sarah

[Pray]

Thank you Sarah for your response. I wish it was just being self conscious. A have a whole moving box filled with every kind of mastectomy bras, numerous prosthesis (Just at one breast center the nurse gave me five of her samples to work with what ever else I could find!), and many different kinds of regular bras in different sizes. I have had every shop around try to fit me and no one has been able to get close. My arms are higher when crossed then my breasts. I'm 5 6 and weigh 165 I'm about 17 lbs. over weight.

I'm so happy to hear the women here tell how happy they are with there new breasts. The whole time I'm crying because of the way mine look. This has been harder on me than Chemo because I see and feel it every day.

[Pray]

I'm fortunate enough to have good health insurance, I have no limit on mastectomy bras and prosthesis. I figured I could help a few woman who could not afford them I could help them out. So a support group near by collects them and gives them to women who do not have insurance. As we all know they are very very expensive!

[NEDenise]

Nancy,
I had a botched lumpectomy just after dx, and ended up with one very misshapen breast. I'm no expert, but I could tell it was poorly handled...she removed about 1/4 of my breast!

Even after removing so much, the margins were not clear, so I needed more surgery. But, having had so much tissue removed already, I knew I'd need a good plastic surgeon to fix the mess the first surgeon had made.

In the end, I opted to have a double mx and reconstruction, because I wanted to make sure that...
A) every possible cancer cell was excised, and...
B) that the "girls" matched again

Like you, my self image isn't too tied-in to my breasts, but I knew that I needed them to match...or it would be a constant distraction. I'm so glad you've found a new surgeon who can help you get back to the way you want to look! You have been so patient, and tried so many options...I just know this time everything will work out the way you want! You're due.

I'll be praying for you and for the hands of the talented surgeon sculpting your new look. Do you have a timeline yet?
God bless!
Denise

[yanyan]

I have had a lopsided breast for a year now because the implant on the non cancer side leaked. I don't know when you had your last surgery but you need to give the implants at least a few months to settle in. You will then have a better idea how to fix them. If you wear a bra, it should cover up the problem temporarily.

[Pray]

Thank you Denise and Yanyan! I appreciate you dearly!

One implant has been in a year the other 6months. My first appt. with the new surg. is Wed. I'm losing it a little because I'm so nervous what he will say. He will know the last surg. I went to. I really want it done pretty soon my first get away is the first week in June, I'm going with one of my sisters to North Caroline for our Nieces grad. and party. Its hot enough there with out having to wear a sweater!

I'm so glad I have women to talk about this with. I haven't anyone close to talk with here.

Peace my friends,

Nancy

[KristinSchwick]

Nancy,
One thought, and I know this is a hard one to consider. It is much easier to have perfect symmetrical breasts if they don't do surgery at all. In other words- prothesis.

It was never my first choice, I got a bad infection in my tissue expander after radiation and had to have it removed. My other breast is fine, and with my prothesis in, no one has ever been able to tell. Plus I am pain free and insurance pays for all my bras and protheses.

Just an idea- since you've been through hell and back with your surgeries. Also, I don't know if you know, but they over expand the skin on the mastectomy site with the expander, so that when the final implant is put in, the result will sag like the healthy breast. So until that final implant is in, it is likely to be much perkier than a normal boob.

So sorry for your frustration- I am afraid to have reconstruction again after my issues, I don't know if my skin will stretch again. It sucks to not have our own, God given bodies. I hope you can find a good solution.

[sarah]

hello,
well lots of good answers. the plastic surgeon you're about to see sounds like a top person and I believe he will be able to help you.
I think you are obsessing about this to avoid thinking about other things. This problem will be solved by this new surgeon and you will have one less problem to worry about.
After my mastectomy and reconstruction my breasts were perfect but I had a recurrence and 6 more surgeries so now they don't match. my newer plastic surgeon felt badly about that but I was so relieved to be alive, I didn't care. At least you are not at that stage. originally I had wanted them to take the 2 breasts off and no reconstruction - I wanted a certain symetry so I can relate to your position but I've given that up - I don't even wear a bra - too uncomfortable!
enjoy life, every day for all of us is indeed a gift.
love sarah

[Pray]

Thank you Kristen for your post! I don't know if I could do that knowing I still have to have some corrections on both sides. One side the implant pulled away from the top of my chest and left a pretty deep dent the size of a of an egg. Even a t-shirt that doesn't show breast line shows that. The other one slips under my arm. Which I have made adjustments to my bras. (Hence why I am so tired of all this hiding stuff ugh!) We go camping on the beach for two weeks every summer with 30 other people. It used to be a carefree time for me and now I fret how to hide myself. They all love me for who I am I know, I just feel like I'm not myself. do we ever get that back completely?

Thank you everyone! It does feel go to tell my woes so I can leave it behind and enjoy my day.

[Pray]

Sara, I really am trying to think positively. My husband and I have talked about this being my last try. Every day I thank the Lord for my health and status. Every day is a blessing. To the both of us we are a ware that I am one of the lucky ones and appreciate the fact that we have not had to deal with being stage 4. I love your courage you and all the others here are why I come here to build my courage which you do over and over again!

Thanks again for your post.

[AlaskaAngel]

Pray,

My sister had surgery by a well-known surgeon and it was surprising that she had to deal with problems too. Hers resulted in an infection, which eventually cleared up but it was hard on her.

It sounds like you are addressing the problem to the best of your ability by getting the opinion tomorrow to consider. It is hard to know what is best to do once things have gone wrong, and there may not be perfect answers but only you can make the decisions. I'm glad you have the support of your spouse. Let us know how the consultation goes.

A.A.

[Lien]

Hi Pray,

It is hard sometimes to get a good result. I know a woman who'se father is a plastic surgeon and even she had issues. Now, about 10 years later, she finally got things fixed and is very happy with the results. Did you have radiation? It may take a while for the side effects to subside. Perhaps you are one of those who need to wait for a bit until things have settled.

I think you were very unlucky with all this and perhaps your plastic surgeon had an off day. Who knows? I know how hard it can be to accept the new normal, the after-breast- cancer-life. It doesn't help if we have body image issues on top of that. No-one can decide for you whether you look bad or good. That's entirely up to you. I know it is possible to feel good about oneself when one isn't perfect, but it is definitely not easy.

I hope your next surgery will be the last one you will ever need, and that you will be happy with the results. I don't think you are aiming for perfect, just for acceptable. You don't want to stick out, you don't want it to be too noticable. That is a very natural reaction. You will find your new normal, one way or another and then you will be able to move on.

Jacqueline

[Pray]

Thank you so much Angel and Jacqueline!

All of these positive posts mean so much to me! I came on to night hoping there would be more encouraging news. My sisters are always there for me. I hope I am doing the same.
I believe I am confidant enough to go in with the right questions and attitude to achieve a good out come.

I new from the start that you should go into the whole ps thing that the main goal is to look even in a bra and that is all I have ever wanted. I'm not a fashion bug or bikini wearer. My daughter has always told me I should dress my age not my mothers age. (Whats wrong with comfort?)

I will let you know the out come of tomorrows appointment. Thank you all for your kind caring messages.

Jacqueline, I see in your sig. you are still taking mistletoe shots. I have read others also, forgive my ignorance I don't know what that means?

Gods blessings to all,

Your friend,

Nancy

[Pray]

I met with the new plastic surgeon and I was pleasantly surprised!

He seems like a wonderful man and Dr.

I do have a couple of options and one or two things they just can't change. Over all he was very informative and explained everything in great detail. I know more now than I ever did. He even explained the options I can't have and why.

He gave me two referrals one to a Dr. in New York who does a new procedure some of you may know they take part of your fanny? I won't be going there because of the distance. If I had problems I wouldn't want to keep going there or staying any kind of lengthy time there.

The other PS is at UofM, I will go there and see what he has to say if it is the same as the first PS I will go with him. I can't get an appt. until the middle of June. Looks like another summer in a sweater except this time I feel like I have a lot of Hope!

Thank you everyone for getting through this first step! Which I saw as the biggest.

Gods blessings to all of you wonderful people! We really are all sisters in this crazy thing together. I do appreciate each and every one of you!

Love, Your friend,

Nancy

[NEDenise]

Nancy,

That sounds very encouraging! June is only the start of summer. I think before it gets really hot in July and August...you may be well on the way to your new look.
I'm so happy for you!
Stay strong! God bless!
Denise

[Pray]

Hi Denise, Thank you!

How is your lymphedema? Did you go back to work?

[dchips1]

I never had reconstruction, but I not a big bra fan either. when wearing a shirt that matters or "dressing up" then I use my expensive fake boob and bra. Otherwise I use a soft reg sports bra (for more active days to support the other side I am small but it still can cause pain without support), or a layering chami , or tee with a button up shirt. My mastectomy was on the left so I also buy cute shirts a little bit bigger with decoration, on the left and where with the cami, or laying undershirt you then do not have to worry so much. and the button up shirt can be long sleeve if its cool or short for warmer weather. You can purchase soft foam some silicon shapers to help you even out. Every time I think I'm ready to think about reconstruction, something else comes along in my Cancer journey. So right now I just go with what my activities and weather in AZ dictates.

Take care and DO NOT let society dictate to you what beauty is. Your are a beautiful Warrior.
Darita

[dchips1]

Oh yeah you don't have to button the shirt ! "layering" is what my 2 20 and 24 yr old daughters call it! They even get away with it at work.


Darita

[NEDenise]

Hi Nancy!
Lymphedema continues, but isn't really that bothersome. I've been pretty lucky, all things considered.

Not back to work yet...need some more plastics work on Monday. I developed quite a bit of uncomfortable scar tissue in my abdomen, and have some fat necrosis to deal with too. Nothing major...surgery will only be a couple of hours, not 11 like last time...but more major than I could handle while teaching full time. So...I'll be home for a few more weeks, I guess.

Thanks for asking!
Denise

[Pray]

Hi Denise, I'm glad your arm is stable. The Tummy tuck w/reconstruction was one of the procedures that I can not have. I've had 2 c-sections so they can only use one side that is not big enough. Our you still happy w/your tummy tuck excluding the scar tissue? It does sound like it is a great option!

Peace,

Nanchy

[Pray]

Darita, Thank you so much for your input!

Denise, I'm glad your lymphedema is stable! Are you still pretty happy with the tummy tuck procedure minus the scar tissue?

That is one of the options a cannot do because I had 2 c-sections so they could only use one side which isn't enough. It sounds like it would have been great!

Peace,

Nancy

[Pray]

The new Plastic surgeon has an opening on Monday! I'm going to take it.

Darita, I reread your post and I never thought of buying a shirt that has a design on just the mast. side. Great Idea! Thank you!

[NEDenise]

Nancy,
I'll let you know how happy I am with my tummy tuck reconstruction AFTER surgery on Monday. Hopefully, it will take care of the remaining issues...then I will be happy. Until then, the jury's still out.
:) Denise

[AlaskaAngel]

Nancy,

How are you feeling now that you have the information about the one or two things that can't be changed? Did it help to get some clarification about what can be done, to be able to move forward?

I am glad you had a general good impression of this evaluation.

On a personal note....Yesterday I had an evaluation for placement of dental implants, and as part of that, a discussion with the dental surgeon about various choices, costs and appearance. $$$$$ .....

We are each completely entitled to our own preferences. My dentist and the dental surgeon favor choices that provide a better appearance, but of course those are quite spendy. I don't know if 10 years of having had a dx of cancer is what has changed my personal values for appearance or not, but the truth for me is that at age 61, I'm a little more concerned about having enough resources to pay for my living in the next few decades and a little less concerned about the looks of my kisser.... Most people are more concerned about their own looks than about mine, and the older I am, the more that is true. There are times when being more "invisible" can have some advantages....

A.A.

[Pray]

A.A. I like invisible! I'm a pretty plain kind of gal. So standing out is something I shy away from.

At my second opinion yesterday the Dr. was just as great as the first one last week. I am totally comfortable with them both! I feel like I'm in a totally different league of dr.s! For time and money sake I will be going to the one that is considerably closer. I really couldn't say one would do a better job than the other, which is a very good feeling.

We want be doing anything big. It will be a lot of nip and tuck. They both said it wouldn't be perfect (which I never assumed it would be) but they could make it look a lot better! I don't think I'm asking to much. I never wanted to more than average.

As for how am I feeling about proceeding. I'm pretty confident I'm going to be able to put all of this behind me finally!

Thank you everyone for your posts! It helps me so much to have you to talk to.

I'm going to make an appt. today with the first Dr. I hope to be healed by summer so I can enjoy the heat.

Gods blessings.

Your friend,

Nancy